The Official Weekend Singles Thread—July 28-30

OhioWfan, Kate of Spice Island, Maximus Ridiculousness

[Maximus_Ridiculousness]

A perspective on marriage, looking for a marriage partner, and cyberdating. 

Presented to you by OhioWfan, Kate of Spice Island, and Maximus Ridiculousness.

OhioWfan's Perspective on Making Marriage Work:

My 'assignment' for this special weekend singles thread was to outline what I believe are the ingredients of a long-term successful, loving marriage.  Obviously, in the 'it takes two to tango' spirit, I engaged my adorable life-partner/incredible husband in the task, and together we compiled a list of recommendations and qualities that we believe have made our marriage work so well.   Neither of us is perfect (especially me........he's close!), but we went into marriage with commitment and thought as well as love, and after 30 years we are more passionately in love than ever before, and are each other's deepest and most trusted friend.

 

We have grouped our thoughts in two categories.......considerations before marriage, and goals as part of marriage.   There is nothing new nor revolutionary here, but we believe these things together have worked to make our marriage incredibly close, and a lot of fun. They are generally applicable, with some specific illustrative examples of our own relationship. 

 

I.    Important things to consider prior to marriage

• Be picky.  Being single is FAR better than being married to the wrong person.  (Women, you are not 'incomplete' without a man......withstand the cultural pressure to get married early).  Wait for the right one, and don't go into marriage with the idea that you can 'fix' the other person.  It doesn't work out that way.

• My personal best advice: Marry somebody much nicer than yourself.  It worked for me. :)

• Become best friends.   Friendship is the most important part of marriage.  Feelings ebb and flow, and circumstances change, but if your spouse is your closest friend, you can weather anything.

• Talk all the time about everything:  Goals, values, beliefs, dreams, raising children and the values and beliefs you want to teach them, money, sex, interests, (politics!).  Make sure you know exactly who you are marrying, and remember that you are going to be sharing a lifetime together so you need to get along.

• Restrain your physical relationship to ensure that a REAL relationship develops. (The current advice is wrong!  You don't need any physical relationship before marriage to find out if it's 'going to work.'  In fact, we believe it 'works' better if you don't).  A great deal of the complete trust that we have in each other stems from the fact that we, with great difficulty, disciplined ourselves to stay pure before we were married.  For us it has made a big difference.

II.    In Marriage

• Communication.  Keep talking about anything and everything, good and bad, but do it with respect ALWAYS.   When you are upset, saying 'It seems to me' and 'It feels like you...'  shows far more respect and calms the waters better than saying 'You do this.'   Keep sharing your goals and dreams and help each other to achieve them.

• Honesty.  (None of this sneaky hinting around to get your own way, ladies).  Tell the truth right out front.  It's refreshing, and it leads to a healthy, non-manipulative relationship.  Don't make your spouse 'guess' about how you feel, and never 'assume' that he/she already knows it. 

• Trust.  It has to be built.   Having shared values is the beginning of trust; living up to those values makes it grow.

• Common values.  Nurture the ones you have discussed prior to marriage. 

 

• Common spiritual goals.  Go to church/synagogue together regularly.  Discuss your faith as it grows.   Read together and discuss what God's word says.   We have, from the beginning, sought to have a marriage that is God-centered, and believe that the depth and joy in our relationship are directly related to God's blessing on our lives.  We both came from strong Christian homes, and knew that it was our goal to have a Christ-centered family, and have worked and prayed to that end.

• A sense of humor.   Laugh often.  Don't take most things too seriously, and be able to laugh at your own foibles.  We happen to have a quirky family with some really off-beat people in it (not me, of course).  That's part of our family identity, and we're proud of it.  We know that other people may think we're a bit weird, but we're OK with that........because we ARE. :)   Oh..........but watch the sarcasm.   If uncontrolled, it can cut deep.

• Random acts of kindness.   I happen to be the recipient of many of these in our relationship.  My husband randomly brings home a lovely red rose with a card that just says "I love you."  It makes my heart melt.

