Posted on 01/06/2013 12:00:02 AM PST by MacMattico
Please say a Prayer for my mother.
I don't think I've ever asked some one to pray for some one else before, but she's in a tough spot. If it is her time to go it will hurt terribly, but as Catholics and the fact that she is the most caring, loving person I have ever met, I know we will meet again in a better place.
I'm also extremely upset with the hospital, and I don't want this to happen to others.
On the day after Christmas, my mother was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with Pneumonia. They also told us her kidneys were not functioning very well, but not end stage or where she needed dialysis or anything like that. Her lungs had a lot of fluid in them. Fast forward four days and they said the fluid was gone as well as any sign of infection. But my mother was still mostly unresponsive and wanted to sleep all of the time. My sisters and I have been able to wake her on occasion and she will talk with us for a few minutes before going back to sleep. When she had the fluid in the lungs, they did not provide hydration as they said she couldn't handle it, antibiotics were intravenously given. So, obviously, at least to me, when they said the fluid was gone and infection cleared up, I expected to see the IV fluids begin, but they didn't. I demanded hydration be started and every excuse was given to me: she didn't need it, she woke up and drank enough,( not true, my sister and/or I were there hour after hour and she wasn't drinking). I asked the doctor if he were trying to kill her -- it was going on 3-4 days with no adequate fluids. I told him my mother was Catholic and would not want to die from dehydration and starvation-- that was her biggest fear. He then said she couldn't handle it. I said I was going to speak with an attorney if she didn't have IV hydration when I came back in an hour. I came back in an hour and she had three bags of fluids and basically sugar water hooked up to her IV. She has been on this ever sense, no problems. And of course her kidney function improved with fluids, obviously. You can't urinate without fluid!
Now we are well over a week and my mother has barely eaten. My family inquired into ways of feeding her, a tube through the nose, feeding tube, intervenously. The doctor absolutely refuses saying her organs can't handle it! I said if your telling us she's going to die anyway due to organ failure, we want some nutrition provided. He refused and said she can go without food much longer, but I reminded him she knows what is said to her, responds, and I had called the nursing home where she had been staying (because she had trouble getting around and making meals and taking her medication on time), and they said she wasn't eating well for approximately two weeks. So we're going on three weeks with little to no food intake! The hospital refuses to feed her ! My mother is weak and has diabetes-- I can't see how trying nutrition after all this time could hurt her any more! I argued with the doctor and he refuses to follow our wishes-- a nurse even tried to change her DNR which only indicated she didn't want CPR! I caught her and threatened her with calling the police as the whole family has seen the dnr and knows what's on it. I guess the doctors argument is because she is on oxygen at night it would make it easier for her to bring up any liquid in her stomach and choke to death and that her organs can't handle it-- yet he keeps saying "maybe next week" like she's going to get better! I really think he just wants her to die as quickly as possible, and it's killing me she is not being fed. He almost went ballistic when another doctor checked her out and she knew it was January, her name and that Obama was President-- she even rolled her eyes at the name Obama! He wanted to tell us she was brain dead or close to it, I honestly think. I don't know what to do. He's says she may choke at night with the intense oxygen mask they give her and her organs can't take food right now, yet the nurses had me trying to feed her from a tray yesterday! She took only one bite and fell asleep. I don't know what to do! The doctor acts like a feeding tube will be torture, I think starvation is. There are no family members that disagree with me. Our family Priest has says she has a right to hydration and nutrition, the doctor says no nutrition "in her condition" which he constantly changes. She is on Medicare (although with the best supplemental money can buy) and I think the death panels have begun.
Prayers lifted.
Hi all, I’m on my phone so please excuse my mistakes. We spoke with three different doctors and got three different answers! I called St. Joseph’s where she would want to be and they said their ICU is filled and even if it wasn’t they wouldn’t transfer her because both hospitals offer the same level of care. This really hurt me, as they are the Catholic hospital that said they would probably give her a feeding tube, dependingon her prognosis, which they said if she was still in ICU they would. Which she is. I’ll tell every one —she’s at Crouse. We’ve always had good care there before. A nurse told me if she were not in ICU she would be fed per our wishes! But ICU does its own thing. One of the doctors said she’ll be fed if we have her moved only to comfort care, in other words ready to die. Another doctor says she would choke on any food, one says her organs would shut down if we made digestion work! Yet they had me trying to feed herby tray yyesterday! They offered a second opinion but only with a doctor with their hospital! Gee, what do you think they’d say? More later..,
Three iv bags? What is going in? Drip morphine?
