Posted on 06/18/2014 7:12:49 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
The DOJ today requested that Congress appropriate an additional 250 million dollars for a new computer system. DOJ stated the need for the new computer system was caused by an unplanned and unexpected need.
Eric (the Corrupt) Holder stated the new computer system was needed to initiate, document and process the tidal wave of pardons expected in the next two years. With the possible loss of the Senate in the fall and the possibility of impeachment of himself necessitated the speeding up of the pardon process.
The PIMPS (Pardon Important Management Progressives System) is expected to be able to handle the tens of thousands of pardons required for low to high level managers at all the departments and agencies. IRS, EPA, DOJ, BATF and State departments and agencies will be given priority processing. Because His Arrogance is kind of limp wristed, an automatic signer machine function is incorporated into the system.
Managers to receive the pardons must have their applications and donations (or taxes in John Roberts lingo) into DOJ before the fall elections. Required donations (or taxes) will range from 10% of a years salary for low level managers to 40% for high level managers which is considerable less than probable legal expenses (no professional discount for fellow Progressives) if the presidency is lost.
/johnny
Too expensive. Floppies will do.
CGI has one they’re not using.
Well come on, they need new computers, all that porno takes up a lot of hard drive space
I’m told that the new computer system will be able to lose any email in half the time it took the old system.
Are they gona use the Canadian company that designed the Obamacare web site?
It’ll work. They’ll use the same tape that Nixon used in Watergate.
The model they’re looking at does not come with a warranty, but its hard drive will be protected by the Administration’s 5th Amendment guarantee.
“DOJ Requests 250 Million Dollars For New Computer System.”
TRANSLATION = Eric Holder wants a villa in Zurich, a custom yacht, and matching Ferraris.
Only the best 1080p porn for our “public servants”!
I’ll give you $7 for a chisel and a hammer.
Seems like you’d take better care of your work product and I’d want it in stone writing anyway...
In my basement I’ve found an unused IBM PC 286 and many unused floppy discs. I’d be more than willing to help out the DOJ in their automation efforts.
Hey, I posted that last week....
lol
Are they gona use the Canadian company that designed the Obamacare web site?”
You mean the same company that one of the departments in Texas paid $10M to to develop a new web system?
Of course. CGI is the most expert company in the world at siphoning off kickbacks to DemonCraps.
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