• Encourage and compliment often.  Even if you've said the same thing a million times before, say it again...."You're cute" is a good one.  You can't help but feel loved if your spouse thinks you're adorable at the age of 56!

• Don't let minor irritations blow up into major issues.  Talk about them, but don't overplay their importance. Chances are that a few of them will still be there even after 30 years. :)   Toothpaste tube stuff just isn't worth being mad about.

• Apologize, apologize, apologize.   Sometimes you may think you're only partially to blame, but saying you're sorry for your part in a problem only helps in its solution.  (Note.......I do this a lot because I am often entirely to blame).

• Support each other's interests even if not your own passion.  We have a good example in our relationship.  I love Nelson Eddy/Jeanette MacDonald movies.   Mr. O thinks they're OK, but he watches one whenever I've got a hankering to.... just because he loves me.  And I will watch "Man from Snowy River" with him for the 137th time for the same reason.

• Nurture your relationship.  Protect it from jobs, kids, etc.  According to James Dobson, the best way to love your kids is to love their Mom.  He's right.  We always let our kids know that our relationship came first and they never had a problem with it.  Now that they're adults, they really respect the relationship that they observed growing up and have it as the goal for their own lives.

• Time alone.  Keep 'dating.'  Go off for romantic trysts together.  Set aside time for yourselves because it doesn't just appear.  And if you have kids, try not to talk about them the entire time you're away.  We have celebrated the anniversary of our first date many years, and this year (30th anniversary!) we went to the same restaurant in Pennsylvania that we went to on our first date.  Talk about romantic!

• Hold hands and kiss.........a lot!   This is most likely self-explanatory, but it may need to be said that holding hands is vastly underrated as a sensual tool to keep you 'in touch.'  Sit close in church.   Kiss each other at random moments.   Cuddle at the movies.  Hug whenever possible. It makes a difference.

• Say "I love you" every chance you get.  Make it the last thing you say every time you talk, and just say it 'out of the blue.'  It never gets old to know you are loved.

• Be sexual outside the bedroom (in private!).  No details needed here.  Keep the flame burning.

• Pray together.....any time, any place, any circumstances, and pray for each other.  Most of all, thank God for your husband or wife..........it is a great gift to have a life-partner with whom to share the good and bad times of life.  Be thankful.

• Give and keep giving.   The saying is that you need to give 50-50, but the truth is it has to be 100-100.  And the giving must be done without the expectation that you will 'get' something back for it.  Selflessness.  It's a tough one.

• Respect and honor the other more than you honor yourself.  This grows over time.  What begins as the desire for it to be so, soon becomes the reality.  And make it your goal to care about the other's wants and needs more than you care about your own.......in every area of your relationship.  It's not in our human nature, but it's the only way to make marriage successful and truly happy. 
• Do fun stuff together.  Sports, hiking, walking (a great time for that 'communication' thing), cycling, tennis, ping-pong, basketball, spelunking, white water rafting, wrestling...........hehe..........OR.........you can even read!  A zest for living, physical fitness, and the 'togetherness' you get having fun in an active way are unbeatable.

• And never, ever stop talking.

So............these are the things that we both believe have helped make our marriage strong.   The details may be different for others, but we believe the principles apply for every couple wanting to make their marriage really succeed.  Some people say a good marriage takes 'work,' but we both disagree.  We think that being married and trying to keep our marriage alive is great fun.  It's God's plan, and it's awesome to be right in the middle of it!

Kate and Phil's Story of Love and Marriage

Phil and I first met back in the teen years when I started working at a local drive-in movie theatre where he was employed. There was a "no dating coworkers" policy and we were both into following (some) rules and didn't want to get fired, so we were just friends instead.

 

Apparently, we were both interested in each other, but too shy/insecure/whatever...to say anything, but we became friends.

 

I remember going to his house and he to mine when we were still in high school, but he was older and went off to college. During a few of his weekend visits, we went on a few dates, but then I didn't see him again for a good four or five years.

