Posted on 01/06/2013 12:00:02 AM PST by MacMattico
Please say a Prayer for my mother.
I don't think I've ever asked some one to pray for some one else before, but she's in a tough spot. If it is her time to go it will hurt terribly, but as Catholics and the fact that she is the most caring, loving person I have ever met, I know we will meet again in a better place.
I'm also extremely upset with the hospital, and I don't want this to happen to others.
On the day after Christmas, my mother was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with Pneumonia. They also told us her kidneys were not functioning very well, but not end stage or where she needed dialysis or anything like that. Her lungs had a lot of fluid in them. Fast forward four days and they said the fluid was gone as well as any sign of infection. But my mother was still mostly unresponsive and wanted to sleep all of the time. My sisters and I have been able to wake her on occasion and she will talk with us for a few minutes before going back to sleep. When she had the fluid in the lungs, they did not provide hydration as they said she couldn't handle it, antibiotics were intravenously given. So, obviously, at least to me, when they said the fluid was gone and infection cleared up, I expected to see the IV fluids begin, but they didn't. I demanded hydration be started and every excuse was given to me: she didn't need it, she woke up and drank enough,( not true, my sister and/or I were there hour after hour and she wasn't drinking). I asked the doctor if he were trying to kill her -- it was going on 3-4 days with no adequate fluids. I told him my mother was Catholic and would not want to die from dehydration and starvation-- that was her biggest fear. He then said she couldn't handle it. I said I was going to speak with an attorney if she didn't have IV hydration when I came back in an hour. I came back in an hour and she had three bags of fluids and basically sugar water hooked up to her IV. She has been on this ever sense, no problems. And of course her kidney function improved with fluids, obviously. You can't urinate without fluid!
Now we are well over a week and my mother has barely eaten. My family inquired into ways of feeding her, a tube through the nose, feeding tube, intervenously. The doctor absolutely refuses saying her organs can't handle it! I said if your telling us she's going to die anyway due to organ failure, we want some nutrition provided. He refused and said she can go without food much longer, but I reminded him she knows what is said to her, responds, and I had called the nursing home where she had been staying (because she had trouble getting around and making meals and taking her medication on time), and they said she wasn't eating well for approximately two weeks. So we're going on three weeks with little to no food intake! The hospital refuses to feed her ! My mother is weak and has diabetes-- I can't see how trying nutrition after all this time could hurt her any more! I argued with the doctor and he refuses to follow our wishes-- a nurse even tried to change her DNR which only indicated she didn't want CPR! I caught her and threatened her with calling the police as the whole family has seen the dnr and knows what's on it. I guess the doctors argument is because she is on oxygen at night it would make it easier for her to bring up any liquid in her stomach and choke to death and that her organs can't handle it-- yet he keeps saying "maybe next week" like she's going to get better! I really think he just wants her to die as quickly as possible, and it's killing me she is not being fed. He almost went ballistic when another doctor checked her out and she knew it was January, her name and that Obama was President-- she even rolled her eyes at the name Obama! He wanted to tell us she was brain dead or close to it, I honestly think. I don't know what to do. He's says she may choke at night with the intense oxygen mask they give her and her organs can't take food right now, yet the nurses had me trying to feed her from a tray yesterday! She took only one bite and fell asleep. I don't know what to do! The doctor acts like a feeding tube will be torture, I think starvation is. There are no family members that disagree with me. Our family Priest has says she has a right to hydration and nutrition, the doctor says no nutrition "in her condition" which he constantly changes. She is on Medicare (although with the best supplemental money can buy) and I think the death panels have begun.
Mac, I’m so very sorry for your loss, for what you’ve all had to go through.
I’ll pray for you and your family..
Sorry to hear of your loss. Prayers for you and your family.
I am so very sorry for your loss. She is in Gods Loving Arms now and in no pain. Condolences to your family. {{{Prayers}}}
Logan’s Prayer Warriors...Mac’s Mom went Home to be with the Lord. Please pray....
