Image: Dilbert.com
Posted on 12/29/2011 9:32:50 AM PST by Pharmboy
Image: Dilbert.com
We are nearly at the end of 2011 and another year of mayhem behind. We will be judging our 2011 Non-Predictions and trying to dream up some new ones for 2012 in the next fortnight or so but this week we have been able to get some long needed admin done.
With it came a realisation that even if the financial industry is suffering, the creative management community has been in full swing dreaming up new terms and phrases to camouflage the blindingly obvious.
The evolution of ‘management speak’ means some phrases die and some survive and flourish. TMM really doesn't know what determines the success of one term or phrase over another other than, as with the arts, adoption and patronage by the most respected in the field. TMM hope that this year’s rash of newcomers all die off naturally but we would like to help with a shove into their deserved obscurity.
(Excerpt) Read more at businessinsider.com ...
My husband says “out-of-pocket” when he means “unavailable.” I think it must have originated with a non-native speaker of English.
“My ask of you ...” is an interesting one.
That one and “reach out” take tops for me.
The ultimate for me was in 94 when I saw the following on a slide outlining TQM in the USAF
“Utilize Interdepartmental Process Action Teams to minimize waste and suboptimization.”
My retirement date was in 98 and it couldn’t come soon enough after seeing that.
It caused me severe “Issues”
Well, when you clean your guns in your car parked in the company parking lot, it can have that effect...
“Human Capital” is a new one that just flat out gives me the willies...
1- My “take away” message (What is wrong with “my message”? Can't we assume that the message will be “taken” if it is worth taking.)
2- In response to my requests, customer service people have recently started using the phrase, “No Problem.”
It drives me crazy! I'm requesting that you do something for me and you say, “no problem.” Was there a potential problem I didn't know about that has just be avoided? I thought you were here to solve my problem. So, yes there is a problem...don't deny it...fix it.
3- I HATE it when grocery store clerks (and EVERYONE ELSE I encounter) ask me “How are you.” First I didn't come into your store to have a complete stranger ask me such an intimate and personal question in front of other strangers. I do not have or am not looking for a relationship with you. Why are you asking about my general state of being.
4- Then the BAGBOY tells me to “have a nice day.” What are you..my life coach. Oh thanks for reminding me bagboy. I was completely miserable until you reminded me to have a nice day. Now everything is rosy. What ever happened to a simple “Thank You.”
No. Nothing to do with DoD language.
LoL....f-u-n-n-y! Pretty much says the is of it.
Perfect definition! I think I'm going to use "frustrated resignation" from now on when I hear "it is what it is".
BTW... Thank you so very much for your service to our country... and the men who you led. We are so very proud of you!
Never any problems - only "challenges".
I always thought "issues" = "complications", ie., they're the same thing?
We had a CEO who was a master of Business LINGO - so we created a game called BLINGO. Made up BLINGO cards containing his catchphrases and the management lingo of the day. Usually played the game while listening to his presentations over the phone. One day, while he was opining to a couple of hundred of us in a cafeteria “all hands” meeting, some joker in the back called out “BLINGO!” when he crossed out the words on his card.
This CEO either created or stole the word “coopetition”. We rolled our collective eyes at that and immediately concluded that cooperating with your competition would lead to someone being coopulated.
He also participated in “sollatio” - the act of blowing sunshine up our collective derrieres.
Good question. In the colloquial sense, that may be so. But an "issue" in the business sense (and in my world as a business analyst and project manager) represents a potential area of concern that is recognized by one or more employees because it might affect quality, productivity, or both.
Complexity, on the other hand, is a feature of systemic organization. A problem, that when defined, analyzed and measured is limited in impact (i.e. - lacks complexity) and can be improved and controlled by minimal effort and cost is not an "issue" in the sense of requiring systemic change. Those that have relatively high impacts and expenses are "issues" subject to remedial efforts.
I use this model as a means of helping businesses to both qualify and quantify potential sources of waste, and to assist management in making decisions about how to allocate finite resources.
Oh geez...you win: “No problem” instead of “You’re welcome” is, IMO, the WORST bastardization of language in the last two decades. I have, on occasion, said, “was there a problem?” That is the one that make me crazy...
Seriously, where did we get “reach out”? I started hearing it about four years ago from a Canadian coworker...Figured it was Canadianspeak.
I hated it the first time I heard it...probably about 8 years ago in NYC. It is more touchy-feely than “Let’s call him up” and as Rush might say, part of the chickification of the culture.
People who come to your cubicle and say “Knock, Knock”
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