Posted on 05/24/2013 5:21:48 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
White House officials insist that President Obama knew nothing about the IRS scandal until we all heard about it in the news last week. They said because there was an investigation under way, it would have been inappropriate to tell him. And besides, he was too busy not knowing anything about Benghazi. ~ Jay LenoThese White House scandals are not going away any time soon. I’ll tell you how bad it’s looking for President Obama: People in Kenya are now saying he’s 100 percent American. ~ Jay Leno
Yesterday, the Senate minority leader, Mitch McConnell, charged that there’s a culture of intimidation throughout the Obama administration. Really, anyone intimidated by Barack Obama? He can’t even keep Joe Biden in line. ~ Jay Leno
So they spent the last five years claiming President Obama was weak and ineffective. Suddenly he’s Tony Soprano. ~ Jay Leno
President Obama is in a lot of hot water lately. Despite the scandals, 53 percent of Americans say they approve of the job he’s doing. The other 47 percent are being audited. ~ Conan
A new report just came out. It says someone close to the president knew about the IRS scandal and kept his mouth shut. In other words, we can rule out Joe Biden. ~ Conan
President Obama’s had a rough couple of weeks with the big Benghazi scandal, the IRS scandal, and the phone tapping scandal. And now he has to replace all four “American Idol” judges. ~ David Letterman
During a fundraiser yesterday, President Obama said there is a shortage of common sense right now in Washington. At which point the people who paid $5,000 a plate for their dinner applauded in agreement.~ Jimmy Fallon
President Obama announced the appointment of a new acting commissioner of the IRS — the other guy was fired. See, they’re called “acting commissioner” because you have to act like the scandal doesn’t involve the White House. ~ Jay Leno
A lot of critics are now comparing President Obama to President Nixon. The good news for Obama? At least he’s no longer being compared to President Carter. ~ Jay Leno
It has not been a good week for President Obama. You’ve got Benghazi, the IRS scandal, this AP records scandal, and, worst of all, his Chicago Bulls got eliminated by the Miami Heat. Do you know what that means? LeBron James is going to get audited by the IRS. ~ Jay Leno
Today the White House released 99 pages of emails on trouble in Benghazi — and one shirtless tweet from Anthony Weiner. ~ David Letterman
I was outside today for a little bit. I was sweating like President Obama at a press conference. ~ David Letterman
That last joke has been seized by the Department of Justice. ~ David Letterman
The IRS has a new boss after it came out they unfairly targeted tea party groups. The president says the new IRS chief is not only good with numbers, but he has more integrity than the last guy. It’s Bernie Madoff.~ Craig Ferguson
The White House admitted President Obama's chief of staff had advance warning that the IRS was targeting conservative groups. President Obama says the first time he heard about the IRS and AP scandals was from the media. See, that’s why President Obama holds press conferences. It’s not to explain what’s going on. It’s to find out what’s going on. ~ Jay Leno
"Here's the problem. When you get scandals in Washington -- like the IRS, Benghazi, and the FBI -- it really gets in the way of not getting things done. If they don't fix these crises pretty soon, honest to God, it could bring gridlock to a screeching halt." --David Letterman
"The IRS has admitted they were targeting conservative groups. President Obama called it outrageous and said he would immediately have his Benghazi investigators look into it." --Jay Leno
"Some Republicans are saying that due to his current scandals, President Obama should be impeached. In response, Obama laughed and said, 'Two words fellas: President Biden.'" --Conan O'Brien
"It was just revealed that the Department of Justice secretly recorded the phone calls of AP journalists for two months. Obama promised reporters that the incident will be immediately investigated -- by the Department of Justice." --Jimmy Fallon
"I love what IRS commissioner Steve Miller said today about this whole targeting conservative groups thing. He said, 'Mistakes were made, but they were in no way made with a political or partisan motivation.' Yeah, 'Mistakes were made' -- try saying THAT during your next IRS audit." --Jay Leno
"People always say this to me: 'Hey, Letterman,' they say. 'Why don't you make jokes about Obama?' All right, I'll tell you why. I don't make jokes about him because I don't want the FBI tapping my phone, that's why." --David Letterman
"This week marks the 40th anniversary of the Watergate hearings. For those of you too young to remember, back then the administration had an enemies list. They were spying on reporters, and they used the IRS to harass groups they didn't like. Thank God those days are gone forever." --Jay Leno