 

By then I was married AND pregnant, but ran into Phil at work, so it was strange (for both of us apparently) in the wishful thinking at that time. From time to time, I would go by his work and say hi when we were in town. By the time my marriage was definitely over (but I still had hopes of it not being over) Phil had gotten married and although his marriage was heading for over...neither of us was willing to admit that we were

separated from our spouses and divorces were filed.

 

We each went about our lives and once he changed jobs, I had no clue where he was. (Prior to that, where I would visit was a place where I would also visit my bestest high school friend's father as he worked in another department.)

 

Meanwhile, he had been looking for and looking up former classmates and one in particular that I also happened to know. This mutual friend had lived away from where we are now and I had all but given up talking to him ever again, when on a whim I looked him up in the phone book (kind of a one last time deal, as I couldn't remember Phil's last name, I didn't look him up and even if I remembered, I probably could have never spelled it...)

 

So, lo and behold, our mutual friend was listed and had been for a few years and I gave him a call. Meanwhile, between classmates.com and a high school reunion, Phil and our mutual friend had been talking and e-mailing, and Phil asked him if he knew how to get in contact with me, and the friend gave Phil my e-mail address.

 

So, our real official long-term dating was cyber dating as Phil had moved to TX and I was in Phoenix. We went from the occasional e-mail to IM and phone calls and that evolved to a long distance romance.

 

I went to Texas and lived with Phil for a year, but knew my heart was with my children and family. Phil was adamant about staying in TX.

 

Every time Phil asked me to marry him, I asked if he would consider moving to Phoenix. He kept saying no, so I returned to Phoenix.

 

When I ran away to safety and Phil's care I knew he loved me and would take care of me. When he let me go and let me move back to Phoenix to be with my children, I knew he loved me enough to let me go and be where I belonged.

 

When he asked me if I would marry him if he moved to Phoenix, he got the answer I wanted to give him all along.

 

We have been married just over four months and are still working on getting into a life and a routine in Phoenix and still feel like we are trying to get settled in, but we have come a long way together and are looking forward to many years of happiness and joy with my children and grandchild(ren).

 

For how long we have been friends, and the things we liked about each other, are still there.

Getting used to habits has been hard (I am secretive in general and I also kept a few government secrets for a long time that I don't keep secret any more), but by nature I just have never been a "talker", so that is changing.

 

He likes reality TV, my reality is like the TV show, "Medium." We both like "24" and wouldn't want it any other way.

 

We both enjoy sports and look forward to the Cowboys VS Cardinals game later this fall.

 

We managed to attend the same three schools of higher education, just never were both at any one at the same time.

 

I think the biggest piece of advice we can offer the single crowd is don't put yourself above dating anyone with "baggage" as you have clearly got "emotional baggage" in the form of selfishness. I know that God didn't make selfishness, but He did make caring and compassion. A heart of gold is worth far more than a free lunch...

 

When a heart of gold is the heart within, you will find someone for you with that exact same quality.

 

Did I mention that Phil also is conservative and was busy advocating for Bush before we started to discuss politics? I just loved sending him links to caption Kerry two summers ago.

Barb's Two Cents on Being a Newlywed and Some Advice on Cyberdating

Ahhhh...the bliss of being newly married!  What joy!  The birds are singing.  The bees are buzzing.  The flowers are blooming...

Okay, for me our honeymoon was a little different from most.  Actually, our wedding was a little different from most.  You see, hubby and I eloped (with 40 of our closest friends and relatives) in Reno in 2003—four weeks before he was to deploy to Iraq.  We were already engaged, and had planned on a summer wedding, but one cold winter day, hubby got "the call", and three days later we found ourselves in Reno tying the knot.

Our honeymoon consisted of phone calls, emails, letters between here and Iraq—and lots of insomnia.  At first it was strange being married to a man who was suddenly 6500 miles away, and it was even stranger that I could talk to him only when he was able to call me (every two to three weeks or so).

And so it went.

