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A Recipe for Trout Cooked in Horse Manure [Truite à la mer(de)]
Tomifobia ^ | 4-30-08

Posted on 04/30/2008 11:59:31 AM PDT by SJackson

INGREDIENTS: THE COMPOST PILE

Approximately 300 lbs. of fresh horse manure. (Appaloosa mare manure preferred, but any will do in a pinch. Try to avoid using cow manure as it will not heat up as well as horse and you may undercook the trout.)

One large bale of clean straw (50 to 100 lbs.).

Several cups of dolomitic limestone (to enhance the pHlavours).

A 20' x 20' area for mixing with access to plenty of fresh water.

THE TROUT

Three (3) speckled trout (preferably poached using a dry fly such as a Blue Dunn or a Dark Montreal, but you can substitute a wet fly (Mickey Finn), if necessary. Under no circumstances should you use trout caught with worms or hardware. You have to enter into the spirit of this dish.)

Fresh herbs of your choice (whatever is fresh in the garden -- I used tarragon, dill and chive flowers).

Piment d'Espelette (a dried red pepper, similar to paprika, from le pays Basque in northern Spain by the Pyrnees).

Coarse sea salt (preferably "Fleur de Sel de Camargue" which is gathered by hand from the salt marshes at the mouth of the Rhone in southern France).

Fresh, coarsely ground black pepper.

Plastic wrap, plastic bags and aluminum foil.

THE COMPOST HEAP

Preheat your compost pile to between 140 to 160 degrees F. This could take several weeks so you must plan ahead.

To build your compost pile, gather together the horse manure, straw, and limestone. Starting on the bare earth, layer the ingredients never more than six inches thick.

Begin with a layer of manure, then a sprinkle of lime, a layer of straw and then a sprinkle of earth to introduce the bacteria that will cause the pile to heat. Dampen this thoroughly, then start again until you have used up all the compost ingredients.

You should start to see results within 24 to 36 hours. Vapors will begin to rise and a wonderful aroma will waft amongst the garden rows. This is best experienced at sunrise (or at sunset with an Irish whiskey in hand).

After one week or so, you may want to turn and mix the compost pile placing the outside layers in the heart of the new pile. Be sure to water daily.

Once the internal temperature of the pile has reached 140 to 160 degrees F. you can proceed to the next step.

THE TROUT

Clean the trout and place on a cutting board. Score the outside of the trout every inch or so and rub with coarse salt. Sprinkle with the black pepper and the Piment d'Espelette inside and out. Set aside.

Wash and dry the herbs. Stuff the cavities of the trout with your herbs and sprinkle with chive flowers.

Wrap each trout in plastic wrap. Place all three together in one plastic bag and seal.

Wrap this plastic bag in aluminium foil. Place this foil package in another plastic bag.

Wrap this second bag in foil and then place once again in another plastic bag.

All these layers will prevent the juices from seeping out into your compost pile and contaminating it.

THE LONG, SLOW COOKING

Proceed to the pre-heated compost pile and dig down to the centre. You will probably need gloves as it will be much too hot to touch with your bare hands.

Place the plastic/foil wrapped fish in the centre of the pile and cover with active compost.

Pour yourself a glass of rosé and wait eighteen hours.

LE DÉNOUEMENT

Prepare a bed of fresh spinach to receive the trout. At the appointed meal time, gather your friends and proceed to the composting area to retrieve your "repas."

Open several more bottles of rosé and enjoy. [EDITOR'S NOTE: A small glass or three of iced Polish vodka, taken neat, is an added treat and keeps your taste buds freshened and the spirit willing.]

And don't forget to raise a glass in honour of Grampa Ray who made this all possible.


TOPICS: Food; Local News
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1 posted on 04/30/2008 11:59:31 AM PDT by SJackson
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To: Iowa Granny; Ladysmith; Diana in Wisconsin; JLO; sergeantdave; damncat; phantomworker; joesnuffy; ..

If you’d like to be on or off this Upper Midwest/outdoors/rural list please FR mail me. And ping me is you see articles of interest.


2 posted on 04/30/2008 12:01:43 PM PDT by SJackson (I'm a lawyer, Barack is a lawyer, all our friends are lawyers, Michelle O.)
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To: SJackson

Wonder if we’ll see this technique demonstrated on Good Eats.


3 posted on 04/30/2008 12:02:34 PM PDT by driftdiver
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To: SJackson

The confluence of events that had him looking at his compost pile as a potential oven to cook his food must have been dramatic. Gramma Ray must have gooten mad at him, sent him to the doghouse and told him to “cook his own crappy meals”. To which he replied I’ll do just that.


4 posted on 04/30/2008 12:06:36 PM PDT by contemplator (Capitalism gets no Rock Concerts)
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To: SJackson
Okay, so the idea is to burn 15000 calories to prepare a 1200 calorie meal?

Why, again, exactly? Or just because you can?

There are definitely easier ways to cook your dinner.

5 posted on 04/30/2008 12:14:30 PM PDT by xsrdx (Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas)
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To: absolootezer0

Trout cooked in manure......

