Implant Allows Terrorists To Talk To God

Military Vet | Unknown

[Yosemitest]

The implant is specifically designed to be injected in the forehead.
And when properly installed, it will allow the terrorist to speak to God, immediately.
No Anesthetic is required.
Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site.
Side effects, like headaches, nausea, aches and pains are extremely temporary.
The implant may or may not be painless.
But in most cases, you won't even notice it.
The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly skilled technician, who will also make the injection.
It comes in various sizes: Generally from .223 to .50 cal.



Please enjoy the security we provide for you.

[Yosemitest]

Smile if you agree with my deployed military friend.

[Paladin2]

I just KNEW where this was going.

Where's the pork lard coating machine?

[Paladin2]

Never forget the ubiquitous .729 gunz.

[YHAOS]

Can you show us some examples of the Techs’ work?

[LucianOfSamasota]

Compassionate treatment for our misunderstood jihadist friends.

[Yosemitest]

New ammo cancels free ticket to Paradise

[GrandJediMasterYoda]

"Guaranteed to prevent a banging sensation of the head"

[SunkenCiv]

Thanks Yosemitest, and h- yes.

[GrandJediMasterYoda]

Could be true, the bag is dead.

[Yosemitest]

You might try Barrett .50 cal M82 Sniper Kill Shot (A MUST WATCH).

[Yosemitest]

I think we should be as painless as possible.
Satan needs a complete body in order to do the proper torture to these lowlifes.

[Mark17]

It comes in various sizes: Generally from .223 to .50 cal.

Ah yes, this is the last thing that goes through the mind of a terrorist, before he talks directly to God.

[null and void]

I think our snipers are doing it wrong.

What Achmed's friends see:
Achmed's head explodes.

What Achmed's friends think:
Achmed has been instantly and painlessly been transported to paradise and his 72 virgins, lucky guy! Praise be to allah!

Guys?

Aim about three feet lower.

What Achmed's friends see now:
Achmed's crotch explodes in a cloud of blood and bits of emulsified tinkle toys. Achmed grabs at what's left, screams, and thrashes, screams, falls, sreams and curses allah, and rolls around, screams, and whimpers, and calls his momma and bleeds and screams and whimpers and moans and eventually dies.

What Achmed's friends think this time:
Holy CRAP! At least he's finally in paradise with his 72 virgins.

Uh, wait... what good are 72 virgins going to be to him now??? That coulda been me!!!

Suicide bombers have been known to wrap their genitals in aluminum foil so they will be able to rape the 72 virgins for eternity...

[Paladin2]

U’re BAD!

[Paladin2]

LOL.

U're BAD too!

[left that other site]

My EYES!!!!

[higgmeister]

You got me to thinking. How about making the detainees at Gitmo into peace cyborgs. Give them the “The Terminal Man” treatment and release them back with some kind of “Omega Doom” reprograming. Or, even if that wouldn't have a practical payoff, don't do it, but tell them we did it.

[Yosemitest]

I like your scenario.
And, as long as we're JUST BEING SARCASTIC, I'd recommend it.
But when other American lives are at stake, and every second counts, our snipers have got it correct.

That reminds me of this story (12-20-2007, 06:43 PM #951).

SPETSNAZ

Brutal, effective, dedicated, the Russian Special Forces - Spetsnaz.
I vividly remember the hostage ordeal in Beirut Lebanon during the mid-1980s
where four Soviet Russians were kidnapped by CIA backed Palestinian Fatah forces.
One of the Russians was subsequently killed in captivity.
The Soviet union responded.
Using their vast network of regional informants and intelligence contacts,
KGB Spetsnaz forces managed to swiftly 'kidnap' the kidnappers.
Thereafter, they chopped up the Palestinian hostage takers and sent their body parts, in boxes, to the hostage takers' families.
Soon thereafter, the surviving three Russian captives were released...
Needless to say this swift, brutal and effective action made a great impression upon me.
And it is now also apparent
that Russia's current resurgence as a superpower is in part a result of surviving KGB/Spetsnaz elements within Yeltsin's western backed government
that succeeded in wrestling power from their hands.
The following is a western produced documentary about the Russian Spetsnaz
that places this organization in proper perspective, albeit a western perspective.

Armenian

Inside The Russian Special Forces - Spetsnaz story (12-20-2007, 06:43 PM #951)

[Yosemitest]

Give them sex change operations, then brain-wash them.
Implant into them a severe hatred for Islam, and an uncontrollable craving for pork and shellfish.
Implant into their psyche so that every time they hear the calls to Muslim prayer, they strip off their clothing and go screaming down the streets calling their god a homosexual.