Our "real" honeymoon came 18 months later.  We spent a week in Vegas (yeah, I know some folks find it a tacky place for a honeymoon, but hubby's never been, and I love the Luxor).  We gambled, saw some of the shows, gambled, ate at the various restaurants, gambled, walked the Fremont Street Experience, gambled, got SMASHED in Quark's Bar and harassed a poor Borg and Klingon at the Hilton where they have the Star Trek Experience (we almost got kicked out—but we snapped some hilarious photos), and we gambled some more.

All fun and games aside, our marriage (going on year four now) is a very solid one.  Hubby has a heart of gold, and I could not ask for a better man.  I would have to say that absence made our marriage grow stronger.  We still feel like newlyweds.  We are like “kids” with each other.  We are the two most happy-go-luckiest-people I know, on the planet. 

Some advice on cyberdating.

Back in the day, I was the Queen of Cyberdating.  I started meeting men online as far back as 1996.  Match.com was the ONLY online dating site (with something like, 200 local members).  It took a lot of chatting, meeting bozo after bozo, and dating horrible men who were nothing like their profiles before I realized I was doing everything wrong from the very beginning.  By the time I met my hubby in a Yahoo chatroom by total  accident (most of you know this story)  5 years later, I had finally learned some very big lessons. 

That said, here are some of my do’s and don’ts when it comes to cyberdating:

• Be honest about yourself in your profile, and post an accurate, recent picture of yourself.  By all means, SMILE.  If you don’t, you’ll look angry and unapproachable.   Trust me.  You’ll want a pic (or several pics) of yourself doing some favorite activity, and at least one nice head-and-shoulder shot.
• Be concise and to the point when writing your profile.  Be eloquent, and don’t ramble incessantly.  Poetry is big turn-off for a lot of people.  Unless you are a master, avoid poetry at all costs. You’ll put people to sleep.  List your preferences accurately and pick people to chat with who are close to what you’re looking for.  Don’t fall for an ultra-liberal America-hating chick…just because she’s really hot.
• Try and meet someone who lives within driving distance.  Unless you have the time and money to travel, stick to meeting your potential future spouse  within a reasonable distance from you.  Don’t fall in love with someone you can’t afford to fly out to meet.
• Don’t fall in love with the very first nice looking person (whom you know nothing about) who gives you the time of day.  Stick to your guns.  If you’re looking for your future spouse, keep in mind all of the qualities you are looking for in that person. Don’t ever lose focus.
• Sell yourself.  Tell your potential future spouse what a great person you are.  Don’t be negative or down about yourself.  Don’t appear pathetic.  Be yourself and put your best foot forward.  If you don’t appear to be a reasonably healthy, happy, positive person you’ll scare people away.   Trust me. 

GIRLS:  Meet your potential future spouse in a very public place.  For your very first date, only meet for coffee or drinks where you can chat for as long or as short as you are comfortable with.  It’s easier to split the scene quickly if you are just sipping something, and not in the middle of dinner or stuck with a loser date in the middle of a 3-hour flick.  NEVER leave your drink unattended.  Before you use the restroom, finish your drink, or order a new drink once you’re back to your table.  By all means, drive yourself to your destination, DO NOT EVER let your date pick you up on your first date.  Tell a friend, family member, someone—anyone—where you will be and when you should be home.  Take your cell phone with you.  Park in a visible area.

• This is probably the toughest part about meeting your future spouse—know exactly what you are looking for and settle for nothing less.  Do not fall in love with someone's potential, but for who they really are.   This was the one mistake I made over and over.  Don't ever meet someone and try and fix them later.  Also, be realistic.  Unless you’re a super hot daddy, don’t go looking for a super hot mama. 

 It took me years and years of dating the same type of loser with a different name, and one failed marriage to a closet alcoholic, before I finally ‘grew-up’ and decided I would not settle for anything less anymore. Period.  I literally sat down and made a list of all the attributes I had to have in a man.  In fact, what had happened was I learned the very long and hard way about everything I did not want in a guy  through my own personal trial-and-error. (Mostly error.)  It was only after this personal epiphany that I met my true-love.  And it didn't take long.

