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Woman claims nutshell from Wal-Mart contained condom
The Aspen Times ^ | 1/4/06 | Dennis Webb

Posted on 01/04/2006 1:46:02 PM PST by Millee

A woman who lives near Silt says her husband found a condom in a shell of one of the nuts she purchased in bulk at Wal-Mart in Rifle.

Diane Geist brought home the mixed nuts, still in their shells, over the holidays. She said her husband, Brian, discovered a condom in one on the morning of New Year's Eve when he was reading a book and dining on some nuts at their home south of Silt.

"My husband cracked open a hazelnut and a condom popped out. He couldn't believe it. He just sort of sat there and stared at it and he said, 'You wouldn't believe what I found in this nut,'" Geist said Tuesday.

She assumed he might have been talking about a bug. But it turned out to be a bright-yellow condom, still rolled up, she said.

Geist said she called the Wal-Mart supercenter in Rifle, where she had bought the nuts from a bulk bin about a week before Christmas, and spoke to an assistant manager who told her how to contact the nut supplier, Diamond Foods. The two also had a good laugh over the incident, Geist said.

"It's just too funny," Geist said.

A Wal-Mart corporate spokeswoman, Karen Burk, said Tuesday she thought it odd that Geist hadn't brought the condom and nutshell pieces to the store.

"We have no way of knowing if this was indeed an actual incident," she said.

"If that happened we certainly would want them to bring it to us and let us look at it and investigate it. We would encourage that because we want to make sure something like that doesn't happen," she said.

Geist said she could understand Wal-Mart being skeptical.

"I would be too; it's crazy," she said.

But she decided to make a trip to the store later Tuesday.

"I'll baggie up the evidence and run it down there," she said.

Afterward, she reported that an assistant manager photographed the evidence, then asked Geist what she should do next. Geist suggested e-mailing the photo to corporate offices but also said she didn't want to give up the condom.

"We probably won't throw it away for a while. It's too funny of a souvenir," she said.

But for now, the evidence is in police custody, after Geist decided she should report the incident to Rifle police late Tuesday afternoon.

Police Chief Daryl Meisner said he hadn't had a chance to look into the matter in depth but wasn't sure what laws were violated, if any.

"We're trying to figure out what we can do, if anything," he said.

Vicki Zeigler, public relations manager for Diamond Foods, said tampering with food is a federal offense.

"People that do that, it's pretty despicable," she said.

Meisner said he has heard that condoms sometimes are distributed in nutshells in bars around the country. He said he wonders if one of them ended up in the Wal-Mart bulk bin.

As it turns out, the website www.thisistrue.com says Reuters reported an incident in which an Ontario woman found a condom in a walnut from a grocery store.

"Apparently, a nearby sex shop sells condoms in plastic nutshells, and someone tossed one into the supermarket's bin as a joke," the site says.

Told of that report, Meisner said, "I'm suspecting something like that here, but I'm not sure how it got into a shell that doesn't appear to be plastic."

Burk and Zeigler both expressed surprise at a condom being able to fit into the relatively small shell of a hazelnut. Geist agreed it was a tight fit. She said her husband speculates that the shell had been cut in half and glued back together.

Meisner, who didn't see signs of sawing or gluing, said he doesn't doubt the Geists' story. Geist said it's not something she could have concocted if she tried.

"It's so bizarre, I'm not clever enough to make up something that crazy," she said.

She said she has no interest in pursuing it from a legal standpoint.

"No one was in danger. It was just a practical joke," she said.

Besides, she said, "I don't think a judge would give any money for a condom in a nut."

But she said the incident makes her wonder if other tampered nuts are out there, and whether someone would put something dangerous in one. Both Wal-Mart and Diamond Foods share that concern.

"We want to make sure we're only putting safe, quality products on our shelves for our customers," said Burk, Wal-Mart's spokeswoman.

"We're very, very dismayed and we do take it very seriously and we definitely do investigate," Zeigler said.

Neither she nor Burk was aware of similar incidents of tampering occurring with the nuts they sell.

Zeigler said she hates to speculate, "but it could have been a prank played by almost anybody."

She said Diamond gets its hazelnuts from reliable companies and uses an internal lab and constant inspections of its products.

"We know they're good when they leave our plant. Once they leave our control, they're out of our control," she said.

One problem with unpackaged products is that they are more susceptible to tampering, she said. She said Diamond is moving toward more packaged nuts.

"We found that a lot of consumers prefer packaged products because of this type of thing or just because it's in a sealed package," she said.

"I know I'm not buying things out of a bin anymore," Geist said. "It's kind of creepy."

But it could have been worse. At least the condom hadn't been used.

