Have fun but follow the FR guidelines.
in before the ping...
Hi Dolly and everyone,
I’ll add my own variation:
“Let”s just end this now.”
Ouch, ouch, ouch...
This is what I dealth with this last week...I am still trying to regain my equilibrium... :(
Thank goodness for martinis...yes, I had too (whoops!) cross out “too” and insert “two”, this evening...I don’t feel better, but I do feel less inhibited!
I almost had occasion to contact stout and ask him to meet me in Detroit and have a beer together...yeah, I was supposed to be in Detroit(!) of all the crazyk, (that’s a Polish ‘k’...lol) C-O-L-D places...this past week...
Nancy
We had made plans to get together in the city tomorrow. Lo and behold, I just received an email from her that her ex-boyfriend came to her out of the blue after two months. They met and yadda yadda yadda...they are likely together at her apartment right now. This is the second time "an old boyfriend" has stepped in to cut what could be a promising relationship short in the last six months.
I know that this may anger some on this board, but I really hope that the both of them get hit by a bus. I have had my heart broken too many times in my life to "get over it." Without the affection of a woman, life is nearly impossible. Yes, I can throw myself into my work, but that doesn't help.
Now, I will have a weekend of despondency. All I have to look forward to is a bottle of Cabernet and pain and anxiety. Then, its back to the salt mine on Monday.
For those who have detected increasing bitterness in my posts these past few months, alot of it has to do with my personal life. I realize that what I have just said makes me fodder for the DUers to mock me, but I really don't give a damn about them. I am REALLY ANGRY that what could have been a beautiful relationship with something close to my ideal has been ruined by some a-shole making a phone call out of the blue and getting what he REALLY wanted (the mattress tango). He was probably just "blocked up" and looking for a booty call.
There is no solution, none.
Hello Fellow Singles,
Been a while since I’ve dropped in, I hope everyone will have a great weekend! Looks like we will be dodging weather here this weekend......glad I didn’t go camping. Anyone from the Southeast looking in?
~Phil
I hope I don't end up starting something ugly by answering this one, but I have a few thoughts on the topic.
First, in almost every case where I've received "the just friends line," the young lady in question had no interest in being my friend. I think I've shared this illustration previously, but I'll share it again. When I've been the recipient of "the just friends line," I've always felt that I'd been cast in a play where the beautiful, gracious princess gently turns aside the inappropriate affections of the grasping troll. She's casting herself as the princess and me as the troll. Needless to say, being rejected is bad enough, but being cast in that light adds insult to injury.
I think part of what bothers me so much is the ill use of the word "friend." In almost every case, "just friends" doesn't mean that she wants to be my friend. Instead, "just friends" means that she wants me to go away. I understand if a woman just wants me to go away, but a real friend is a precious thing. I hate to hear someone use the word "friend" as code for "go away."
In terms of the whole situation, I've become more accepting as I've aged. I've had very good friendships with women for whom I just couldn't develop romantic feelings. We've given each other real time in our lives, and we've both benefited from the friendship. However, the feelings that would allow us to succeed romantically just weren't there. In some of these situations, the women have had real interest in me. I've tried very hard, but I just couldn't return those feelings.
I've not had as many situations that were the opposite. Most of the women who I've found interesting have not been willing to give me serious amounts of their time. There have been one or two exceptions, but they have been true exceptions. Obviously, it's frustrating that no one has been willing to give me that kind of time in return, but I understand that life is busy. I hate to think that we couldn't have developed worthwhile friendships anyway, but maybe in some cases it was easier not to be near them.
Where the acceptance comes in is that I eventually felt that I couldn't blame those women who took one look at me and decided that I wasn't right for them. I think some of them were wrong in their judgment and others were premature in deciding that I couldn't be what they wanted, but I recognized that if I couldn't have feelings for some women, I could understand other women not being able to have feelings for me. I don't know whether I accepted myself first or them first, but I eventually decided that I wasn't going to blame anyone. The situation is no one's fault. It's just one of the cruelties of life.
Getting back to the "just friends" statement, a better way of saying things may be "I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings." That statement doesn't lend itself to the princess and troll act, but the objective shouldn't be to set up that kind of act. This statement makes clear that there will be no romantic relationship but doesn't pretend to promise a friendship.
Bill
Single, but havening to take care of me mum takes most of the time I should be out dating.