WARNING: Article contains foul language, adult concepts, telemarketers.
Peggy? Peggy?
Yesterday's call was two words long.
I remember a scene in a movie (can’t remember the name.) A guy is eating dinner when the phone rings. He answers and a telemarketer starts his spiel. The guy interrupts the telemarketer and says, “Are you proud of yourself? Is this what you wanted to be when you were growing up?” and then hangs up.
I snorted Sprite up my nose and it hurt like hell but I laughed my ass off.
“Yea, though I suffer the slings and arrows of outraged Americans,
I shall endeavor to invade their dinner hour,
And request of them, meaningless, silly, and invasive information,
Or hawk my supposed wares of the moment,
Or, attempt to persuade them of political issues I know nothing about,
All the while, slandering their names, their beloved towns’ names, while reading from the holy writ,
That produces my meager, and undeserved, wage.
I always lower my voice and ask them what they are wearing. THEY hang up on ME...but, mission accomplished!
As sad as I am to admit this...one night a bajillion years ago I had a telemarketer gig peddling magazines.
What ever possessed you, berdie, you might ask. Well, I was 15 (lied about my age) and my family and I needed money for rent, food. etc. The hourly wage seemed astromonical at the time.
I landed that coveted job, studied the “script” and was put “on the phones”. I was without a doubt the youngest person in the room.
After several hang ups, an elderly lady answered and I went into “the script”. When I paused to take a breath she said “Honey, I am a very old, sick woman. I’ll probably never get to read your magazines.” So I apologized, hung up and started quietly crying.
THEN the dude that monitored the phones came over and b1tched me out. When I wouldn’t promise to not ever do that again...he fired me.
Consequently, I really try not to be rude to telemarketers. I don’t know what circumstance forced them to be in such a dreadful job. If I accidently answer the phone I just tell them “Since I’m really not interested I don’t want to waste your time. Thanks for calling and please take me off your list. Bye.) click. However, I thank God every day for caller I.D. :)
When I started out in the securities business over 40 years ago, cold calling was an essential part of getting started, unless you came with a natural client base. "Smiling and Dialing" was how they termed it. We were taught basic scripts, and the ratios to convince ourselves that every time someone hung up on us we were making $10. Basically like this:
100 calls = 10 contacts = 1 sale = $1000 commission. Thus, every time you dialed someone, successfully or not, you were making $10.
Before I'd decided to enter the training program, Tom, the person who was recruiting me wanted to show me what it was like. I was in his office early one evening, and he was cold calling from some list. I was listening on an extension. First 20 or so went fine. Most were no answer (this was before answering machines were everywhere) a few rejections, but polite ones..a few "call me back later" or "I'm not sure" and actually made 2 appts. So I'm thinking.."this ain't so bad..I can do this" when he dials another number. Guy answers YEAH?, Tom just starts a few words of his spiel..."GOOD EVENING, MY NAME IS....." when the guy goes ballistic...starts ranting and cursing...GOD DAMN5 %^%^&()*&%%^&*())*&& MO FO SALESPEOPLE.... more rant..then he hangs up so violently that my phone starts walking across the desk.
I'm thinking that maybe I want to reconsider my potential career choice, when Tom looks at me, smiles, says WATCH THIS,picks up the phone, and calls the guy back. When he answers, Tom jumps right in:
LISTEN!!! I JUST CALLED YOU AND YOU SCREAMED, CURSED, AND HUNG UP ON ME. I WAS CALLING TO TELL YOU THAT YOU'D WON $10,000 IN A CONTEST, BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!
Then he slammed the phone down..said THAT'LL FIX HIS ASS..
FYI..I hadn't thought of that in decades, til I read this thread. Made me smile...hope y'all enjoy my little reminiscence. Thanks...Off to mass...hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend..
I have a friend who will go full tilt speaking Spanish fast as she can til they hang up.
Couple of times she has reverted to a hushed voice saying she can’t talk on the telephone. She doesn’t want her husband to catch her breaking the rules and she’s really. “Please! I can’t be on the phone or I’ll be in so much trouble. “
“Please, Please don’t call agai. I think he taps our phones”
Police showed up one day. After I explained what happened they couldn’t stop laughing.
Funny as hell when she does that.
Or, once in the case of a condo rental, I pretended to be a middle-aged man living with "mother", while my wife played "mother". I was going on and on about how "mother" said that women are bad, and that I should always take care of her, but I wanted to go to a condo to meet girls "without Mother knowing". By the end of the call (about 30 minutes later), I had the Telemarketer's supervisor threatening me with a lawsuit. Good times.
I could never be rude to a telemarketer. They are human beings with feelings—I don’t want anyone treating me that way, so I won’t treat anyone that way.
For the most part, I do not answer the phone. Caller ID lets me know who is calling. If it is important, they will leave a message.
I always say, “This is not a secure line. Meet me at the park next to the flagpole at 7:15pm. I’ll be dressed as a clown selling roses. Bring the cash in a brown paper bag. Don’t be late.”
On last nights Houston news Channel 2 they said on Tues at 10pm they will tell us how to get rid of the robo calls. I can hardly wait!
Back in my working-my-way-through-college days, worked about three days selling the local newspaper over the phone.
Realized I was basically bothering people in my own neighborhood, and quit.
Did manage to date one of the girls in the office for a while, though.
I start out trying to be polite to them and tell them I am sorry, but I don’t want you to waste your time…then they talk over me and won’t let me speak. Then I raise my voice a little to tell them to please listen while I tell them I do not want what they are selling, but they talk even louder to drown me out. Then I have to hang up.
When I get a call from telemarketers I always ask them for instructions on how to cook a turkey.
use nomorobo.com