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1 posted on 10/08/2008 9:33:56 AM PDT by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
says she can never return to her natural blonde hue

I don't get it... is she claiming that her roots won't grow out?

2 posted on 10/08/2008 9:36:05 AM PDT by John123 (The US may be going down the drain, but everyone else will drown first...)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

She sounds like one of those women.


3 posted on 10/08/2008 9:36:13 AM PDT by Free Vulcan (No prisoners. No mercy. Fight back or STFU!!!)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

It would NEVER return? I would think it would grow back in a couple years, even with really long hair.

Someone wanted the lawsuit lottery.


4 posted on 10/08/2008 9:36:45 AM PDT by ko_kyi
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

Simply perpetuating the “dumb blonde” stereotype.


7 posted on 10/08/2008 9:38:49 AM PDT by Travis T. OJustice (Change is not a destination, just as hope is not a strategy.)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

How do you “accidentally” dye your hair?


8 posted on 10/08/2008 9:38:58 AM PDT by Melpomene
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
Never return? Huh? Just let your hair grow out, natural color.
This may the stupidest law suit ever.
10 posted on 10/08/2008 9:40:53 AM PDT by svcw (Great selection of gift baskets: http://baskettastic.com/)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

Human hair grows about 1/4-1/2 inch per month. she must truly be a NATURAL BRUNETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to be that dumb.


12 posted on 10/08/2008 9:42:05 AM PDT by buffyt (Obama threw his turban into the presidential campaign ring! If he wins ATLAS WILL SHRUG!)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

Two things here stand out. One, all she had to do is go to a salon. A stylist could strip the traumatizing color out & replace it with the “correct” shade. And two, if she’s a natural blonde why does she need the dye job?


13 posted on 10/08/2008 9:42:42 AM PDT by Sue Perkick (And I hope that what I've done here today doesn't force you to have a negative opinion of me....)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
Gotta post at least one:
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her. 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied. 'What?' sputtered the Doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?' 'No, Silly,' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest.' 'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth. 'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

15 posted on 10/08/2008 9:44:30 AM PDT by Dahoser (America's great untapped alternative energy source: The Founding Fathers spinning in their graves.)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
What is it called when a Blond dyes her hair Brunette?

Artificial Intelligence.

17 posted on 10/08/2008 9:45:10 AM PDT by Yo-Yo
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
Charlotte Feeney of Stratford says she can never return to her natural blonde hue, a shock that left her so traumatized she needed anti-depressants.

If she's that fragile, she should be eliminated from the gene pool.

18 posted on 10/08/2008 9:45:53 AM PDT by mbynack (Retired USAF SMSgt)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

Brunettes are like a TV. Even two year olds can turn them on!

Q: Why does it take longer to build a brunette snowman?

A: Cause you have to hollow out it’s head!

___________________________________________________________

Q: Why do brunettes always smile during lightning storms?

A: They think their picture is being taken.

___________________________________________________________

Q: Why can’t Brunettes dial 911?

A: They can’t find the 11 on the phone!

___________________________________________________________

Q:What is eternity?

A: When 4 brunettes meet at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection!

___________________________________________________________

Q: What is the fastest way to get a one-armed brunette out of a tree?

A: Wave at her.

___________________________________________________________

Q: If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first?

A: The blonde because the brunette would stop for directions.

___________________________________________________________

Q: How do you get a brunette to laugh at a joke on Saturday?

A: Tell it to her on Tuesday.

___________________________________________________________

Q: What is a blonde between two brunettes?

A: An interpreter.

___________________________________________________________

Q: Why did the brunette write “TGIF” on her shoes?

A: To remind her that “toes go in first.”

___________________________________________________________

Q: What do you do if a brunette throws a pin at you?

A: Run like heck - she’s got a grenade in her mouth!

___________________________________________________________

Q: What do you call a brunette who dies her hair blonde?

A: Artificial intelligence.

___________________________________________________________

Q: Why did the brunette tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

A: So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills.

___________________________________________________________

Q:What do you call a dead brunette in a closet?

A: The 1995 Hide and Seek World Champion.

___________________________________________________________

Q:Why did the brunette get thrown out of the M & M factory?

A: She kept throwing out all the W’s.

___________________________________________________________

Q: Why was the brunette staring at the orange juice container?

A: Because it said (from) “Concentrate”.

___________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Q: How do you make a brunettes’s eyes light up?

A: Shine a flashlight in her ears.

___________________________________________________________

Q: What do UFO’s and smart brunettes have in common?

A: You hear about them all the time, but you never see one.

___________________________________________________________

Q: What do you call 25 brunettes standing ear to ear?

A: A wind tunnel.

