Parody ZOT of Free Republic

[TheMadLurker]

If you have a sense of humor, and can poke fun at yourself:

http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/fear4republic/

[tuliptree76]

You missed a couple of zeros.

[Kindly Old Doc Tsu]

evening, tulip tree, whuzzup?

[tuliptree76]

Not much is going on here. How are you doing?

[NicknamedBob]

Hey, Doc. Are you going to ride with us when we take off for Mars?

We could use someone who has experience with animals, since we plan to take quite a few along with us.

It seems our erstwhile astronauts don't want to give up the comforts of home, so we're taking them with us.

Has anyone explained to you the certifiably insane idea we've been discussing? We're taking the Flying Castle into outer space.

(Darks, I just want you to know I almost spelled astronaut with two esses. Darn it looked appropriate!)

[tuliptree76]

Darks must be lurking.

In addition to someone who has experience with animals, we can also use someone who is a medical doctor.

[NicknamedBob]

Jamestown (jâmz´toun´), former village, SE Va., first permanent English settlement in America; est. May 14, 1607, by the London Company on a peninsula (now an island) in the James R.; named for the reigning English king, JAMES I. Disease, starvation, and attacks by Native Americans decimated the settlement, and the remaining colonists prepared to return; but new settlers and supplies were sent, and Lord DE LA WARR arrived in 1610.

John SMITH was an early colonial leader. John ROLFE began the cultivation of tobacco there in 1612; in 1614 he married POCAHONTAS, assuring peace with the indigenous people. The first representative government in the colonies met there (1619); Jamestown was capital of VIRGINIA through most of the 17th cent.

The village was almost entirely destroyed during Bacon's Rebellion (1676; BACON, NATHANIEL). The site, which contains the old church tower (c.1639), some original gravestones, and many replicas of the early settlement, is mainly administered by the U.S. government.

[tuliptree76]

Even though I'm Dr. Tulip, the most I can do if someone has a cough is give them a cough drop and some tea.

[NicknamedBob]

That's all right. I'd feel better if I were sipping tea with a little honey.

[Kindly Old Doc Tsu]

Busy day. Everybody and his dog has the epizootis and they were all in my office today hacking and wheezing. I'm sure I would have caught it myself, but i already had it. My trainer (horses, not a personal trainer) gave it to me. He swears up and down that I gave it to him, but he had it two days before I got it. I told him he's a heartless beast to give a horrible disease like that to an innocent soul what pays the bills.

[tuliptree76]

It won't be the honey that you posted earlier. LOL!

[tuliptree76]

I've been coughing, but I think I just have a cold.

[Kindly Old Doc Tsu]

Honey, lemon and hooch (equal parts of each)is still the best cough syrup - no kidding, somebody finally did the study and HLH works better than anything else - and after a couple of ounces of the stuff you don't care whether you cough or not.

[NicknamedBob]

We could use more medical, (even veterinary), experience for our trip.

That nice Dr. Stein, who set up his laBORatory down in the spacious lower levels, is an internalist.

He knows your insides, inside-out.

Still, I'm not sure I want to go to him. I think he's been doing research with Electro-Convulsive Therapy.

[Kindly Old Doc Tsu]

We're taking the Flying Castle into outer space? Are we going to upgrade whatever it is we're drinking? Some of that stuff will make you go blind before you start flying castles around.

[I'm ALL Right!]

I'll do that!

[NicknamedBob]

Those who wish to drink in preparation for the trip will be assigned to the cheerleading section. It will help them relax for the gee forces.

We're using designated drivers.

Anyone with medical conditions of any nature is advised to make preparations to travel with associates in a "buddy" system. We have to prepare for about three and a half gees.

The average person of 175 pounds will feel like the six-hundred pound gorilla.

[Army Air Corps]

"Some of that stuff will make you go blind before you start flying castles around."

Have you been sipping coolant from the ion engines?

[Kindly Old Doc Tsu]

What combination of animals are we taking, anyway. I suggest cows and sheep, as each species is the other's parasitic end point and they'll clean the fields behind each other if we graze them in rotation. Of course, sheep are a royal, fiddly nuisance, and a cow would just as soon run over you as look at you, so there are drawbacks. Or we could take some rare creatures, like unicorns and intelligent Democrats - well maybe just the unicorns - easier to find. If we're taking livestock, we have to feed them something. is the castle a sustainable family farm, self-sufficient, economically and ecologically balanced (among other fantasies)?

[NicknamedBob]

"Some of that stuff will make you go blind ..."

I can't speak for every back-closet still or bathtub gin rig that someone might set up, but as a member of the Quality Control Committee of the wine production facility, I can assure you that all of our labeled products are perfectly safe to consume, under the normal standards of consumption.

We are, after all, a scientific expedition.

[tuliptree76]

We're using designated drivers.

Great. I'm always the designated driver. I guess that's a drawback of not drinking.