[Lazamataz]

I am stunned. This beautiful Girl Scout Mom, this sweet-natured woman who loved me, this beautiful, talented professional -- is none of those things. I am now moving on, but it is hard.

[ßuddaßudd]

Laz, she wasn’t meant to be......
Go and dont look back.

[wallcrawlr]

You should see what she said about you at SZ5

[lmailbvmbipfwedu]

I think that the term is suckubus. Lucky you got away.

[Tijeras_Slim]

I think perdogg has the solution posted here

The poor darling could use some comforting...

[andy58-in-nh]

Hang in there, guy. At a time like the one you're going through, no matter what anyone says: there are no rules. Well, maybe three:

Never forget who you are.
Never let anyone deprive you of your sense of humor.
Stay close to your friends.

I've been through drugs, depression, panic attacks, crazed, possessive women, the death of my father at a young age, and a host of other embarrassments and humiliations. I've woken up in bushes and in snowbanks, with no memory of how I got there. All, a long time ago. All, a part of life.

Keep busy, stick by good people and good things and force yourself to smile, if necessary. Pretty soon, you're not forcing it any more. And stay away from crazy-assed women, willya? Feel better -

Andy

[TexasNative2000]

Laz, I'm sorry to hear about your episode, but grateful you saw the reality of the situation before making a commitment.

I'm not a psychologist, but I do know that dependence makes people do some strange things, whether that dependence is chemical or relational. It especially gets tricky when unstable people try to substitute one for the other.

Blessings for a fresh start.

[Lazamataz]

Sometimes I forget that I have a lot of e-friends right here.

The response on this thread reminds me.

Just don't expect Easter gifts.

[oldvike]

Go on with life and do the things you enjoy, i.e. whatever your hobbies are. You’ll meet the right person when you least expect it.

[Othniel]

Dude, this sucks. That being said, however, you need to realize that there were things in place in her that you couldn't change. The things in place were things that she wasn't honest with about herself (like the bulimia thing)that she thought she was in control of, or stuff she thought that she was over (like Mr. Wonderful-Dumbass-5xFelon-Dude). Whatever it was that set her off, you had nothing to do with. All those things were in place long before you met her.

I know a couple who attend a Celebrate Recovery thing at their church. Neither were involved in drugs, it was all emotional stuff that they were dealing with, but the steps and support they've gotten from recovering methheads, hookers, and other types has been helpful and encouraging. But whether it's emotional or a physical addiction, they all agree that Jesus can bring them through it. Hang in there, bud. You're appreciated, cared about, and prayed for.

[woollyone]

You asked the question in the title...”what happens when...?”

Well, speakign form very recent experience...
-you get your heart broken
-you see that thsi person is the creature of theri own making...not ours
-you feel terribly sorry to see here destroy herself
-you recognize that if she doesn’t want to help her, you certainly can’t.
-you recognize that since she care so little for herself, how can you expect her to care for you? You can’t expect it.
-you steel your heart for a bit more hurt and confusion to come as you heal.
-you change your habits ot include new activites that restore YOUR soul and YOUR self worth. You cannot change hers, but you can build yours. Do that.
-You steer clear of places and circumstances where you’d see her, or hear from her.
-As time goes on, you ask about her less and less. You vist her myspace page less and less. You check up her less and less.
-As time goes on, you let her go.

Someone here at FR gave me some very good advice. Freeper AperfectLady warned me that my X owuld turn up at a later date appealign for “help” and that she would attmpt to manipulate my emotions. She was 100% correct. It happened. A couple of times.

Be forewarned. Steel your heart.

My pastor has said that it is beter to be single nad happy than married to Miss Wrong.
And when Miss Right comes along, you do not want her to see Miss Wrong on your arm.

Best wishes friend.

Now get your a$$ back to church this Sunday!

;0)

[jrp]

Sorry to hear this Laz. I remember seeing a post where you mentioned you had met someone special. Sorry it didn’t work out, but glad you didn’t find out after you married her. IIRC, you are a gun owner - be careful about bogus restraining orders and such if she decides to get nasty. You could lose your firearms.

[READINABLUESTATE]

Be thankful, you dodged a bullet.

[goldstategop]

They say love is blind. The truth is no human being is going to be perfect or measure up to the romantic and fantasy image people have of the perfect mate. One has to judge a person on more than looks to find a truly compatible match.

[Matchett-PI]

I was SURE you were writing satire, ie: quoting someone who has a total self-focus and then wonders why he always winds up so unhappy.

[jellybean]

Cyber hug, Laz.

Ephesians 6:10-16

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

[SweetCaroline]

Been there done that Laz. The hurting didn't stop until I prayed for God to take him out of my heart. Soon after I thought about him less and less, and my heart stopped aching.Only then did I see a clearer picture of what my life with him would have been like and it wasn't at all what I dreamed it would be. It's been years since I thought about him and when I do, I thank God for his help.

[Grizzled Bear]

Good job dodging that bullet FRiend!

This is why it's usually a very bad idea to rush into marriage. Especially if the other seems in a big hurry to do so, so you're married to them before you figure out who they really are!

[The SISU kid]

Laz,

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye.”

8^)

[The SISU kid]

FF (Favorite FReeper) ping!

Please come on over and ping Lazamataz to help brighten his day!

8^)

[Mr. Jazzy]

Amazing that you should post this ...

... On my ex-wife’s birthday.