BTTT
BTTT
I’m sorry to hear this. Keeping you and your family in my prayers. ((((MacMattico)))
Oh, Mac.. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your siblings were such loving, kind, caring, committed children. Your Mom was blessed with such wonderful children. I know not all parents have that. I know this is very hard for you because of the circumstances with the hospital and your Mom’s care. Please know this: your Mom is happy now. She is with Our Lord and with her loved ones that went before her. She is no longer in pain or ill. Believe me, she wouldn’t want her passing to permanently affect you in a negative way. She would want you to go on, be happy, make her proud, live a good life and love/be loved. I believe that is what all Moms want for their children (young or old.. you are still her baby).
I remember when my Mom was dying. I stayed at the hospital with her for two straight days. My brothers couldn’t “take it” so they and their wives simply stayed home and left this final care giving to me. No calls.. just a demand that I inform them when it “was done”. At the end, she just wouldn’t stop. Her agonial respirations made it so difficult for her and they couldn’t increase the morphine (because it would kill her (?)). She was in obvious distress and there was nothing that I could do. Finally, I whispered to her to “go to your Dad. He’s waiting right there.. can you see him? You’re just going around the corner, Mom, and we will all be there is a short time”. With the whispering of the last word, she passed. I will always know that her Dad did come and get her and she left this world knowing she just went “around the corner”. That’s how I choose to see death.. they aren’t gone but just around the corner. We’ll see them again and oh, the joy, laughing, hugging we will have. Hugs and God Bless, Mac.
Dear FRiend, we are so sorry for your loss... You did everything you could for her, and feel sure she knew.
She is at last, at peace with the Lord, and it is our fervent prayer that you too will find comfort in His tender care.
May God hold you close in this sad time.
Tatt
I will continue to pray for your Mom and your family. One way to look at this may be that Jesus is calling his own home so they don’t have to suffer what’s comming at the hands of the evil that is this Gov’t and its operatives intend to unleash upon an unsuspecting US. They can’t hurt her now.
I’m so sorry for your loss and join with all the others here lifting you and the loved ones up to God for His peace, blessing and guidance as you deal with your mother’s homegoing.
You tried your best MacMattico.Your Mother sounds like a wonderful person and she will always be with you.We will keep your family in prayer (((Hugs)))Fatima
I am so very sorry for your loss and pray that the Lord’s comfort surrounds you and your family. We’re here for you if you ever need to talk. God bless.
Oh dear, I am so sorry to hear your mother passed. My sincere sympathy to you and your family - you all did your best. May God grant her eternal salvation with Him. God Bless you!
It doesn't say that we won't sorrow, after all we are human. But we are to keep in mind our Blessed Hope in Christ. You will be re-united with your mom and that's all that really matters.
I understand that you are both grieving for your mom and mad at the treatment she got. I'm not trying to tell you what I would do in your situation, I cannot imagine what it must be like. But I feel compelled to remind you of Paul's words in Romans 12: 19 --> Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord. Your mom will get justice and that's a fact.
So unnecessary, but it shows Obamacare in action.
When my father was in his late 60’s he was hospitalized for dehydration.
When I got to the hospital (100 miles away) the first thing the doctor asked me is if I wanted them to pull the plug.
I told him no, and they started treating him.
He soon left the hospital and lived another 10 years or so, well into his seventies.
This was about 25 years ago.
It wasn't mandatory to let old patients die back then, but it seems it is now.
Prayers of comfort and peace to you and your family.
Deepest condolences to you and your family for the loss of your beloved mother. She sounds like a wonderful woman.
The questionable practices you described were in place in hospitals long before the current president took office. So many families have had those same arguments with doctors about their loved ones, even before Obama was even a candidate. When two doctors at a hospital gave treatment to my father, the other doctors and nurses reported them to an “ethics board.”
But there must be a special place in Heaven for your mother and father and my father and all of the people like them who have gone before us. May their souls be at peace forever.
Condolences and prayers for pece of heart for you and your family.
MacMattico:
I am so sorry for you and your family.
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