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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread ****
The OFST ^ | 1/20/2006 | .

Posted on 01/20/2006 5:48:08 AM PST by BJClinton

It's Friday, the playoffs are in full swing...yup, it's a good time to be alive.



TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: broncoshaftawin; expensivetickets; gobroncos; gosteelers; hubbyboughttickets; keywords; ofst; rectalthermometer; steelerssuck; steelerswon; tearinmybeer; tgif; zot
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To: Millee


Scorpio, Gemini, Leo, Taurus, Capricorn, & Cancer

381 posted on 01/20/2006 9:06:40 AM PST by MadCharity (If only the week could go by as fast as the hour of 24 does!!!)
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To: Dashing Dasher; All
Checking in. Sorry I'm late. Just got down off the mast of the USS Enterprise, and finally caught up on the OFST. Beautiful women...one from the vaults. They don't make them like this anymore.
382 posted on 01/20/2006 9:06:50 AM PST by fredhead (The NAVY - Full Speed Ahead (or is it Astern?))
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To: fredhead
Image hosting by Photobucket
383 posted on 01/20/2006 9:09:07 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Saving the Republic - one joke at a time)
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To: Dashing Dasher

I'll have to look at that later. Work has photobucket blocked.


384 posted on 01/20/2006 9:10:29 AM PST by fredhead (The NAVY - Full Speed Ahead (or is it Astern?))
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To: Dashing Dasher
Cool...
385 posted on 01/20/2006 9:11:38 AM PST by EX52D (They say that anger is just love disappointed...)
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To: HOTTIEBOY

re the dog with long tongue picture - not man's best friend. A woman's best friend?


386 posted on 01/20/2006 9:16:30 AM PST by llevrok (Drink your beer, damnit! There are people in Africa sober!.)
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To: EX52D

Great Bumper Stickers

1. Constipated People Don't Give A Sh*t.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11. If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
26. Illiterate? Write For Help
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside Down On A Jeep]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
44. Ask Me About Ebonics
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
46. Boldly Going Nowhere
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
47. Cat: The Other White Meat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
49. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
55. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
59. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
60. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder


387 posted on 01/20/2006 9:17:03 AM PST by MadCharity (If only the week could go by as fast as the hour of 24 does!!!)
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To: BJClinton
Image hosting by Photobucket
388 posted on 01/20/2006 9:19:17 AM PST by Sonora
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To: BJClinton

389 posted on 01/20/2006 9:19:24 AM PST by Maximus of Texas (On my signal, unleash the V-8 Interceptor!)
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To: fredhead

390 posted on 01/20/2006 9:20:06 AM PST by CJ Wolf (BTW can someone add 'zot' to the FR spellchecker?)
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To: Maximus of Texas

What's with some women not washing their hair? Is Greta a lesbian, too?

391 posted on 01/20/2006 9:24:30 AM PST by hattend (I wanna go through the Stargate!)
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To: r-q-tek86

Sank you. Unt, remember, ze penalty for violating the OFST Oass is dess......


392 posted on 01/20/2006 9:24:32 AM PST by StrangerInParadise (The Boogey Man checks under his bed to make sure Joe Gibbs isn't there before he goes to sleep!)
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To: hattend

Things That Sound Dirty at the Office but Aren't

I need to whip it out by 5.

Mind if I use your laptop?

Just stick it in my box.

If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!

I want it on my desk, NOW!!!

Hmmmm...I think it's out of fluid!

My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.

It's an entry-level position.

When do you think you'll be getting off today?

It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there!

Have you checked your hard disk for viruses?

I've increased my RAM for more power.


393 posted on 01/20/2006 9:25:01 AM PST by MadCharity (If only the week could go by as fast as the hour of 24 does!!!)
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To: MadCharity

LOL...good ones.


394 posted on 01/20/2006 9:27:47 AM PST by EX52D (They say that anger is just love disappointed...)
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To: CJ Wolf

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Boomer


395 posted on 01/20/2006 9:28:15 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: BJClinton

"Former Vice President Al Gore gave a passionate 10 minute
speech where he criticized President Bush for, quote,
repeatedly breaking the law. Those who heard the speech
called it the worst elevator ride ever." --Conan O'Brien


396 posted on 01/20/2006 9:29:42 AM PST by tje
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To: Maximus of Texas
It's way up there on Brokeback Mountain

Hey!!

397 posted on 01/20/2006 9:30:58 AM PST by hattend (I wanna go through the Stargate!)
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To: MadCharity

Excellent tagline material!


398 posted on 01/20/2006 9:32:57 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Saving the Republic - one joke at a time)
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To: EX52D

Love the Nagin Bar -- with nuts, no less! ROFL!


399 posted on 01/20/2006 9:33:42 AM PST by Chanticleer (Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. Lewis)
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To: CJ Wolf

Soft Porn FOUL!


400 posted on 01/20/2006 9:33:53 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (Saving the Republic - one joke at a time)
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