Posted on 01/22/2006 9:30:38 PM PST by hsmomx3
Does anyone know of a good Christian divorce lawyer in the Phoenix area?
I hate the thought of doing this but my husband is having an affair with someone at work and he appears to be going thru a midlife crisis as well.
This breaks my heart yet he continues saying he believes God brought he and this woman together.
We have children as well and it is hurting all of us.
Husbands and wives today are so selfish, if they are each not constantly petted like precious pets, they think its all over.
If your assertion here is that one expecting fidelity from a spouse is somehow being pampered and selfish...well, if that is your assertion, we need no further argument, as we will have NO common ground.
One of the problems is now a days, is infidelity to some degree is readily available with no effort.
In the old days I suppose men and women had to find affairs at the local watering holes, women stayed home and having an affair took effort to find and hide.
Speed up to the High Tech World, now you have Computers The Internet, Cell Phones, text messaging, email, it takes no effort. People that are unhappy for a day a month a year or all the time can find someone other, than spouse to play around with.
How many married men look at Porn? does that set them up to find Sally, Linda or Maryjane in real life????
I believe Commitment and loyalt,y values and a GOD centered life is what keeps you in line from crossing lines.. No one always feels madly inlove with thier spouse, because they are human and can make many mistakes that irritate you, wether it's you're husband leaving his hair in the sink and not washing it down the drain or dropping food on the floor and not picking it up because his eyes are focused on television habits are annoying....
Cleanliness is next to Godliness...
I am sorry you are going through such pain. You and your children are in my prayers tonight.
"he does not make enough money as it is but he refuses to get a better paying job. with his skills he can get a better job."
Get an attorney, file for divorce, keep the kids and take him to the cleaners for child support and alimony.
Or you can choose to be the "other" woman who takes care of his kids while he's out screwing around.
BTW I would not necessarily insist on a "Christian" lawyer. You need a mad dog snarly mean lawyer who is more than happy to take your cheating husband to the cleaners. As long as it is costing him nothing, then he's got nothing to lose.
Good luck. We'll all be praying for you.
"I believe Commitment and loyalt,y values and a GOD centered life is what keeps you in line from crossing lines.."
This is what I used to think because my husband has been a born-again Christian for about 30 years and look what is happening to us.
And we have raised our kids as christians and I as the stay at home mom who homeschooled her kids.
He needs to be purged of the evil that has led him to this. He needs to be born again again. My prayers are with him as well.
I know a Catholic hitman in Nevada. :-)
((((((HUGS))))))
Okay, now that I have hugged you and wiped away my own tears, you need to know that you are not to blame. People have marriage problems. People go without having sex for periods of time. People have other people flirt with them. This doesn't mean that an affair is the responsibility of the uncheating spouse. This is not your fault. You deserve to be loved and appreciated. This is very biblical.
To echo the sentiments of others, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. If this man becomes violent or threatening, call the police. Go to the best attorney you can find and see if you can work out the retainer situation. As others have said, think pit bull.
Some women I have known have slept with their husbands when they were in the middle of affairs. Bad idea. Very bad idea for health reasons.
Get copies of the cell phone records, credit card records, any e-mails that you have intercepted, etc. Take them to the attorney at the first visit. Mail a copy to your relatives, along with any personal belongings that you do not want to see destroyed.
To echo John O, you must protect yourself and your children. I would also start a bank account, have a garage sale (just your stuff), and put the proceeds in your account.
Your husband may be born again, but he certainly isn't acting like one.
Also, contact HSLDA.org. You might be able to get some free legal advice, as well as financial help, since you are homeschooling.
Your husband has abandoned your marriage, but God has not abandoned you. Nor will we.
God bless you,
Andie
It is modern day, Liberated women who think men really do this sort of soul searching.
Maintaining a marriage means treating a man like a MAN! And I dont mean sitting at his feet or baking cookies!
Victorian women, as oppressed as we "think" they were, knew the score. Give a man what he needs in HIS terms..and a woman RULES the relationship.
Men are NOT women, men do not act think or feel like women.
Yep. I was raised to believe that I was "all that". Just because I gave it up, you know, my wishes should be his desire.
But men are people too..and pretty much emotionally challenged. If women knew this as they used to, there would be fewer divorces!
Then why is love a commandment? Love is NOT EASY after so many years, so many trials. Nope. FEELING love is easy, MAKING love is easy.
Loving someone when they are NOT LOVABLE is NOT easy. It is WORK. I know. been there for years!
Two wrongs do not make a right in Christian marriage.
Love is not a rose garden..well it is, but there are thorns.
The wife bears responsibility..wheteher she likes it or not, whether it is fair or not.
What made this man seek another?, HUH? Because the wife was perfect? Too few women seek the answer with themselves. Too often the husbands feelings are overlooked.
Cant come back till tomorrow, husband hungry.
Ee - I think that most of what you have said in regard to a Christian marriage is correct - EXCEPT in the case of adultery (or abuse). Adultery destroys the heart of the marriage; the intimacy and trust that makes marriage possible. I'm only saying this because I fear that by one spouse thinking he/she can "love" the adulterous spouse back into the marriage she's setting herself up to fail. He's already left the marriage.
I did ask him why he did this and what I did and he said it has absolutely nothing to do with me, that he did not seek this, it just happened and now he feels God has brought them together which is hogwash, IMO.
Eequalsmc2, you write like a man.
You are wrong. Love doesn't waver. You can be upset at someone or disappointed or even angry, but if you really love someone, that love doesn't change, ever.
I will pray for you, I hope you can forgive them both too.
Also the result of having seen a lawyer already. He's either working somewhere for extra money under the table or he's waiting until the child support has been figured and then he will find himself a better paying job.
Get yourself to the best lawyer you can find NOW.
Not like the man I'm married to, for which I thank God each and every day!
Happy birthday, dear.
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