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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread ****
&^#$%%@# ^ | 12/09/2005 | theUsualSuspects

Posted on 12/09/2005 7:30:18 AM PST by BJClinton

Note to self: use anti-freeze when temperatures drop.

Alrighty, sorry for the delay. Apparently it got kinda cold last night and my truck wasn't too cool with that.



TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: antifreeze; ofst; tgif; tgis
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To: Fierce Allegiance
YOU ARE THE REASON FOR FIERCE ALLEGIANCE DAY

Which is always celebrated with a case of beer.

With one case on standby for suck emergencies.

381 posted on 12/09/2005 10:44:43 AM PST by JimWforBush (3 things I won't discuss...Politics, Religion and The Great Pumpkin)
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To: EX52D

Well, I dont actually own any jammies so I was really just in sweats. I did take a "lunch break" and shovel snow for a while......lol.


382 posted on 12/09/2005 10:45:11 AM PST by day10 (Wherever you come near the human race there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
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To: day10

My birthday is November 30 and said the same thing.


383 posted on 12/09/2005 10:45:12 AM PST by Auntbee (I love football season!!)
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To: BureaucratusMaximus
Hmmmmm....

Your Pimp Name Is...
Suede Dazzle
What's Your Pimp Name?

384 posted on 12/09/2005 10:47:08 AM PST by Peepster (If guns kill people, than spoons make Michael Moore fat!!)
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To: The_Victor

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night. I work all day.

Mounties : He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.


Mounties: He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.

I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.

Mounties : He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.

I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Mama (or Papa in later versions)


Mounties : He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!

Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.

Yes, I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) ok-a-y.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.


385 posted on 12/09/2005 10:47:46 AM PST by Xenophobic Alien (Kerry lost. Please take that stupid bumper sticker off your car!)
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To: JimWforBush
What is Fierce Allegiance Day, you ask? It is a day of celebrating the ideals of Fierce Allegiance. God, family, country, motorsports, working hard and playing hard, not necessarily in that order, make up that which is most important.

Fierce Allegiance Day should be celebrated like a combination of a Saturday Night Dirt track race, Mothers Day, Independence Day and New Years Eve and a day at the beach. It is understood that February is not really the ideal time for a day at the beach for most celebrants, so it is not law that it be celebrated on the beach, but highly advisable if possible. Daytona is the place to be on Fierce Allegiance Day always means the smell of citrus mixed with tire smoke is in the air in the Daytona/New Smyrna area.

Beer and hot wings are used in the celebration, much like wine and unleavened bread in catholic mass, as are fireworks and hugs & kisses for the loved ones. Also important is getting on loudest, fastest “toy” one can, like a motorcycle, snowmobile or an atv! Celebrations suggestions also include the use of heavy construction equipment and chainsaws. Smoked tires, diesel exhaust and 2-stroke smoke, in moderation, are known aphrodisiacs.

Fierce Allegiance day is the creation of Bob and Janet “Allegiance” and started back on February 9th, 1966. This year, 2005, marks the 39 iteration of Fierce Allegiance Day.

Should you have any questions, please contact me, Fierce Allegiance, at FierceAllegianceFreeper@yahoo.com

386 posted on 12/09/2005 10:48:37 AM PST by Fierce Allegiance (I will prevail. I miss my best friend.)
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To: day10

Wow, I can't remember the last time I shoveled snow...LOL


387 posted on 12/09/2005 10:48:39 AM PST by EX52D ((I have shifted to "Christmas Survival Mode"))
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To: demkicker

Cute :)


388 posted on 12/09/2005 10:51:00 AM PST by MotleyGirl70
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To: Xenophobic Alien


389 posted on 12/09/2005 10:51:00 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: Xenophobic Alien

Barbie
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245

Santa Claus
North Pole, North Pole
December 03, 2005

Dear Santa:

Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and
trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list for 2005:


Santa:

1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker.
How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?

2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to
cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!

3. A REAL man...maybe GI Joe. Hell, I'd take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boytoy Ken. And what's with that earring anyway? If I'm gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.

4. Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.

5. Breast reduction surgery. I don't care whose arm you have to twist, get it done.

6. A jogbra. To wear until I get the surgery.

7. A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don't cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet,
a public relations senior account exec!

