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The Five Dumbest Guns in Movies and Television [w/ video links]
Field and Stream ^ | March 02, 2009 | Phil Bourjaily

Posted on 03/03/2009 8:55:16 AM PST by yankeedame

Five Dumbest Guns in Movies and Television

#1: Rose McGowan’s M203 from Planet Terror
You are a nuttier gun nut than me if you think a stripper with an M203 prosthetic leg is either hot or cool. It’s just dumb. Also, I realize this is science fiction/fantasy but how does she pull the trigger? Unquestionably, this is the stupidest gun in movie history.

#2: Arnold’s Rail Guns from Eraser
Railguns exist now as experimental weapons; the Navy hopes to have shipboard versions some day. Railguns create an electromagnetic field on two rails. A conductive projectile completes the circuit, and something called a Lorentz Force sends it off the rails at incredibly high speed. The railguns in Eraser are supposed to shoot their aluminum bullets at nearly the speed of light. That means: a.) recoil would be fatal to the shooter and b.) air resistance would ignite the bullet almost immediately. And yet, Arnold is able to shoot one with each hand. Bonus: check out the nifty X-Ray scope.

#3: Jesse Ventura’s Minigun in Predator As a member of the commando team in Predator, Jesse Ventura humps a 7.62 caliber minigun around the jungle. Besides the problem of hauling enough ammunition to feed a gun that shoots 166 rounds a second, and the difficulty/impossibility of controlling such a gun by hand, there is also the issue of the king of all hot feet you would get from the cascade of smoking empties. Finally, it takes two truck batteries to run the thing. The filmmakers ran a cable under the actor’s pants leg to off-camera batteries to power the minigun motor.

#4: Clint Eastwood’s Harpoon Gun in The Dead Pool
What to do when the bad guy steals your .44 magnum? Simple. Take a nearby harpoon gun off its deck stanchion and shoot it from the hip. Never mind that in real life, the recoil of shooting a harpoon weighing several pounds would knock you down and maybe break some bones. But, because this is a movie, all that happens is Harry delivers the worst catchphrase of the series (English translation: “You’re s*** outta luck.”) then impales the villain, recovers his piece and coolly walks away.

#5: Steve McQueen’s Mare’s Leg from Wanted: Dead or Alive
If you’re a few years older than me, you might have owned a cap gun version of the Mare’s Leg from Wanted Dead or Alive (1958-1961). Today, if you must, you can buy firing replicas of Steve McQueen’s cut-down Winchester Model 92. Besides the recoil of such a gun and the pointlessness of turning a rifle into a pistol, the real reason the Mare’s Leg makes the list is, the gun and ammo don’t match. The rifle is a .44-40, but the small cartridges didn’t look impressive enough in the gun belt on camera, so McQueen wore .45-70 shells instead.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Reference; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: banglist
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To: yankeedame
And, of course, there's the Callahan Fullbore Autolock, or as Jayne Cobb call her, "Vera"


41 posted on 03/03/2009 9:47:08 AM PST by Salgak (Acme Lasers presents: The Energizer Border: I dare you to try and cross it. . .)
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To: Yo-Yo
Didn’t Our Man Flint (or maybe In Like Flint) have a selective fire gun that would shoot either forwards or backwards, depending on which way you pulled (or pushed!) the trigger?

Have a vague memory of that.

Also, Dean Martin in the Matt Helm movies had a gun with a trigger delay.

Bad guy grabs Matt's gun and pulls trigger.

"Click"

Bad guy inspects barrel of gun and shoots himself when trigger delay times out.

42 posted on 03/03/2009 9:47:36 AM PST by N. Theknow (No self discipline. No self government.)
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To: yankeedame
Well, Rose McGowan's prosthetic was supposed to be silly. We're talking Tarentino here. C'mon.

Now, as for Arnold's railgun, yes, that old Newton's law thingy might have been a little problem for an ordinary mortal, but this is Arnold we're talkin' about here. One for each hand somehow doesn't seem enough. Hollywood doesn't seem to do recoil unless the main character's name is Quigley. Maybe it isn't photogenic enough.

The double-double-barrel shotgun Reggie welds together in Phantasm II would have been cool and it's what I'd love to have if ever I have to hunt malevolent bloodsucking interplanetary dwarves but the recoil would have been a bastidge:

Anything used on zombies, though, gets a pass. You can't have too much ordnance when there are zombies running around.

43 posted on 03/03/2009 9:52:13 AM PST by Billthedrill
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To: yankeedame

I kinda liked Jim Wet’s gun in the display stand on his train that could be remotely activated, aimed and fired with a foot switch under his desk.


44 posted on 03/03/2009 9:52:38 AM PST by woollyone (I believe God created me- you believe you're related to monkeys. Of course I laughed at you!)
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To: Billthedrill

does a rail gun even HAVE a recoil?


