http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-wf2pP7T0Y&feature=related
Posted on 02/11/2010 12:16:54 PM PST by HamiltonJay
I am looking to collect some dumb sayings for a project, so if can you please take a minute to send me the dumbest or silliest thing a superior or boss has said to you at work, (any job, not just here, and no don't name names).
Nothing that requires a backstory to it, just simple one or two sentence statements that you have been told over the years that in and of themselves have made you shake your head, stare at them in awe, spit your coke out your nose, or whatever.
Thanks
Marking for the hilarity to be found later!
“You know what you need, little lady... And I can provide it...”
The third time he said it, I made good on my threat and turned him in for harassment.
My supervisor’s supervisor called me and asked me to get my supervisor to do some work. What?!
I once had a boss suggest that we (2 or 3 guys writing engineering software) call Microsoft to see if they would help us with a bug.
“You weren’t authorized to punch him”.
Performance review time...We have changed from a 5 point system (1-5) to a 3 point system because in the old system, no one ever got a 1 or a 5. So I giving you a 2+. I can’t really give you a 3 because no one ever gets a 3.
“Welcome aboard!”
“I don’t pay you to think!”
“We don’t have enough people to do cross-training.”
“I’ve updated the new action item list; I added a 63a and 82a and b”.
30 years ago, I had finished my degree and was accepting a promotion from Electronics Technician to Engineer.
The HR Rep had the nerve to suggest I take a pay cut for the transfer, because “...it offered more growth opportunity and, well, your single and don’t have a family to support or anything.”......?!?!?
(Fortunately, when I conveyed this to the hiring manager, he took care of me.)
Probably not the context you had in mind, but I still found it stupid. :)
“Because of the economy, we are reducing your pay and taking away your accumulated vacation pay.”
Once, while working with my mom, she called me a son of a bitch. That seemed dumb.
Had some customers that were wishy washy on a sale. Figured a little cut on the price would sell the product. So I went to the new boss, who can and has the sole authority to authorize discounts for the department.
Me to boss: Hey can I give these customers a 10% discount to make this sale.
Boss: No because that would be an unauthorized discount and you’ll be fired for it.
Really? A simple “no, not today” would have been fine, or if you said “yes” then it wouldn’t be “unauthorized”.
Old boss would have at least looked up the product and said something like “No margin is too low, but try 5%”.
(to the entire group, gathered for his first meeting)
My door is always open ... just don’t come in
True Sea Story:
Reporting aboard a Navy Destroyer as an Electronics Technician. The chief is going through all the broken equipment stating how bad things are and replies, “I don’t know if you’re married or got a girlfriend but you might as well tell her you are screwing some whore cause you ain’t gettin’ off this ship til we get this equipment up and runnin’.”
She said - “What’s your birthday? I need to do a reading on you to determine if you get the promotion.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-wf2pP7T0Y&feature=related
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