8. A new, more 00s persona. Maybe "PMS Barbie", complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; "Animal Rights Barbie", with my very own paint gun, outfitted with a fake fur coat, bottle of spray on blood and handcuffs; or "Stop Smoking Barbie," sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.

9. No more McDonald's endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.

10. Mattel stock options. It's been 37 years--I think I deserve it.

Ok, Santa, that's it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don't think these requests are out of line.
If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new bitch for next Christmas.

It's that simple.

Yours truly,
Barbie


390 posted on 12/09/2005 10:52:26 AM PST by Peepster (If guns kill people, than spoons make Michael Moore fat!!)
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To: MotleyGirl70
My workday is done! Have a good weekend, everyone!


391 posted on 12/09/2005 10:54:24 AM PST by Fierce Allegiance (I will prevail. I miss my best friend.)
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To: Peepster

Ken
c/o Mattel, Inc.
El Segundo, CA 90245

Santa Claus
North Pole, North Pole
December 03, 2005

Dear Santa:

I understand that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for changes in her contract, specifically asking for anatomical and career changes. In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging remarks were made about me, my ability to please, and some of my fashion choices. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you of some issues concerning Ms. Barbie, and some of my own needs
and desires.

First of all, I along with several other colleagues feel Barbie DOES NOT deserve preferential treatment - the bitch has everything. Along with Joe, Jem, Raggedy Ann & Andy, I DO NOT have a dream house, corvette, evening gowns, and in some cases the ability to change our hair style. I personally have only 3 outfits which I am forced to mix and match at great length.

My decision to accessorize my outfits with an earring was my decision and reflects my lifestyle choice.

I too would like a change in my career. Have you ever considered "Decorator Ken", "Beauty Salon Ken", or "Out Of Work Actor Ken"? In addition, there are several other avenues which could be considered such as "S&M Ken" , "Green Lantern Ken", "Circuit Ken", "Bear Ken", "Master Ken". These would more accurately reflect my desires and perhaps open up new markets. And as for Barbie
needing bendable arms so she can "push me away," I need bendable knees so I can kick the bitch to the curb. Bendable knees would also be helpful for me in other situations - we've talked about this issue before.

In closing, I would like to point out that any further concessions to the blond bimbo from hell will result
in action be taken by myself and others. And Barbie can forget about having Joe - he's mine, at least that's what he said last night.

Sincerely,

Ken


392 posted on 12/09/2005 10:54:45 AM PST by Peepster (If guns kill people, than spoons make Michael Moore fat!!)
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To: Auntbee

I dont understand much of it - the "power stuff" anyway....


393 posted on 12/09/2005 10:56:04 AM PST by day10 (Wherever you come near the human race there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
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To: Fierce Allegiance

Late FA.

Have a good weekend.


394 posted on 12/09/2005 10:56:06 AM PST by JimWforBush (3 things I won't discuss...Politics, Religion and The Great Pumpkin)
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To: Fierce Allegiance

Lucky you. Have a great weekend.


395 posted on 12/09/2005 10:56:41 AM PST by Auntbee (I love football season!!)
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To: JimWforBush

Late=Later


396 posted on 12/09/2005 10:57:07 AM PST by JimWforBush (3 things I won't discuss...Politics, Religion and The Great Pumpkin)
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To: Peepster; EX52D

Hmmm - my pimp name once was "Professor Kisses" and my friend EX52D has never lt me forget it.....


397 posted on 12/09/2005 10:58:48 AM PST by day10 (Wherever you come near the human race there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
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To: Fierce Allegiance
You can't go yet. The architects aren't even out of bed yet.
398 posted on 12/09/2005 10:58:53 AM PST by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: day10

Me neither. Especially the power symbol: inverted triangle? What the heck does that mean???


399 posted on 12/09/2005 10:59:09 AM PST by Auntbee (I love football season!!)
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To: BureaucratusMaximus
Your Pimp Name Is...
Master Fly Tease
What's Your Pimp Name?

I don't get it

400 posted on 12/09/2005 10:59:12 AM PST by JimWforBush (3 things I won't discuss...Politics, Religion and The Great Pumpkin)
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