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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 03/15/2013 5:42:17 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 5 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadnt rolled itself outside. It certainly hadnt killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadnt even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and its the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well Im off to check on my spoons. I hear theyre making people fat.
(This is meant to make a point, not to be a literal representation of events. No gun was actually left unattended, just as no spoons were actually checked on. If you cannot grasp this, then you are more dense than the metal the gun is made from. Thank you.)
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: guns; insanity; ofst; silliness
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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To: envisio
Hey we menz is talking about wimmenz clothing and the lack thereof over here.
61
posted on
03/15/2013 7:37:11 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: envisio; najida
najida... now there’s a name I haven’t seen in a long time.
62
posted on
03/15/2013 7:37:40 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: najida
Doh!
61 was for you.
“Hey we menz is talking about wimmenz clothing and the lack thereof over here.”
63
posted on
03/15/2013 7:38:07 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: envisio; absolootezer0
He’s not following the rewells! Mr. Moderator, you have to stop him. He’s not following the rewells!!!
64
posted on
03/15/2013 7:38:22 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: Lucky9teen
On Saint Patrick's Day, an Irishman who had a little to much to drink was driving home from the city and his car was weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulled him over. "So," said the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
65
posted on
03/15/2013 7:39:45 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
To: r-q-tek86
Your post wasnt there either. I really should refresh before I start posting. Is that anything like taking a leak before grabbing another beer?
66
posted on
03/15/2013 7:41:15 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: ArGee
67
posted on
03/15/2013 7:41:22 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: Lucky9teen
Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the beer when a severed head rolled along the ground. Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy "Jez, that looks like Sean"
To which Paddy replied "No Sean is taller than that"
68
posted on
03/15/2013 7:42:01 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
To: envisio
Hey we menz is talking about wimmenz clothing and the lack thereof over here. And, apparently, one of us wants a bar fight. ;)
69
posted on
03/15/2013 7:42:24 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: envisio
But when you spells it dat way, it doesn’t has the ap-PROP-ree-ate accent, donchano.
Ennyhoo, it’s impawtant ta folla da rewells.
70
posted on
03/15/2013 7:44:16 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: ArGee
Is that anything like taking a leak before grabbing another beer?Sadly, it's more like taking a leak before you unzip
71
posted on
03/15/2013 7:45:35 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: ArGee
I see RG is getting an early start on St Patricks Day.
72
posted on
03/15/2013 7:47:34 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Its on like Donkey Kong!!)
To: All
Three Irish women were walking home one night when they noticed a man passed out under a cart. His upper body was underneath the cart but his kilt and legs were extending out into the sidewalk.
The first woman says, "I wonder who he is?" With no other option to identify him, she discretely lifts the kilt and says, "Och, at least it's not my Angus."
The second woman discretely lifts the kilt and says, "Tank de Virgin, it's not my Paddie."
The third woman discretely lifts the kilt and says, "Ladies, he's not even from our village."
73
posted on
03/15/2013 7:47:54 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: N. Theknow
In preparation for this week-end, I had new locks installed...
74
posted on
03/15/2013 7:48:35 AM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
To: ArGee
Is that anything like taking a leak before grabbing another beer?
only if you re-post the same image on a different page.
75
posted on
03/15/2013 7:48:48 AM PDT
by
absolootezer0
(2x divorced tattooed pierced harley hatin meghan mccain luvin' REAL beer drinkin' smoker ..what?)
To: envisio
I see RG is getting an early start on St Patricks Day. It's St. Patrick's Day????
Good heavens! It is.
So sorry, I was busy finishing my celebration of Pi Day. Let me turn the calendar over and get cranking!!!
76
posted on
03/15/2013 7:49:02 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers; Old Sarge
The recoil seems to have blown most of her clothing off! Looks like the mods didn't like that .gif in #11....
77
posted on
03/15/2013 7:49:35 AM PDT
by
Arrowhead1952
(A pen in the hand of 0 bummer more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million citizens.)
To: absolootezer0
78
posted on
03/15/2013 7:50:24 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
To: envisio
no.. an early start to st patty’s day means you start drinking for st patty’s day at 6:29am on march 18th.
79
posted on
03/15/2013 7:52:13 AM PDT
by
absolootezer0
(2x divorced tattooed pierced harley hatin meghan mccain luvin' REAL beer drinkin' smoker ..what?)
To: envisio
I see RG is getting an early start on St Patricks Day. Singing.
Loudly.
And off key!
I'm a rambler an' a gambler an' a long way from home.
An' if ya dinna like me, well leave me alone.
I'll eat when 'm hungry and drink when 'm dry.
An' if moonshine dinna kill me I'll live 'till I die.
I've been a moonshiner for many a year.
I've spent all me money on whiskey and beer.
Now bless all moonshiners and bless all moonshine.
Their breath smells as sweet as the dew on the vine.
Put that in the pot at the end of yer rainbow, lads!
80
posted on
03/15/2013 7:54:41 AM PDT
by
ArGee
(An open mind is like an open window - if you don't have a screen, you get flies.)
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