~~~~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd ~~~~

[Lucky9teen]

http://www.youdrivewhat.com/

White House Infested With Bedbugs After Biden Brings In Recliner Off The Curb

WASHINGTON—The White House suffered a severe bedbug infestation last week after Vice President Joe Biden reportedly "scored" a discarded recliner chair that "someone was just throwing out" on the corner of Windom Road and 32nd Street. "It's plenty comfy, and I'll tell ya, they don't make 'em with levers like this anymore," said Biden, scratching at a series of red welts on his arms as he pointed out the pocket on the side that could hold both a remote control and a Coors tallboy. "It reclines all the way back. All the way. And you wanna know what else? It holds two people, if you know what I mean." Meanwhile, Senegal officials reported that their nation has been plagued by an outbreak of bedbugs since its president returned from a short stay in the Lincoln Bedroom.



Obama To Wait For Next Bruce Springsteen Album For Word On Economy

WASHINGTON—Faced with the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, the White House announced Tuesday that a cautious President Obama is awaiting the release of the next Bruce Springsteen album before moving forward with additional economic stimulus initiatives. "If Mr. Springsteen puts out an E-Street Band project with one rave-up and several tracks containing an overarching theme of redemption, the president will certainly take that as a strong indicator of economic recovery," said press secretary Robert Gibbs, adding that an album cover featuring an American flag would be "extremely promising." "However, if he records a stark, haunting, Nebraska-esque exploration of blue-collar life, then it is time to lower interest rates and take immediate steps toward drastically reevaluating our current strategy." The president has reportedly eschewed the supplementary Mellencamp Little Pink Housing Index used during the Reagan administration, as economists now widely believe it conveys a derivative, shallow view of the American fiscal landscape.

[Darksheare]

Looks like he might!

[Lady Jag]

Doesn't that mean he'd be better off in the basement?

[a fool in paradise]

[a fool in paradise]

[Darksheare]

Unfortunately not!
He’d do something truly mind blowingly stupid.
(Tristan cat is quite.. dumb. The only cat I know of to be terrified of his own tail.)

[a fool in paradise]

I know someone who’s dog is afraid to walk on cardboard.

[Lady Jag]

[Lady Jag]

So what do you do with him if he can’t be in the light or in the dark?

[a fool in paradise]

That’s a better photoshop than Al-Reuters turns out.

[Darksheare]

Keep him in twilight.

[Lady Jag]

Could it be that I played with it?

[Darksheare]

We had a husky hound mix who was terrified of the teapot.
It would whistle and she’d start trying to run away from it.
Though she DID eventually figure out it was harmless.

[Darksheare]

moar funny pictures

[a fool in paradise]

I know someone else who taught a bird to say “here kitty kitty kitty kitty”.

The cat would come running and not see anyone.

[a fool in paradise]

Catz PING

[Darksheare]

We had a parakeet that was obsessed with my previous cat.
He’d screech her name constantly.
She’d do the cat version of ducking her head and trying to sneak past under his heckling.
She died, he went not too long after.

[Lady Jag]

It's awfully hard to restrain a cat. Do you keep him in twilight with hammers or drugs?

[Nateman]

Ceiling cat vs Basement cat.

[Nateman]

[Hoffer Rand]

My parents’ cockatiel taught itself to whistle for my parents’ dogs just like my dad did when he fed them. His cage was in the kitchen, so when he was bored, he’d whistle, and here would come all three dogs, thinking they were getting fed, then the bird would bob up and down and say “ha ha ha.”