Hey! You could stick a bottle under that and collect all the drippings....put a fancy lable on it....give it a name thats hard to pronounce....and sell it as one of them fancy beers you drink.

They would sell like hotcakes!


6 posted on 04/30/2008 12:16:49 PM PDT by envisio (If you ain't laughin yet... you ain't seen me naked. 8^O)
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To: SJackson
Try to avoid using cow manure as it will not heat up as well as horse and you may undercook the trout.

Why do I feel like undercooking is the least of my concern here?
7 posted on 04/30/2008 12:18:18 PM PDT by newheart (The Truth? You can't handle the Truth. But He can handle you.)
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To: SJackson

8 posted on 04/30/2008 12:19:50 PM PDT by Petronski (When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth, voting for Hillary.)
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To: xsrdx
There are definitely easier ways to cook your dinner.


9 posted on 04/30/2008 12:21:07 PM PDT by Petronski (When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth, voting for Hillary.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Nice!


10 posted on 04/30/2008 12:21:43 PM PDT by KoRn
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To: SJackson
Feeding lumberjacks is a nasty job. You have to make enormous amounts of food, and the cookfires are hot and smokey. No one at the logging camps wants the job. On top of that, lumberjacks often complain about the quality of the vittles. Well, somehow a tradition built up that if a lumberjack complained about the food, he'd end up becoming the new cook. Lumberjacks quickly learned not to complain about the food.

One day a new fella joined the crew and he wasn't happy with his breakfast that first day. "My eggs are runny", he said. Before he knew it, a chef's hat was on his head, and he was being hustled into the kitchen.

Well, his cooking was bad, but no one said anything. Time went on, but he couldn't seem get out of it. He had been cook for quite some time and he started to do it badly on purpose. Still, no one said anything. The poor fellow started to become desperate. Then, one day, he was walking through the woods and he came upon a big fresh moose turd. It was a real steamer. He got an idea, scooped it up and brought it back to camp.

That night, he announced a special desert, and brought out a luscious looking pastry. He dished it up and watched the first lumberjack dig in. The man chewed for a while, then swallowed and gasped, "My God! It's Moose turd pie!!"

Then he added, "Mighty fine one, too."

11 posted on 04/30/2008 12:23:05 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy
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To: envisio

yeah, but it’d still taste better than your yellow fizzy beer.

:P


12 posted on 04/30/2008 12:23:29 PM PDT by absolootezer0 ( Detroit: we're so bad, even our mayor is a criminal)
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To: SJackson
And don't forget to raise a glass in honour of Grampa Ray who made this all possible.

I presume that "Grampa Ray" is the name of the horse ....

13 posted on 04/30/2008 12:24:10 PM PDT by RonF
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To: SJackson

That’s interesting, I never knew compost could generate heat. I wonder if landfill dumps do, or could be made to.
Could any useful energy be extracted?


14 posted on 04/30/2008 12:25:25 PM PDT by OeOeO (Sic Transit Gloria Mundi... Gloria get me a beer,and hurry..)
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To: envisio

Fancy beer? It isn’t fancy if you brew it yourself.... even if it is a Lambic or Double Imperial Stout or Cream Stout, or Double IPA... or whatever.


15 posted on 04/30/2008 12:28:54 PM PDT by LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget (Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes)
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To: SJackson

Dude, you win.

I’ve tried cooking on the engine block with limited success cause the trip was too short. Once when camping, I forgot a pan, so I cooked eggs and bacon on a folding shovel but yours takes the cake.


16 posted on 04/30/2008 12:29:55 PM PDT by cyclotic (Support Scouting-Raising boys to be men, and politically incorrect at the same time.)
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To: xsrdx

Unrelated:::: but I was having that conversation with Mrs Envisio last night.

The dog will cut flips and spin around and run clear across the room for a potato chip.


But in this case, I guess they just enjoy doing it. I been known to (quite often) smoke a pork roast all day. Overnight marinating, charcoal and smoker preparation, stoking the fire all day.....
I could easily buy some BBQ pork and save the effort. I just enjoy doing it.


17 posted on 04/30/2008 12:32:56 PM PDT by envisio (If you ain't laughin yet... you ain't seen me naked. 8^O)
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To: SJackson

You’re shittin’ me, riiiiiiight?


18 posted on 04/30/2008 12:36:13 PM PDT by Tucker39 (Darwin, Huxley, Sagan, et al began believing in God and Creation after 5 seconds in Hell!)
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To: SJackson
Vapors will begin to rise and a wonderful aroma will waft amongst the garden rows. This is best experienced at sunrise (or at sunset with an Irish whiskey in hand).

Ode d'manure and Irish whiskey. Sounds about right.

Yep, made for each other.

19 posted on 04/30/2008 12:39:50 PM PDT by LTCJ (God Save the Constitution)
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To: SJackson

I’m sure the CLEAN straw makes all the difference when cooking with sh**. This seems so much easier than using my Weber.


20 posted on 04/30/2008 12:41:46 PM PDT by CougarGA7 (Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.)
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