 

[snugs]

Museum Curators are very analytical though labeling everything and knowing exactly where it is :0)

[proud_yank]

LOL, I know where my stuff is. In my apartment, in a pile somewhere!!

[darkangel82]

It could be worse! Hillary could be president!

Heaven forbid.

[snugs]

I came from a very conservative church background and whilst it was not said in as many words the thought of pursuing a partner would not have been acceptable.

On the other hand I was enjoying myself with various church activities and getting stuck into my job and pursuring my soccer interests (watching) to think about dating when I was in my 20s.

Probably if I had thought more about it and got involved with different church activities where there were more people of my age - maybe some volunteer work away from home I would be married now but I did not and in many ways I do not regret it because it has enabled me to be there for looking after my parents. In some ways I feel as an only child maybe this was God's plan for me.

Yes life might have been different but I have done many things that if I had been married with children in my 20s and 30s I would not have, (visited the US and Egypt among others).

I suppose I am very much a make the best of things you have and do not dwell on what might have been. Often then I find the what might have been would probably not have been either right or I would probably have found in the long run not that great.

I feel accept what for you have got is important, try to achieve more if you feel something is missing but bottom line to me acceptance is that God knows about it and has not abandoned me even if maybe I have him at times.

God is still in control even if I cannot see it always and that is why I suppose I feel overall contentment when others look at my situation and think that it is bad I can always see good things and enjoy and appreciate what I have got.

Like today the weather was warm but not too hot, had a successful grocery shop, got some lovely raspberries, made some pancakes with them and had a nice pleasant meal. Spent the rest of the evening watching, TV, talking to dad and doing various bits on the computer. Overall not an exciting but a pleasant day.

Had a long chat with Phil this morning about his new job and arranged to go out for meal to celebrate it also for him to come round for meal on Tuesday.

Acceptance on where you are gives one IMHO an inner peace and hope that the future will hold things that at present we cannot even dream of.

[snugs]

That sounds like me

[snugs]

Well I am off to be now the birds are twitting and dawn is here.

Night all

[proud_yank]

Good night! Can't believe you're up so late.

I'm heading home now too.

[Kate of Spice Island]

Bill, Hey!

I just got a chance to sit down and read. It sounds like you are about as uptight as I am/was about religion/church and so forth.

The truth is, you have to feel comfortable in your own skin and not worry about things so much.

I am wondering if you have a decent confidant that you share on a regular basis with.

One of the biggest mistakes that many people make is to hope to find "the one" to pour out all of their thoughts and energies to. Until then, you "bottle up" and keep too much to yourself.

Who do you talk to just for fun AND understanding?

Kate

[bannie]

I was'a plannin' on engineerin' me some stuff. Jes t'other day I engineered me outta' some big ol' mess.

[bannie]

I've spent most of my life in surreal worlds.

:-)

It's better that way.

[Rca2000]

I guess me and you are VERY different, after all!!!

(And I though I was the writer....I am, in fact...But it looks like you are a pretty good writer, too!!)

TO begin with, I do NOT "hate" God at all. Unlike you, I rarely have a day go by nowdays, where some "religious" or "moral" topic is not discussed between me and the people I work with. God has been blessing me a lot lately. if you follow this thread, you will know what I am talking about. I do feel that this is,at least in part, a reward for all of the years of "clean living" and my never-ending habit of trying to educate the uneducated that I come cross, on subjects like abortion, stem-cell research, homosexual marriage and "lifestyles", Staying sexually pure, abstaining from drugs and other such moral and ethicial matters. Unlike many I am NOT shy about those "hot button" subjects--UNLESS I am aware that I am in some situation that it would be better to stay silent.

As for the "other part" of my life--yes, I am still single. I may always be that way-or it COULD change anytime. Either way-I will NOT tell others that leading the true, , pure,Christian-based lifestyle is a waste of time. NOTHING could be farther from the truth!! I feel that as a Christian it is my DUTY to try and spread the truth that sexual immorality and such is NOT acceptable to God. Sure, some churches may be "relaxing their standards" nowdays, and becoming "tolerant and inclusive", as far as the ways of sin are cocerned. However, the bible does NOT say that "we must change for the world". We are to stand FIRM AGAINST the ways of the world!!

