Yeah, #15 doesn't work for 'Mr. Crackerjacks'. He jumps on my shoulder, every single weekday morning, for his free car ride.And then there’s “Why dogs are better than men” .....
They're 100% pussy?
Why cats are better than women, by Claude Balls.
Yeah, #15 doesn't work for 'Mr. Crackerjacks'. He jumps on my shoulder, every single weekday morning, for his free car ride.Cats don’t even care that they can’t afford a $38K “handbag”...
14. Cats don’t try to borrow money from you.
One of my Siamese cats would routinely go through the purses of any visitors. On one occasion, he proudly removed a Five Dollar Bill from the handbag of a guest and obediently proffered it to my (ex) wife.
Without missing a beat, she admonished him,
“Bucko, how many times have we gone over this? Nothing smaller than a twenty please...”
DANG! I agree! And I’m not a guy!
LOLZ!
No, they mark you every time they see you no matter where you are going so other cats you might encounter know who you belong to.
NOW you tell me.
Cats come with hairballs.
I still have that classic tome “101 uses for a dead cat.”
Dog Girlfriend vs Cat Girlfriend
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4GPG4eNNEk
Makes me want to get a dog....
I don’t see the competition. I’ve always assumed that women were descended from cats, their minds and nervous systems appear to work the same way more or less and they generally want the same kinds of things.
Guys don’t have cats. They have dogs.
Some additions:
23. Cats don’t care if you don’t call. The machine will pick up if you do and you can leave a message.
24. Cats don’t embarrass you by making you bring them home any Feminine Products from the store.
25. You never have to worry about having to carry a cats’ handbag. Or frilly scarf, either.
26. Cats don’t demand that you go shopping with them.
27. Cats don’t make you bring home any chick-flicks to watch.
28. Cats don’t force you to sit still for two hours and watch some of the latest boring “hit” movies.
29. Cats don’t demand that you buy them a bigger bed.
30. Cats don’t worry if their choice of outfit makes them look fat. Usually consisting entirely of a collar, there is never any problem -and what do you mean, “fat”?
31. Cats don’t demand that you know the names of all their relatives and memorize all their birthdays and anniversaries.
32. Cats don’t sneer at the relative lack of intelligence of any friends you bring home. They sneer at them on general principles.
33. Cats do not insist that you dance with them.
34. Cats do not care if you read on the toilet.
35. Cats do not demand that you do something “romantic” once in awhile. If you do not believe Me, just try carrying one off to bed sometime.
36. Cats do not throw hissy fits if you refuse to sit at the table to eat dinner and prefer to sit in front of the telly.
37. Cats hate it if you try spraying air-fresheners anywhere.
38. Cats do not annoy you by constantly asking you what you are thinking.
39. Cats are not constantly worrying to their girlfriends that you do not seem all that ‘sensitive’ after all.
40. Cats do not demand that you undergo therapy because you just do not understand them enough.
41. Cats are not critical of you if you do not want to go outside.
42. Cats do not care about public displays of affection. It had BETTER be private, or touchy-feely is going to be scratchy-ouchie!
9. If you decide to sleep in on a weekend instead of mowing the lawn, there is never any problem. Sleep is a concept well-accepted by all cats.
You must not actually OWN a cat. When kitteh is hungry, kitteh becomes kitteh alam clock.
Nah, some of us can take a joke. :-) In fact here is another male list:
IT’S GOOD TO BE A GUY BECAUSE:
Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don’t give a rat’s butt if someone notices your new haircut.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.
Wrinkles add character.
You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with “So, notice anything different?”
One mood, ALL the time.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don’t rob you blind.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, “He must be mad at me.”
You don’t mooch off each other’s desserts.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th in 45 minutes.
The world is your urinal.
You can eat a banana in a hardware store.