Do Not Mock Your Co-Worker's Tiny P_n_s While Testing Full-Body Scanners

The consumerist ^ | May 7, 2010 | Laura Northrup

[KeyLargo]

Do Not Mock Your Co-Worker's Tiny Penis While Testing Full-Body Scanners

By Laura Northrup on May 7, 2010 11:10 AM

If you've been wondering how much of your body airport full-body scanners actually do reveal, a recent TSA training session in Miami shows the answer: enough for your co-workers to mock the size of your genitals. The target of the mockery eventually found it unbearable, and police say that he "could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind," attacking one of his colleagues in the parking lot. He was arrested for aggravated battery.

From the police report:

"The investigation revealed that the [suspect] was upset after a training with "Whole Body Image" machine. The X-Ray revealed [the suspect] has a small penis and co-workers made fun of him on a daily basis. [He] stated he could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind. ”

[anymouse]

Quartermaster Clerk: [Returns Austin's personal effects after the reanimation process] One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump.
Austin: [To Vanessa, frantically] That's not mine.
Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger, signed by Austin Powers.
Austin: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine!
Clerk: [Beginning to get annoyed over the monotony] One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.
Austin: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!
Clerk: One book, "Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: (This Sort of Thing Is My Bag, Baby)", by Austin Powers.
Austin: [Gaping] Ah.
Clerk: Just sign the form.

[KeyLargo]

[ravingnutter]

NDBF?

(Warning: Outrageous Fortune movie reference, foul language advisory)

[NavyCanDo]

If these full body scanners can display detail like that, someone please explain to me why you would want to send your Wife through them, or your 14 year old daughter or son. I don’t care what extra level of security they provide - there is a line of personal privacy we should never cross.

[jessduntno]

AAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MY EYES...............MY EYES!

[Sacajaweau]

Maybe the room was real, real cold...

Was his name George??

[printhead]

We rock stars are packin’ armadillos in our trousers.

[ArmyTeach]

Someone suggested that a harassment suit might be brought
against this guy’s colleagues ... maybe not a bad idea. Might improve the level of professionalism.
Long term, these porn boxes need to go away. This proves that they are more revealing than we are supposed to realize.

[Sacajaweau]

Is that real or a stick of dynamite??

[Stormdog]

I have a serious question. How much can these scanners see? For instance, if someone swallows drug balloons or inserts something in a body cavity, will these machines pick them up?

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

Small penis guy stands (ahem) to make a fortune, from a “hostile workplace” lawsuit. Then, size won’t matter.

[proud American in Canada]

Apparently they can’t pick up material inside the body. From the Boston Globe:

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/editorials/articles/2010/01/10/full_body_scanners_are_a_help_but_no_panacea/

[jessduntno]

“Apparently they can’t pick up material inside the body. From the Boston Globe:”

All of which makes this just as effective as giving granny a cavity search...I hate these stupid bstrds in power.

[proud American in Canada]

I have serious reservations about flying to Chicago to see my father, about subjecting my son and daughter to this.

[jessduntno]

“I have serious reservations about flying to Chicago to see my father, about subjecting my son and daughter to this.”

I put it on a par with going to Mexico...

[Pharmboy]

Lemmetellya: If I were on that jury, this guy is NOT GUILTY. If they razzed him once and he asked them to stop, and then they kept it up anyway, they deserved a beat down. Fightin’ words...

[varyouga]

I have a serious question. How much can these scanners see? For instance, if someone swallows drug balloons or inserts something in a body cavity, will these machines pick them up?

No. It does not penetrate beyond the skin.

A bomb slightly larger than a white-out bottle can take out a plane and can easily be hidden, ahem, "under" the skin.

The difficulty of obtaining plastic explosives has prevented more bombings than the scanners ever will. Even so, I suspect these types of bombings have happened far more often than officials are willing to admit.

[a fool in paradise]

Sign next to the x-ray screen:

“Thou shalt not giggle”

[Howie]

NO!

[Joe Boucher]

Better to have a little weiner than be like obammy and have no weiner, nor balls.