Posted on 04/21/2006 7:40:22 AM PDT by BJClinton
Happy Friday everyone! The monster storms last night knocked out power and turned my alarm off. It also jacked with the clock on my coffee grinder/brewer. Not cool. Anywho, please, let the silliness begin!.
LOL...highly unlikely.
POEM - Illegal Immigrants
I cross border,
poor and broke,
Take bus,
see employment folk.
Nice man
treat me good in there,
Say I need
go see Welfare.
Welfare say,
"You come no more,
We send cash
right to your door."
Welfare checks,
they make you wealthy,
Medicaid
it keep you healthy!
By and by,
Got plenty money,
Thanks to you,
TAXPAYER dummy.
Write to friends
in motherland,
Tell them
'come, fast as you can'
They come by foot
and Ford trucks,
I buy big house
with welfare bucks.
They come here,
we live together,
More welfare checks,
it gets better!
Fourteen families,
they moving in,
But neighbor's patience
wearing thin.
Finally, white guy
moves away,
..
I buy his house,
and then I say,
"Find more aliens
for house to rent."
In my yard
I put a tent.
Send for family
they just trash,
...
But they, too,
draw welfare cash!
Everything is
very good,
Soon we own
whole neighborhood.
We have hobby
it called breeding,
Welfare pay
for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist?
Wife need pills?
We get free!
We got no bills!
TAXPAYER crazy!
He pay all year,
To keep welfare
running here.
We think Canada/America
darn good place!
Too darn good
for white man race.
If they no like us,
they can scram,
Got lots of room
in Pakistan.
That's Ilene.
Those are fabulous.
I went to a Candy/Barr wedding.
Yoi, she looks like his aunt.
Yoi....... she looks like a serial killer.
I dated a girl named Tinnie Dickie.
;-)
"I got a million of 'em."
Memories! Yoi.....they are great!
I thought it was called "Jumbo" in da Burgh? I'm a chippedham man myself! :)
Is the Superbowl over yet? We won!?!??!? Awesome! Woo hoo!
I've seen that pic a few times and often wondered if that photo was done by the officer and his son. It's a classic
HA! Your post, MarineBrat, brought back some memories! I was born and raised in PIT, moved to NYC in 1966. I was a poor flight attendant...ate well on flights, but couldn't afford much on days off. So I went into a Manhattan deli shop, asked for a pound of jumbo. The guy behind the counter said, "Whadda want, lady?" I repeated, "A pound of jumbo."
He said, "I have jumbo shrimp, jumbo pickles... Whadda ya want?
I said, "A pound of jumbo." This went on several times.
Finally he said, "Get outta my store! Next!"
I didn't know what I did wrong! I stood outside trying to understand.....never did....until many years later.
True story! I know, only someone from Pittsburgh would appreciate this!
Oh yes, a friend of mine asked for chipped ham when she moved to California. They had no idea what she meant.
I do love Pittsburgh!
Nurses…..God love em!
Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell? It took her two weeks to realize she wasn’t at work!
You know you’re a nurse if…you would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley!
Your sense of humor gets more warped each year. Almost everything can seem humorous….eventually.
You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it.
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing than they know.
You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.
You’ve been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another table throw up.
You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you did before you stated nursing.
Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you.
You live by the motto “to be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult.”
You’ve told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker and to holler if they need help.
Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago’s water tank.
You find yourself checking out other customer’s veins in grocery waiting lines.
You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will drop near you and you’ll have to do CPR on your day off.
Your finger has gone places you never thought possible.
You have seen more penises than any prostitute.
If you are not a nurse and have been sent this by a friend who is, it’s just to help you understand our mind set and questionable mental status/sanity. Most of the time we function in spite of this sick sense of humor, fairly normally and very responsibly. Believe me, this how we think, ALL OF THE TIME Scary huh?
A cheerful heart is good medicine!!!
Leno used to do a bunch of them on his show. I don't know if he still does it, but they were great.
LOL ........ it is jumbo. Boy, that stuff is/was good.
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