Of course, there are some things I would do differently, if I could do it all over again---BUT-- "selling out" would NOT be one of them!!

I do not know what the rest of this year holds. I have already seen a lot of surprises this year, that I could NOT have envisioned. VERY soon, I will again try and get some interest in the novel/script I wrote. I may again be in for another disappointment.but maybe not??

I could talk for many paragraphs about how I have been wronged over the last 25+ years--MANY times, by "Christians", who were either too short-sighted, or foolosh, and caused me a lot of heartache. One example---I have led a TOTALLY drug-free life. However, in the fall of 1985, I was labelled a "drug mule" at my church-- by a YOUTH LEADER-- to COVER UP the truth about the REAL mule-- a college-age girl who was a close friend of the leader, and "loved" by many kids, because she would "get them what they wanted". I was not able to clear up this lie, and was pretty much shunned by the youth group from then on-EXCEPT when they needed to borrow audio equipment or VCR's from me--or wanted advice on how to hook them up. This was for "youth parties" I was NOT invited to, of course--and found out about them later. I dropped out of the youth group, and soon after-the church.

There are MANY other similar, painful events beside this one. However-I will NOT allow all of that to make me resentful at God, because I am alone today. For some reason-this is the way he wants it. Perhaps it is to be an example to others , including some here. To show them that one CAN live a pure life nowdays, and be a witness for God wherever one goes.

DO I feel that I "missed my chance", Yes--I do.kinda........I missed a great opportunity many years ago to have a woman in my life who cared about me, as I was distracted by others. By the time I realized that she wanted more than the surface friendship that we had.........it was too late.

But who knows..maybe things would NOT have worked for us. I do wish things had gone differently, and that I had not been the "pawn" of many cruel women since that time, who only wanted to be a "friend" to me--for a selfish reason, and then, of course, ignore me as soon as they got what they wanted. I do wish that I had not allowed this all to cause me to become hard towards the whole dating scene, and basically ignore that whole part of my life-while pursuing more electronics/computer/science knowledge, and collecting old electronic items.

But I would NOT have changed my moral stance- Not at ALL!! So......I am content as I can be at the moment, in the way things are. Some here and on CM and other places have told me it is too late for me. Maybe so........But maybe not, if God wants it to be different!!

PLEASE do not allow yourslef to become bitter at God due to the fact that you are still single....Perhaps you have been spared some VERY painful times, such as being married to someone who would make you wish you WERE still single!!

[Victoria Delsoul]

LOL, my profile page is a reflection of what I like and nothing else, and many who have visited my page told me how much they enjoyed it. By the way, my latest pic there is from Christmas 2005.

Here is a poem I like:

Remember my Name

Call out my name on the soft summer air,
Murmur it soft and low,
Carve it on trees and whisper where
Fast running rivers flow.

Call it aloud by sweet meadowflowers,
Sing it to birds in the sky,
Cherish it kindly through long youthful hours
as time speeds relentlessly by.

Names can't break bones but it's nonsense to say
They have no power to offend.
They can bitterly wound and eternally stay
Forever, in time without end.

So Victoria is my name please remember it well,
And whether I'm good or I'm not,
Use it to praise or chastise me and tell
The world that you love me a lot.

~ Victoria Tadd

And speaking of songs, hope you like this one...

[Majie Purple]

Thanks for the ping to Corinthians 13 : 4 - 8
scripture!

[Maximus_Ridiculousness]

Hey, whats wrong with poerty? I like it a lot. In fact, as I always say, a song is a poem that likes to dance!

Hey, if poetry works for you, great! If you find that most women respond positively to poetry in your profile, then GREAT! Keep it up!! And if you enjoy poetry in a woman's profile, then that's great too!!

