We are light years beyond merely shooting out your eye...
Posted on 11/10/2010 8:43:21 PM PST by Bean Counter
Costco has had Christmas stuff out for a month now, and since Halloween is past, but Thanksgiving is still ahead, I think it is time to start thinking about the most irresponsible or dangerous toy selections of the Season for 2010.
What is your favorite submission for the one item that will make Personal Injury Attorneys slaver at the sight of it...??
What is the most outrageous item to threaten little Johnny on Christmas morning this year?
Bring back clackers!
"You'll put your eye out!"
SNL Transcripts:
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/77/77dconsumerprobe.phtml
My guest tonight is Mr. Irwin Mainway, President of Mainway Novelties, and Chairman of the Board of Mainway Latex Corporation. Mr. Mainway, you are clearly the main flagrant offender in this area. For instance, your company manufactures and distributes this Halloween costume.. [ picks it up and holds it ] ..Johnny Space Commander mask, which retails for $6.95. It’s nothing more than a plastic bag and a rubber band. This is very dangerous for young children!
Irwin Mainway: [ grabs the costume ] Okay, I’m gonna say something about my product right here, Johnny Space Commander mask. I want to say, first of all, it’s a very fluid item, in terms of sales. I don’t know, Miss Face, if you’re familiar with the movie “Star Wars”? Well, this movie has generated a tremendous amount of popularity and enthusiasm about space and science fiction. [ rips open the costume packaging ] This Johnny Space Commander mask here is a pure fantasy toy. I mean, you know, kids can have a lot of fun with a toy like this, you know? Let me show you.. [ puts the plastic bag over his head, then wraps the rubber band around it ] “Hello, hello, this is Johnny Space Commander. I’m in deep space, I’m gonna land the rocket now!” You see what I mean? [ takes off the plastic bag ] You see what I mean? It’s a pure fantasy toy!
I nominate bicycles as the greatest invention for injuring children ever devised.
Heck we drew a big S on a sheet and tried to fly off our garage when I was a kid. The fall didn’t hurt nearly as much as by backside when my mom saw it was a good sheet.
Here’s some classics from Irwin Mainway:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/115713/saturday-night-live-irwin-mainway
I rode bikes thousands of miles and never had a scratch.
Now, a skateboard.....
Not even close to monkey bars.
The most dangerous irresponsible toy for 2010 is hands down the printing press located at the Federal Reserve.
Buyer beware and beware even more as it comes from China.
What? You didn’t jump from the garage roof with an umbrella for a parachute?
I would have "flown" to my death while holding my trusty (shoot yer eye out) BB gun.
I never did ANYTHING dangerous and stupid in a half ass manner.
That's EASY! Not just for toys, but for anything in OpenProof Packaging™
My guest tonight is Mr. Irwin Mainway...
I always liked the “Bag-O-Glass”!
Wasn’t into Mary Poppins.. :)
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