45 posted on 03/03/2009 9:53:51 AM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: Salgak
No, Check the necktie/ neckline. That’s “sailor fuku”, a typical Japanese Schoolgirl outfit. . .

Yes but that's Joshikousei "High school girl", the japanese version of the US "catholic school" or the Brit "St Trinians" girl - Not Seeraafuku, the "sailor suit" style

46 posted on 03/03/2009 9:55:13 AM PST by Oztrich Boy ( As for a future life, every man must judge for himself between conflicting vague probabilities. - D)
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To: longtermmemmory
Yes, a railgun has recoil.

M1V1=M2V2 ...

Physics is a Bitch.

47 posted on 03/03/2009 9:56:05 AM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: Lazmataz

I think this thread needs the hellglock.


48 posted on 03/03/2009 9:56:07 AM PST by Buggman (HebrewRoot.com - Baruch haBa b'Shem ADONAI!)
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To: yankeedame

Talk about stupid scenes or plots, how about last night on 24 where the terrorists easily got into the surveillance system of the White House to watch the people but the Secret Service somehow FORGOT that they had this capability?


49 posted on 03/03/2009 9:56:23 AM PST by Blood of Tyrants (The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money. Margret Thatcher)
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To: yankeedame
#2: Arnold’s Rail Guns from Eraser Railguns exist now as experimental weapons; the Navy hopes to have shipboard versions some day. Railguns create an electromagnetic field on two rails. A conductive projectile completes the circuit, and something called a Lorentz Force sends it off the rails at incredibly high speed. The railguns in Eraser are supposed to shoot their aluminum bullets at nearly the speed of light. That means: a.) recoil would be fatal to the shooter and b.) air resistance would ignite the bullet almost immediately. And yet, Arnold is able to shoot one with each hand. Bonus: check out the nifty X-Ray scope.

Idiot article. Railguns have ZERO recoil.

50 posted on 03/03/2009 9:56:50 AM PST by Centurion2000 (01-20-2009 : The end of the PAX AMERICANA.)
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To: yankeedame
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

"It's an .88 Magnum...It shoots through schools."

51 posted on 03/03/2009 9:58:28 AM PST by Sax
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To: yankeedame

Important typo on the minigun bit ...

I think the ROF on the minigun is closer to 66 rounds per second at the high end (4000 Rounds PEr minute) NOT 166 rounds per second.

But THAT IS my FAVORITE gun porn scene of all time.


52 posted on 03/03/2009 9:59:01 AM PST by Blueflag (Res ipsa loquitur)
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To: mnehrling

Good point. The 5 mile headshot? Get real.


53 posted on 03/03/2009 9:59:41 AM PST by Centurion2000 (01-20-2009 : The end of the PAX AMERICANA.)
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To: Centurion2000

You might want to re-think who you’re calling an idiot.


54 posted on 03/03/2009 9:59:47 AM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: Vaquero
Gentlemen, please.


Don't forget the finger gun and the violin gun.

55 posted on 03/03/2009 10:05:32 AM PST by freepy smurf (I did not vote for McCain/Palin. I voted for Palin/McCain.)
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To: yankeedame

C’mon...it’s freakin’ Hollywood. I’ve got a bigger problem with all of the “true war stories” I see where half the guys dying in firefights have their safeties on.


56 posted on 03/03/2009 10:09:16 AM PST by gundog
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To: Oztrich Boy
Yes but that's Joshikousei "High school girl", the japanese version of the US "catholic school" or the Brit "St Trinians" girl - Not Seeraafuku, the "sailor suit" style...

ROTFLMAO! A truly expert comment. God, I love FR... ;-)

57 posted on 03/03/2009 10:12:51 AM PST by Billthedrill
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To: freepy smurf
Just outside the scope of this list, but an honorable mention for Sean Connery nonetheless:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

WTF?

58 posted on 03/03/2009 10:15:34 AM PST by Sax
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To: yankeedame
#5: Steve McQueen’s Mare’s Leg from Wanted: Dead or Alive If you’re a few years older than me, you might have owned a cap gun version of the Mare’s Leg from Wanted Dead or Alive (1958-1961). Today, if you must, you can buy firing replicas of Steve McQueen’s cut-down Winchester Model 92. Besides the recoil of such a gun and the pointlessness of turning a rifle into a pistol, the real reason the Mare’s Leg makes the list is, the gun and ammo don’t match. The rifle is a .44-40, but the small cartridges didn’t look impressive enough in the gun belt on camera, so McQueen wore .45-70 shells instead.

So? There are .46-70 lever guns. Cutting one down would not be that hard. As for recoil, there are 45-70 revolvers. This one should not be on this list.
59 posted on 03/03/2009 10:18:56 AM PST by TalonDJ
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To: Sax

Whoa - you know, at some point somebody in wardrobe had to explain to Connery that yes, that really is what he’s going to wear. I’d love to have heard that conversation. That was one very strange movie.


60 posted on 03/03/2009 10:22:45 AM PST by Billthedrill
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