Do not ever leave a family member alone at the hosptial at any time.
Keeping up the prayers here.
Please contact the Terri Schiavo Life & Hope Network. They are experienced with this.
We also pray, Lord, that Thou purgest those in the medical profession who work in the interest of death from American hospitals, and those who advocate for death from American government.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, in the company of saints in Heaven, amen.
Prayers Sent.
God Bless
Don’t stop pushing, sweetie.
When my mom was sick I was actually stopping janitors in the hallway, asking for advice. I was finally directed to an angel who moved heaven and earth to save her, in every way possible.
And yes... call lawyers. Don’t give up.
If she doesn’t make it, it is always G-d’s will to bring her home; but if you do everything possible, YOU can rest in peace, knowing that you did what you could.
Prayers said!
Such good info. on this thread.
I hope I’m knowledgeable enough to know when I can trust a doctor’s judgment if one of my loved ones is very ill.
But we know that HYDRATION is a MUST!
God give you help. God grant healing for your Mom. God send one of His Holy Angels to kick the Doctors...backside.
Logan’s Prayer Warriors, Mac updated in post #103.
AND, somewhere on this thread *someone* posted this link for EACH of us to use...
http://www.nrlc.org/euthanasia/willtolive/StatesList.html
Mac, heartfelt prayers from all of us.
Oh, GOD HELP HER, and help us all from the wrong decisions, made by hospital staff, be it housekeeping, nurses, attendants, anesthesiologists, doctors.
Prayers are going up this very moment, Mac, and will continue.
How disturbing. Prayers continue...
Prayers on the way.
this could be an inappropriate stoppage of food and water, but she also could have multiple organ shutdown, and the doctors don’t want to prolong her dying.
I had a similar patient with azotemia (bad kidneys), a high ammonia level (from the liver not working), a lot of pain (from very bad circulation to her feet due to diabetes) and a bad heart.
The patient kept pulling out her IV’s and had refused dialysis when her mind was clear, so we discussed it and decided to let her eat and only give her antibiotics. The family kept watch with her and she died a few weeks later.
In your mom’s case, check if she is on anything that could make her sleepy, including seizure medicines and pain medicine. Why is she sleepy? Did she have a stroke?
Then wake her up and feed her by mouth.
An alternative to IV fluid is a short term feeding tube, which can be placed via laporoscopy right into her stomach.
Long term IV feeding leads to malnutrition, and giving protein via the IV is a bit tricky in a diabetic or elderly person.
The bad news is that often a “NO CPR” or a “DNR” order is now read as “no treatment”...
When I came back to her room around 6:00 from getting a drink and snack, her breathing had turned very labored and they had given her what they said was a “small amount” of morphine. Her respiration grew shallower by the minute and by 8:40 she took her last breath with my two sisters, our husbands and nieces by her side. The rest of my family doesn't want an autopsy saying she is now at peace. I just can't help but wonder if nutrition over the last weeks may have saved her organ function.
She was an absolutely wonderful woman you would all have loved, kind , caring, humorous, but also tough when she had to be. Everybody who knew her loved her. She would do anything for you.
After the Priest prayed with us we sat with her for a while and talked, trying to remember the good times but feeling the pain. I feel she's in a much better place now and hopefully is once again with my Dad, neither one of them in pain.
Please everyone, put your wishes in writing, keep copies for family members and have a health care proxy. Even then I don't know if this will save us from new hospital rules. I really don't know how much morphine was given to her at the end, and even the doctor was surprised when she stopped breathing so suddenly. It makes one wonder.
I’m sorry for your loss.
It’s hard watching your mom die over the course of weeks.
Been there, done that.
I’ll be keeping you and your family in my prayers.
You Mother is at peace and in the comfort of Our Lord. Talk to her in your prayers, mentally hold her hand, and tell her that you love her, and that you want her to be at peace. And please, do take care of yourself and don't become run-down. You and your Mother are in my prayers...you both are surrounded by many who are praying.
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