"This week will mark the 37th time House Republicans have tried to repeal Obamacare. If Republicans really wanted to do away with Obamacare they should just endorse it as a conservative non-profit and let the IRS take it down." --Jay Leno
"New Rule: Republicans trying to turn the Benghazi attacks into a scandal that taints Hillary Clinton's chances at a 2016 presidential run must realize that scandals don't weaken Hillary Clinton, they only make her stronger. Travelgate, the Rose Law Firm, Whitewater, Vince Foster, Monica Lewinsky...Hillary Clinton eats scandals for breakfast. If the Republicans keep this up she'll not only be President, she'll appoint Bill to the Supreme Court." --Bill Maher
I feel bad for Barack Obama. He's got the Benghazi scandal, the IRS scandal, and the FBI wiretapping phones. The president is in so much trouble politically, he's thinking about killing bin Laden again. ~ David Letterman
These scandals at the White House are just getting worse. It turns out that President Obama’s chief of staff knew about the scandal at the IRS three weeks before the president found out. Obama was like, "Anything else you guys aren't telling me?" And Joe Biden was like, "Uh . . . I broke the copier." ~ Jimmy Fallon
President Obama’s team knew about the IRS scandal but kept him in the dark about it. Or as Obama put it, "Guys, when I said 'no spoilers,' I was just talking about 'Game of Thrones.'" ~ Jimmy Fallon
I’m wondering if someone should start a Friday News Dump Prediction thread.
I predict something to do with Holder. Like a resignation.
The Fence Test
You can’t get any more accurate than this!
This is straight forward country thinking.
by Jeff Foxworthy
Which side of the political fence are you on?
If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
A Democrat demands that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because they’re “offended”.
Top 25 !!!!!!!!!
I KNOW MANY OF YOU (LIKE ME) ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO FOOTBALL SEASON. WELL, HERE’S A LITTLE RECAP OF LAST YEAR.........
Coincidence??
Just wondering!
Alabama beat Arkansas
and they fired the coach.
Alabama beat Tennessee
and they fired the coach.
Alabama beat Auburn
and they fired the coach.
Then Alabama beat Notre Dame and the Pope resigns...
Damn, I wish the White House had a team.
Yummm...salad....
That’s a good one!
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okay, okay, I got up late..... and read the thread before posting....
TGIF!!!
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/ Do you know why the cow jumped over the \
\ moon? The farmer had cold hands. /
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“Money & Corruption / I Am Your Man”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RLn2gMxqhA
We are sick and tired
Of being promised this and that.
We work all day, we sweat and slave
To keep the wealthy fat.
They fill our heads with promises
And bamboozle us with facts,
Then they put on false sincerity
Then they laugh behind our backs.
[Chorus:]
Money and Corruption
Are ruining the land
Crooked politicians
Betray the working man,
Pocketing the profits
And treating us like sheep,
And we’re tired of hearing promises
That we know they’ll never keep.
[Chorus]
Promises, promises, all we get are promises.
Show us a man who’ll understand us, guide us and lead us.
We are sick and tired
Of having to ask them cap in hand
We crawl on the floor
We beg for more,
But still we are ignored.
We’re tired of being herded
Like a mindless flock of sheep
And we’re tired of hearing promises
That we know they’ll never keep.
[Chorus]
We’ve got to stand together
Every woman, every man,
Because money and corruption are ruining the land.
Show us a man who’ll be our Saviour and will lead us.
Show us a man who’ll understand us, guide us and lead us.
Show us a man.
Workers of the nation unite.
Workers of the nation unite.
I visualise a day when people will be free
And we’ll be living in a new society.
No class distinction, no slums or poverty
I have a vision of a new society.
And every home will have a stereo and TV,
A deep freeze, quadrasonic and a washing machine.
So workers of the nation unite.
I am your man
I’ll work out a five-year plan
So vote for me brothers
And I will save this land
And we will nationalise the wealthy companies
And all the directors will be answerable to me,
There’ll be no shirking of responsibilities
So people of the nation unite.
Union Man I’ll work with you hand in hand
For we’re all brothers to our Union Man.
I am your man,
Oh God how I love this land,
So join together save the Fatherland.
I visualize a day when people will be free
And we’ll be living in a new society.
No class distinction, no slums or poverty,
So workers of the nation unite,
Workers of the nation unite,
People of the nation unite.
A salad for you.
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