"Oh God, that would freak me out," she said.

As for the rest of the nuts she had bought?

"My husband finished them off," Geist said.


TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: bustanut; nuts; nutsack
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1 posted on 01/04/2006 1:46:03 PM PST by Millee
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To: Millee
Geist agreed it was a tight fit

There's a joke in there somewhere.

2 posted on 01/04/2006 1:48:45 PM PST by Horatio Gates (Optimist sees the donut, pessimist sees only the hole.)
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To: Millee
"My husband busted a nut... and there it was!"

C'mon... nobody falls for the old condom in the nuts trick. Just a guy trying to cover his tracks...
3 posted on 01/04/2006 1:49:19 PM PST by YouPosting2Me
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To: Horatio Gates

Must have been a nut from a rubber tree.


4 posted on 01/04/2006 1:49:28 PM PST by Ditto ( No trees were killed in sending this message, but billions of electrons were inconvenienced.)
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To: Millee

Those folks in Rifle havent been the same since the nuclear tests.


5 posted on 01/04/2006 1:50:39 PM PST by Tijeras_Slim ("We're a meat-based society.")
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To: Ditto

LOL!


6 posted on 01/04/2006 1:50:42 PM PST by Horatio Gates (Optimist sees the donut, pessimist sees only the hole.)
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To: Millee

The Nut doesn't fall far from the Condom Tree.


7 posted on 01/04/2006 1:51:35 PM PST by TexasCajun
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To: Horatio Gates
Besides, she said, "I don't think a judge would give any money for a condom in a nut."

But the reverse may be true.

8 posted on 01/04/2006 1:52:09 PM PST by MarineBrat (Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.)
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To: Millee
Afterward, she reported that an assistant manager photographed the evidence, then asked Geist what she should do next. Geist suggested e-mailing the photo to corporate offices but also said she didn't want to give up the condom.

"We probably won't throw it away for a while. It's too funny of a souvenir

Obviously government school educated if this condom has now become a family heirloom.

9 posted on 01/04/2006 1:52:22 PM PST by RetiredArmy (I have no faith in any politician or political party any more. They all lie for their agendas.)
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To: Ditto; All

LOL! I knew the responses would be good. :-D


10 posted on 01/04/2006 1:54:47 PM PST by Millee (I resolve to eat and drink less.....until noon that is.....)
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To: Ditto

That's what you get when you buy condomnuts.


11 posted on 01/04/2006 1:58:20 PM PST by Francis McClobber
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To: Millee

The prankster's not too smart, it's supposed to be on the outside.


12 posted on 01/04/2006 1:58:25 PM PST by jazusamo (A Progressive is only a Socialist in a transparent disguise.)
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To: Millee

God's trying to tell her something.


13 posted on 01/04/2006 2:00:16 PM PST by My2Cents (Dead people voting is the closest the Democrats come to believing in eternal life.)
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To: Millee

What the??????


Oh Millee LOL


14 posted on 01/04/2006 2:03:09 PM PST by PaulaB
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To: Millee

I don't think the nuts are at wal-mart......


15 posted on 01/04/2006 2:06:27 PM PST by InsureAmerica (Evil? I have many words for it. We are as dust, to them. - v v putin)
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To: TexasCajun

Sorry, I just don't get it. We have Wal*Mart, possible nut allergy, PLS (Proscribed Latex Syndrome) and no Law Suit?

About 18 or so years ago I sold 740 producing Pecan trees and not ONCE, while I harvested that grove, did ONE nut produce anything other than a Pecan.


16 posted on 01/04/2006 2:08:31 PM PST by Texas WOP
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To: Texas WOP

Would it be possible for a shell to form around a foreign object?


17 posted on 01/04/2006 2:11:42 PM PST by RightWhale (pas de lieu, Rhone que nous)
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To: Horatio Gates
There's a joke in there somewhere.

A condom in the...so she claimed, when actually it was the other way 'round.

18 posted on 01/04/2006 2:15:11 PM PST by KC Burke (Men of intemperate minds can never be free....)
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To: RightWhale

A tree limb, Yes. A tree root, Absolutely. Nuts grow from the inside out. If I could have developed a tree to produce pecan bearing condoms, why wouldn't I make one which could produce those little bottles of Captain Morgans Spiced Rum? RW, WAIT! I'm not busting your chops, 'K? There's agriculture and there's fantasy.


19 posted on 01/04/2006 2:36:19 PM PST by Texas WOP
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To: jazusamo

doesn't it seem odd to get your nut, THEN find a condom?


20 posted on 01/04/2006 2:57:44 PM PST by yer gonna put yer eye out (To liberals, using large words is an acceptable substitute for logic...)
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