Posted on 03/03/2006 5:38:05 AM PST by Xenophobic Alien
OMG that is funny.
Only if I were wearing protective gloves and soaked my hands in betadine first.
Is mayhem conspiracy a crime? >:-}
Thank YOU!
Thank you very much!
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
In some states I believe there is a "Conspiracy to Commit Mayhem" charge....
black hair dye
super glue
an electric shaver
tweezers
I haven't seen one of these in months.
That sounds like a Witness Protection Program Starter Kit.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
I'm not in Phoenix, though my employer is. I get to visit every year, see the sights... some of the local hot spots...
I'll dance for ya'll
I was just in Phoenix two weekends ago!
My dad lives in Tempe by the campus.
My Aunt lives in Mesa, and my Uncle lives in El Mirage.
And there I was losing brain cells watching "Deal or No Deal"
SD
Wow!
Do you know my husband?
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