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Posted on 08/01/2011 2:29:55 AM PDT by JustAmy
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Hi! I sure do....nearly as much as I loved playing in boxes
when I was a little kid! LOL!
It wasn’t bad today considering that it’s tax-free weekend.
We don’t participate ourselves, but the mall and the parking
lot were full! Good for business, though! :)
I once woke up a student who had fallen asleep at his computer.
The keyboard was imprinted upon his face.
He had to wear “the Mark” for several days before it finally faded.
I can understand how it happened. LOL.
All I can say is........your sooooooooooooooo kind!!
Good to see me, too!! LOL!! Just slap me silly!!
How Ya Doin ?? Fine, I hope!!
Poor kitty!! We all are coming to the rescue!!
Know it’s late, but wanted to say “Happy Caturday”! :)
Lamh Foistenach Abu!
Well...how silly do ya wannabe? ;)
I'm doin'! :)
Chemo & Rad 6 times a week. Boy o Boy.
Good morning
We were having an impromptu Bible study the other morning at the office and I pulled out one of my favorite quotes, Mark 12, 15-17.
“Jesus said unto them, bring me a denarius,
that I may see it. And they brought it. And
he saith unto them, Whose is this image and
superscription? And they said unto him,
Caesar’s. And Jesus said unto them, Render
unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s,
and unto God the things that are God’s.
And they marvelled greatly at him.”
I just love that language. I think it’s a shame that nobody talks like this anymore.
“Hollywood police used “non-lethal bean bags” to control a crowd that was rioting. Is there such a thing as lethal bean bags? If the riot escalated, they were authorized to switch to Marshmallow Peeps.” -Jimmy Kimmel
***
“The three great advancements of mankind were harnessing fire, inventing the wheel and the Slap Chop.” -Craig Ferguson
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
A man standing in line at a check out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when a very attractive woman behind him said, “Hello!” Her face was beaming.
He gave her that “who are you look,” and couldn’t remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a mistake and apologized.
“Look,” she said “I’m really sorry but when I first saw you, I thought you were the father of one of my children,” and walked out of the store.
The guy was dumbfounded and thought to himself, “What is the world coming to? Here is an attractive woman who can’t keep track of who fathers her children!”
Then he got a little panicky. “I don’t remember her,” he thought, but MAYBE..during one of the fraternity parties he had been to when he was in college, perhaps he did father her child! He ran from the store and caught her in the parking lot and asked, “Are you the girl I met at a party in college and then we had a little too much to drink and spent the night together but I never called you again afterward?”
“No”, she said with a horrified look on her face. “I’m your son’s Sunday School teacher.”
The tourist in London climbed into a cab and noticed by the license that his cab driver’s name was “Winston Churchill.” Trying to make conversation, he said, “I see your name is Winston Churchill.”
The driver simply said, “Yep. That’s my moniker.”
The passenger, not willing to give up yet on some banter said, “That’s a pretty famous name.”
The driver responded with: “As well it should be too. I’ve been driving a cab here for over thirty years.”
Last Name Only
The manager of a large office noticed one of his department heads had hired a new man, so the boss called him into his office for a little orientation speech. “What is your name?” he asked.
“John,” the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last names only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”
The new guy sighed and said, “Darling. John Darling.”
“Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is.
In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: “That’s the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger.”
“Then I don’t want it,” retorted the customer. “I certainly can’t afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat!”
“I’d like the number for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the young man said to the 411 operator.
“There are multiple listings for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the operator said. “Do you have a street name?”
The young man hesitated a moment,
“Well, uh, most people call me Snake.”
Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, “Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill.”
Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense.
Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called his brother again to find out what was going on.
“Well,” said the other brother, “you said to do something nice for Dad. So I rented him a tuxedo.”
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