Posted on 06/03/2006 9:26:41 PM PDT by STARWISE
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of all the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything: cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. The refrigerator and stove were moved to checked behind them, vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time they had to move out for a few days, and in the end .. they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
NOTHING worked!
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was 1/10th of the worth of the house, but only if she would sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyer delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home .. including the curtain rods.
Ping!
I did enjoy it very much....thank you.
LOL
;)
This is too funny! Thanks for posting it!
You're welcome ... it just cracks me up. Some lurking Hollyweirdo should make it into a movie .. like War of the Roses.
Jeez, no wonder he divorced her, if that's what she's capable of doing after a lucrative divorce settlement, one can only imagine what it was like coming home to her after a hard day's work.
He wouldn't have needed a "girlfriend" if he'd had a happy home life.
kinda like the time the guys at college smeared limberger cheese on the back side of the handrail in the elevator at college
it reeked of cleaner for weeks
How do you kow the wife didn't start screwing her boss during the marriage? You seem to blame him with no detail. From the sounds of it, she's just that type of person.
Oh, and one more thing, you can...............................
VERY funny!
Im printing it out and taking it to work :o)
Oh pull-eeze. It's a JOKE.
Not that I would know anything about that.
:Walks off whistling nonchalantly:
love it
down the air conditioning vents is a better idea...make it sardines...
whistle, whistle....
If by some chance a bottle of nail polish remover should fall into the windshield washer fluid terrible things could result.
You have to be very careful not to let that happen.
now that's just wrong! hehheh...
Very cunning, huh?
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