Posted on 05/30/2008 5:41:37 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Top 10 Most Brilliant Marketing Screw Ups….
1. Coors put its slogan, “Turn it loose,” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.”
2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.”
3. Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick”, a curling iron, into German only to find out that “mist” is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the “manure stick.”
4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what’s inside, since most people can’t read.
5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.
6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope’s visit. Instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the shirts read “I saw the potato” (la papa).
7. Pepsi’s “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” translated into “Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave”, in Chinese.
8. Frank Perdue’s chicken slogan, “it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken” was translated into Spanish as “it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate.”
9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as “Ke-kou-ke-la”, meaning “Bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax”, depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent “ko-kou-ko-le”, translating into “happiness in the mouth.”
10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, “it won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you”. Instead, the company thought that the word “embarazar” (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: “It won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant.”
LOL!
That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time! And it just keeps going! ;o]
I think there’s actually a you-tube video out there somewhere showing the polar bear chasing that man around and around the Bronco.
It’s a real LMAO video.
My cubicle song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O_5ef49N5I
I’m a claims adjuster and I’ve handled several claims like the one on the left: some absent-minded dope leaving the gas nozzle in their tank and driving away.
The gas station shuts down the pump for a few hours or even a day or two and turns around and files a claim for lost revenue. With gas at $4/gal, that’s a claim!
Save it.
The next time someone sends you a link you don’t like, paste the url in the little box and send it back to them.....
Best Divorce Letter Ever
Dear wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Signed,
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice
when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got
home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich and Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.
LOL!
Amazing how much can accumulate...
Two men are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......
“Hey George”, says the first one, “do you smell what I smell. It’s bacon..... I’m sure of it.”
“Yes, Henry” replied #2. “It smells like bacon to me too.”
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There’s raw bacon, there’s fried bacon, Canadian bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
“George, George, we’re saved. “It’s a bacon tree.”
“Henry, are you sure it’s not a mirage? Afterall, we are in the desert.”
“George, when did you ever hear of a mirage that smells like bacon? This is no mirage, it’s a bacon tree”.
And with that... Henry races towards the tree. He gets to within 15 feet, George following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Henry is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Henry with his dying breath.
“Henry... go back man, you were right.....it’s not a bacon tree after all.”
“George my friend... what is it?”
“Henry.....it’s...
it’s
it’s
it’s
it’s
it’s
it’s
it’s
it’s a Ham Bush.”
1) Sex in the morning,afternoon or night?
Yes.
2) What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Right
3) Pork, beef, or chicken?
Pork
4) Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Yes
5) Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No
6) Shower or bath?
Shower
7) Do you pee in the shower?
Not always
8) Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Aggressive, but not psychotic.
9) Love or money?
Money will buy you love. Love won’t buy you money.
10) Credit cards or cash?
Both.
11) Have you ever had anyone in your family you wish wasn’t?
No.
12) Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
5 Star baby.
13) What is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Bathtub.
14) Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
It’d have to be at least six figures.
15) Have you ever been to a strip club?
Well, duh.
16) Ever been to a bar?
Yes.
17) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
Yes.
18) Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
No
19) Kissed someone of the same sex?
Yes, but no tongue.
20) Have you ever had sex at work?
Yes.
21) Have you ever been in an “adult” store?
Yes.
22) Have u ever bought anything thing from an adult store?
Yes.
23) Ever been caught having sex?
Yes.
24) Does anyone have naughty pics of YOU?
(Sigh) Yes.
25) Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Yes.
1) Sex in the morning,afternoon or night?
There are options?
2) What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Lid is closed, can’t tell.
3) Pork, beef, or chicken?
Chicken, everything tastes like it.
4) Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Speed the car up, open the window, and heave chaff at the jerk tailgating...
5) Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Hey, those art stuidents promised they wouldn’t say anything to anyone.
6) Shower or bath?
Shower, to drown out the screams.
7) Do you pee in the shower?
I don’t. But I don’t try to stop anyone else from doing so.
Now where did I pout my pliers?
8) Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Aggressive enough that I don’t feel like a total barbarian, passive enough that I don’t feel like it’s a wrestling match.
9) Love or money?
If I have money, love isn’t possible as the focus will be on my Benjamins. If I have love, The focus will be on the LACK of Benjamins.
Gimme the vodka.
10) Credit cards or cash?
Debit, and mega insurance out on that guy over there.
11) Have you ever had anyone in your family you wish wasn’t?
Yes, and I tried to sell him off on EBay.
Which is why you cannot sell off siblings on EBay..
12) Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
Camping, seclusion is better for drowning out screams.
13) What is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Fifth branch up in a tree.
14) Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
Been there, done that. Was called “In Processing” at Fort Sill.
15) Have you ever been to a strip club?
Had to use the phone.
Got kicked out for asking if someone would sit still for a sketch.
16) Ever been to a bar?
A few.
17) Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
Does getting chased out count?
18) Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
No, would have hampered running out of the place once the MP’s got there.
19) Kissed someone of the same sex?
No.
20) Have you ever had sex at work?
Sadly, no.
And with my current coworkers, thank HEAVEN no.
21) Have you ever been in an “adult” store?
Yes.
22) Have u ever bought anything thing from an adult store?
One or two items.
23) Ever been caught having sex?
Almost.
Park Service guy would have been surprised.
24) Does anyone have naughty pics of YOU?
I was sleeping, I have an excuse.
25) Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Used her full middle name.
Didn’t know I could turn blue, or that she could strangle me with those nylons that fast.
LOL!!!
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