Posted on 10/07/2008 11:30:13 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
(Washington, D.C.) The Surgeon General today warned viewers of tonight's Presidential Debates to be wary about participating in drinking games associated with candidate's word usage or phrases.
Specifically the Surgeon General said "We are very concerned that anyone who takes a drink everytime Obama begins a sentence with the word "I" could over-imbibe and pass out with dangerously high BAC's."
Fuurther, The General warned against drinking to everytime Obama said, uh, er, oh and aah.
The Surgeon General suggested that instead of taking multiple drinks that people who wanted to participate in these "games" would be better off to pick a "bonus" word, a word that when heard could allow for participants to do something more helpful to their health.
It was suggested as an example that if Obama uses the phrase "8 years old" or "Keating Five" participant could do 10 sit-ups.
Do we even have a Surgeon General?
Well, LOL! you don't want to pass out from drinking too much in the first 15 minutes of the debate do you? LOL!
I mean, with all the I's, uh's, ers, ohs and ah's even the best drinkers would surely pass out in the first 15 to 20 minutes. LOL!
In our frat house it was “Hi, Bob.” but yes, it made for some interesting evenings.
One could get “warm and fuzzy” if you drank for each one of McCain’s “my friend(s)” !
Here’s one drinking game I don’t want to have to worry about:
Drinking to the point of delirium everyday that oslama is POTUS.
Count the times Obama says “ya know” very softly, almost inaudibly.
Maverick!
If centuries-old scurrilous rumors are to believed, President Ulysses S. Grant may or may not have signed a law mandating that 9pm debates on Friday night must be accompanied by a drinking game. In honor of one of the most underrated Presidents in our history, here is:
The Official Ulysses S. Grant Memorial Obama/McCain Debate Drinking Game
* * *
One drink:
- If both candidates show up
- Every time either candidate says “fannie”
- Every time either candidate says “George W. Bush”
- Every time McCain says “my friends”
- Every time Obama says “um” or “uh”
- Every time McCain says “reform”
- Every time Obama says “change”
- If commentators talk during the break about a candidate being “calm and collected”
- If either candidate says “That’s a great question...”
- Any time the word “maverick” is heard
- Any time the phrase “same ol’ failed policies” is heard
Two drinks:
- If McCain pretends to have a heart attack on stage
- If Obama lights up a cigarette on stage
- If McCain says something in Spanish
- If Obama says something in Indonesian
- If Obama answers “present” to a yes-or-no question
- If McCain answers a question before the moderator finishes asking it
- If either candidate mentions “Mahmoud Ahmadinejad” and “Mikheil Saakashvili” in the same sentence
- If either candidate mentions “Main Street” and “Wall Street” in the same sentence
- If Obama wears a flag pin
- If McCain wears a P.O.W. flag pin
- If the moderator asks the difference between “Sunni” and “Shiite”
Three Drinks:
- If the moderator asks the difference between “Hardees” and “Carls Jr.”
- If three countries beginning with the letter “I” are mentioned in one answer
- If “tax cuts for the middle class” are promised by anyone, including the moderator
- If either candidate promises to change ocean levels upon their election
- If McCain pretends to favor border enforcement
- If Obama suggests the 2nd Amendment was intended to protect hunters
- If either candidate acknowledges the growing ninja menace
- If three countries ending in “-istan” are mentioned in one answer
- If Obama quotes Ronald Reagan
- If McCain quotes John F. Kennedy
- If Obama quotes Jesus
Finish your glass:
- If Obama claims to be Jesus
- If McCain claims to be Moses
- If Obama threatens to invade an ally
- If McCain threatens to punch the moderator
- If either candidate promises flying cars
Bonuses!
- Do a Jägerbomb every time “the surge” is mentioned
- Shot of vodka every time Russia or Georgia are mentioned
- Shot of bourbon every time ethanol is mentioned
- Shot of tequila every time immigration or Mexico are mentioned
- Shot of rum every time hurricanes are mentioned
- Shot of scotch if the disembodied ghost of Ulysses S. Grant makes an appearance
- Shot of your own wretched tears when the debate ends and you realize that one of these two clowns is going to be the next President
He doesn’t say “policies”...it’s “poli-says” or “poli-sehs”.
I ABSOLUTELY HATE how the purplelipped big-eared freak tries to infuse his speech with a quasi-southern “accent”.
What a phoney FRAUD he is. God save us please...God help us.
keating
singlaub
bush
palin
hic . ‘cuse me.
Is this his attempt to appeal to Hillary voters?
And that’s why we love her so.
Drink!
I was thinking of drinking every time Obama said “change,” but then I don’t want to get alcohol poisoning.
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