All I'm saying is that, over the last 10 years, most women that I've spoken to about online dating do not respond very positively to most men's attempts at poetry. If you write good poetry and you get positive responses, then you are doing just fine! Don't change what you are doing.

[proud_yank]

I reckon ya fixed up the mess? If ya need any help, weins'll help ya out.

[HitmanLV]

Thanks for sharing that fine poem! As for Gloria Estefan, I am not a fan but in Winter 1989/Spring 1990 I was working at an arena where her people rented it out to rehearse their upcoming concert tour. They were nice, respectful people and on their last day they did a run-though of the concert and we all had a private performance! Lots of fun and wonderful folks!

[Victoria Delsoul]

She's pretty good – a fine entertainer. I was concerned after her accident, but she was able to keep performing as well as she did before.

Here is one more song before I say good night. I'm playing tennis tomorrow/later and swimming after that, hehe.

Nighty night.

[bannie]

Hot damn! A body ken't have too many friends what'll hep y' outta a fix! Y'all need to cetch the next train west! Ifn't y' kent getcherself a train ticket, hetch a ride with'n ona 'm trucks comin' west. They's a passle of 'em what get out here! I'll set out on my porch and a'wait for ya! Look for the cabin with all'a the dawgs under the porch.

(Try spell-checking THAT! HA!)

[pcottraux]

Anyone in the mood for talking to Pcottraux tonight?

[Nowhere Man]

Yeah...I know what you mean.............I am pretty much in the same boat. Pushing 40 now(39 in oct.), and facing a lifetime being alone. It was my own fault, I guess, for allowing a number of bad experiences to cause me to become disinterested in dating, and pursuing women, and also, figuring that "God would send one my way, when the time was right".

It is too late now.Due to my "lack of experience", I am in the postion where few, if any decent women, even Christians, would be willing to bother. This has been told to me here on FR, on CM and other places.

My only hope is that the younger guys here do NOT repeat my mistakes........it gets lonely at Christmas, V-day, and so on!!

And it is ironic, too.Now, I have a bit of money to spend on a woman....and none to spend it on!!

Well, let me jump in. First off wen I say that "God will send the right one to me or me to her," I always took it where when I'm ready for such a thing, it will happen. Also, I know God will help but I will have to do my share of the leg work or even most of it. I think there are some things to where if God helps you, you have to help yourself as well and/or be willing to. Until then, my soon to be 19 year old calico cat, Pansy, it my number one girl. B-D She is pestering me to feed her so that's what brought that on. B-D She goes for a checkup tomorrow, but she seems to be doing quite fine.

One word of advice, ignore the detractors. It is hard I know, but I just ignore them. If they get too out of hand, I just flip them "The Bird" or do it in such a way to where it doesn't look like I'm "flipping The Bird" directly but in a symbolic way. It is better to do the latter or just ignore them depending on the forum's rules you're on, why get "tombstoned" (banned) for something like that?

V-Day, hate it, will do so until such a time when things change. I don't quite have the finds for such an endeavour so women are not part of my life until I get my economy house in order but I'm on my way. Think of it this way, Art Bell, whom I'm listening to, he's 61 and got remarried, if an old coot like him can get married (again), I think it holds out hope for us. Then there is my Jewish great, great uncle from Russia (my great grandmother was a Russian Jew who suffered under the pogroms, she and her two brothers left Russia to escape them) who played the violin at a concert level (some say he did have a Stradavarius, he was successful for a while) if he can get married (again in his case) at 45 or so, then there is always hope and it ain't too late. Of course, in Art's case, it helps to be a talkshow host of big fame or having a matchmaker and the local Jewish communty helping you, ala "Fiddler on the Roof," as in the case of my great, great uncle, but never say, it is too late. I'm 40 myself.

Oh well.........More old Audio equipment, Tv's and radios, I guess!!

I knoe I have to don the asbestos underwear on this one but at least when you have a radio, stereo or TV, if they get on your nerves, you can at least shut those off, pull the plug, and/or yank out the batteries. B-) OK, I'm just joking!!! B-D