___________________________________________________________

Q: Why is it good to have a brunette passenger?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.

___________________________________________________________

Q: How can you tell if a brunette’s been using the computer?

A: There’s white-out on the screen.

___________________________________________________________

Q: How can you tell if another brunette’s been using the computer?

A: There’s writing on the white-out.

___________________________________________________________

Q: What does a brunette say when you blow in her ear?

A: “Thanks for the refill!”

___________________________________________________________

Q: Why did the brunette climb over the glass wall?

A: To see what was on the other side.

___________________________________________________________

Q: What do you do when a brunette throws a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

___________________________________________________________

Q: How do you drown a brunette?

A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

A2: Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

___________________________________________________________

Q: What do you get when you give a brunette a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.

___________________________________________________________

Q: Why did the brunette get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months?

A: Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.

___________________________________________________________

Q: How do you amuse a brunette for hours?

A: Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.

___________________________________________________________

Q: How do you drive a brunette crazy?

A: Give her a bag of M & M s and tell her to alphabetize them.

___________________________________________________________

Q: What goes: VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH?

A: A brunette going through a flashing red light.

___________________________________________________________

Q: How do you confuse a brunette?

A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

___________________________________________________________

: Why don’t brunettes like to make Kool-Aid?

A: They can’t get all that water in that little package!

___________________________________________________________

Two brunette observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:

Brunette #1: “I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!”

Brunette #2: “Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!”

___________________________________________________________

Q: Why can’t brunettes make icecubes?

A: They can never remember the recipe.

___________________________________________________________

How many brunette jokes are there?

None, they’re all true.

___________________________________________________________

What do you call a brunette with half a brain?

Gifted.

___________________________________________________________

What do you call an intelligent brunette?

A chocolate lab.

___________________________________________________________


20 posted on 10/08/2008 9:46:44 AM PDT by buffyt (Obama threw his turban into the presidential campaign ring! If he wins ATLAS WILL SHRUG!)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

“Charlotte Feeney of Stratford says she can never return to her natural blonde hue”

If she’s so worried about her natural hue, what was she doing with a dye bottle in the first place??


25 posted on 10/08/2008 9:52:12 AM PDT by Ellendra (Most eco-freaks wouldn't know nature if it bit them on the butt . . . and it often does!)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife
Charlotte Feeney of Stratford says she can never return to her natural blonde hue...

I bet she thinks a "permanent" really is, lol.

32 posted on 10/08/2008 9:57:13 AM PDT by Ignatz (Why not enjoy the occasional swede?)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

Somewhere in here there is a joke about the “curtains” not matching the “carpet”...


34 posted on 10/08/2008 9:58:39 AM PDT by Ignatz (Why not enjoy the occasional swede?)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

I wish the judge had given her a through talking-to about how dumb people, blond or otherwise, slow down the judicial process for everybody clogging up the courts in their pursuit of the lottery and obliged her to make coffee, copy and deliver papers, etc. in a law office for a week as punishment in addition to paying courts costs. She would have learned a lesson about the value of time. Just for fun, he should have also told her to grow it out and just cut 1 inch every 2 months (or something more creative) and to find a hairdress to put in lowlights at the roots as her disaster grows out.

She should now sue the lawyer for going to court without evidence that the dye came out of the L’Oreal box and letting her make a monumental ass of herself on the national stage. He should also have to pay some penalty for wasting the court’s time.

Having said all that, the dumbest lottery-lawsuit of all time is that judge who tried to sue the dry cleaners for losing his pants to the tune of (I think) $56 million.


36 posted on 10/08/2008 10:01:52 AM PDT by definitelynotaliberal
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

One of my best friends gave me a coffee cup to use at work. It said:

CAUTION: BLONDE, PLEASE SPEAK S-L-O-W-L-Y

I replied O.............K..........I.....will......

(LOL! I loved that cup!)


42 posted on 10/08/2008 10:51:29 AM PDT by 444Flyer (Marriage=1 man+1 woman! Vote "YES" on Prop 8, amend the Calif. State Constitution this November.)
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

The blondie can’t read the box... well...duh!!! I thought Brown hair makes you smart. I have brown hair and proud of it!!

NoCoGOP’s wife message


43 posted on 10/08/2008 11:12:54 AM PDT by NorCoGOP ((borrowed from another Freeper) "They have Obama...we have Oh! MAMA!")
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

So much for artificial intelligence.


45 posted on 10/08/2008 2:18:33 PM PDT by VRWCmember
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To: Cincinatus' Wife

Redheads (natural ones like me) never have these problems ;)>


47 posted on 10/08/2008 6:22:59 PM PDT by Caramelgal (a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer except that you have actual responsibilies)
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