Posted on 08/17/2007 3:09:50 PM PDT by WFTR
Welcome to the thread. We're glad to have you here.
This weekend's topic is online dating sites. We've all seen the ads for e-Harmony on TV and for Match.com at various places around the internet. Yahoo has a personals section. AOL has a personals section. Craig's List has a personals section (if your immune system is strong enough). The local ISPs in most major cities often have personals ads somewhere on their websites. Many specialty websites have arisen for special interest personals. ConservativeMatch.com and RepublicanPeopleMeet come to mind. The question is "Are any of these places any good?"
The major topic of this weekend's thread is a review of these sites. Do you have any experience with any of them? Did you like them? Would you recommend them? In general, how do you feel about online dating? Do you see online dating as being any different from the old personals magazines that we used to see in supermarkets? Would you consider having a long-term relationship with someone whom you met this way?
Again, this topic could be touchy to some people, and we ask that everyone be adult and be considerate.
We'd also like to thank Spirit of Allegiance for thinking of this one. His original idea was to spend a weekend each month looking at each site in depth, and if the topic is popular enough, we may return to a deeper exploration of some of these sites at a later time.
We also have a couple of bonus questions this week, and we'd like everyone to take a shot at one or two of them. They are:
1. What kind of car do you drive? What kind of car would you like to drive?
2. What kind of car would your ideal partner drive?
3. Your ideal partner just won $5000. How does she/he spend it?
You should definitely consider it, once you have the time and interest. And I think that’s the key. Many join because their lives are so busy - they think they’ll meet someone great just because they signed up and created a profile - without any personal effort. Doesn’t work that way. You have to have the time, interest, and attention.
For instance, I admire a woman who would put the money towards paying debts, but if the debts are something other than student loans, a house, or maybe a car, she's not my ideal. I understand that many good people get into bad situations and must use credit to survive, but most people in a credit crunch are trying to recover from bad decisions. I'd be afraid of becoming involved with a woman who was in that situation. Even scarier than the woman who needs $5000 to pay credit card debt is the woman who has some debt but would use the money as a down payment on something else that she'd buy on credit.
My ideal would use some of the money to buy something nice for herself but would also put some of the money to good uses. If she tried to save or invest all of it, she's probably as tight as I am, and two people who are that tight might have a tough time. I'd like to see her give some of it to charity or some other good cause. Obviously, I'd like to see her invest some of it in her future. While I make a good salary, I'm not at the point where $5000 is just something that I could spend without thought, and I wouldn't be comfortable with a woman who could do that.
In terms of "something nice for herself," my ideal might get something like a good fleece jacket for taking walks on brisk fall days. A new pair of walking shoes would be another item along the same lines. A woman who would spend part of her shopping spree at a book store would be a woman with things in common with me. Giving herself a weekend road trip would be another way that my ideal woman might want to spend some of that money.
Bill
Yup. I tried Match.com for a bit. I also signed up for a match online site that was based out of England but stated right up front that I lived in Phoenix, Arizona and was only looking for a chat buddy (it was one of the choices).
Did you like them? Would you recommend them?
Yes, I liked them. I found it a good way to 'meet' single men. If I felt there was a desire to take it offline, I had no hesitation in doing so in a public place for lunch in broad daylight in my own car. And I have done so. Yes I would recommend them, but with that caveat ... ensure your own safety!
In general, how do you feel about online dating?
see above ...
Do you see online dating as being any different from the old personals magazines that we used to see in supermarkets?
No idea. Never used 'em. I don't even remember there being singles magazines.
Would you consider having a long-term relationship with someone whom you met this way?
Would. Did. Got engaged to the fella that I met thru the England online dating service. He came here for 3 weeks, and asked me to marry him during that time. We'd been chatting online and on the phone for 6-7 months before he came out. Then I went out to live with him in England for 3 months. It was during that last week of the 3 months that it all went south. Oh well. Could happen in any relationship, no matter how you met. He didn't turn out to be a serial killer or anything, just NOT my type and me not his, which we found out when living together so closely. Shame, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.
I drive a 2000 Oldsmobile Silhouette (van). Perfectly happy with it.
2. What kind of car would your ideal partner drive?
Really makes no nevermind to me.
3. Your ideal partner just won $5000. How does she/he spend it?
Not my $5000. He could buy whatever makes him happy (though taking me out to a nice dinner once would be appreciated to celebrate!)
One thing that always bothered yet amused me about conservativematch is that they clearly stated that the website was not for homosexuals. I support that policy even though I wouldn't have a problem if they wanted to have a homosexual section. However, when I did my searches from my screen name, I still had to specify that I was looking for a woman. I always thought, "If I've agreed in the TOS that I'm not seeking homosexual relationships and you have my profile that shows that I'm a man, why don't you already assume that I'm seeking a woman without my having to click the little button?" It seems that every time I searched, I forgot to specify that I wanted a woman and the search wouldn't work until I made a choice.
Bill
Thanks for the ‘farmersonly’ site. I’ve moved to Iowa and tho I live in town, I’m surrounded by farms and have students who live on farms. I’d wouldn’t mind meeting a farmer, a nice regular guy, at all.
Does one have to be a farmer to join Farmers Only? I live in Idaho so I could at the very least do a great job of faking it. And I have my auto insurance through Farmers...:)
Another one I’ve seen a lot of guys and gals my age have used is MySpace. I use that to communicate with friends and old coworkers, but I’ve never considered it in finding women to date.
That type of situation would be least appealing to me. It interrupts my mission to get in and get out with the shopping trip ...and embarrasses me in front of strangers.
1. What kind of car do you drive? What kind of car would you like to drive?
An 89 4-Runner, but I'd like to drive a four-door one-ton diesel so I can pull anything I want to.
2. What kind of car would your ideal partner drive?
Who cares? As long as it's not some poofy Prius or a people pod. Actually he'd probably drive a truck too.
3. Your ideal partner just won $5000. How does she/he spend it?
More SCUBA toys, probably.
I've heard that as a suggestion myself, and I have to think it's at least somewhat fabricated. When I'm in a grocery store, I'm looking for deodorant, getting prescriptions refilled, and am like Lainey, "on a mission".
And where I live, the type of people that go to grocery stores are people that are already attached--soccer moms, for example.
Quickly dropping in...
Hey, stranger.
Eh...
Stout! You’re back, how the hell you been man?
your tagline describes both our situations right now.
For One Night Only—by popular demand...
Same old, Same old—on sabbatical, drinking beer, school. The Usual. Taking a semester off—need to fix my car and can’t afford Jim Doyle’s jack on tuition...
Another site now is Facebook. Heck, there’s over 110 dating applications (and no, I’m not using any of them...)
Well, Doyle can go screw off, but our governor Charlie Crist has a crappy record on education, too. Don’t blame me, I did not vote for him.
Yeah. He can.
UW system’s crying poverty and asking for $180 million more. But they have administrators up the wazoo getting plush backup jobs...
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