Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

SATAN'S SUPERMODELS
WWN ^ | today | Mike Foster

Posted on 10/05/2005 4:13:29 PM PDT by Rodney King

ENVIOUS of those flawlessly beautiful supermodels who get paid a fortune to flaunt their fabulous figures in designer clothes? Don't be -- many of them will wind up burning in the fires in Hell for all eternity!

Shockingly, many top-tier cover girls have signed a pact with the Devil, a leading expert in the occult asserts.

"Before they sold their souls to Satan, most of these women had faces that would stop a clock -- you'd be stunned at what plain Janes they were," claims Harold Iggleton, author of the upcoming book, Satan's Supermodels: The Untold Story of Devil-Worship in the Fashion Industry.

'The Evil One used his dark powers to remake these 'nobodies' from top to bottom -- taking away their flabby guts, sagging behinds and oversized schnozzes, while endowing them with high cheekbones, long, shapely legs and tight, toned buns."

The author refused to name names, saying readers will "have to buy the book" when it hits store shelves in July to find out whether their favorite supermodel is in league with the Devil.

But as a tantalizing preview, he provided Weekly World News exclusively with stunning "before" photos of the Hellbound glamour girls.

"One was a lonely fat girl with terrible acne everyone in junior high called 'Pizza Face' until a Goth classmate introduced her to Satanism," he reveals.

"Another had an okay face, but stood a mere 5-foot-1 -- way too short to be a professional model -- before Satan gave her a 'boost.'"

But beauty -- and the glamorous lifestyle, fame and fortune enjoyed by supermodels -- comes at a terrible price.

"In return, the models must engage in unspeakable orgiastic rituals involving human sacrifice plus date really unattractive older Satanist priests," the researcher contends.

"They must also corrupt the youth of the world by promoting materialism, sexual irresponsibility and other things that Lucifer cherishes."

Here, from the author, are five signs that your favorite supermodel is a tool of Satan:

1. Has a romantic relationship with a rock musician. "It's long been established that rock is the Devil's music," Iggleton points out.

2. Bears the "Devil's Mark." Fashion editors may generously describe a prominent mole or blemish as a "beauty mark," but witch-hunters as far back as medieval times have recognized it as a sign that a person has been marked by Lucifer.

3. Caught by paparazzi engaged in immoral conduct such as raunchy same-sex dancing.

4. Never seen in public holding a Bible.

5. Causes happily married men to have immoral urges. "If your husband comes out of the bathroom red-faced and clutching the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated, you can be sure one of Satan's minions is having an effect on him," Iggleton points out.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: twilightzone
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-56 last
To: TheBigB

;-), Big Guy.


41 posted on 10/05/2005 9:20:41 PM PDT by Miss Behave (Beloved daughter of Miss Creant, super sister of danged Miss Ology, and proud mother of Miss Hap.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: Miss Behave

Back atcha, QTPi. ;o)


42 posted on 10/05/2005 9:21:14 PM PDT by TheBigB (I propose banning anyone who starts a thread with the words, "I just got this in an email...")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro
Batboy wants to believe:


43 posted on 10/05/2005 9:33:39 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: nmh
"BERNIE PYLE"???

HAWHAWHAWHAW

Is that Mary Mapes' new alias?
44 posted on 10/05/2005 9:38:53 PM PDT by decal (Mother Nature and Real Life are conservatives; the Progs have never figured this out.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Rodney King
Well, I was a doubter, but then this is the groundbreaking journal that brought us the three-legged skater and Hillary's two-headed alien baby. And then the clincher:

Do you believe now? Huh? Do you believe?

45 posted on 10/05/2005 9:48:41 PM PDT by Billthedrill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Billthedrill

LOL, nice graphic.


46 posted on 10/05/2005 11:37:55 PM PDT by AndyTheBear (Disastrous social experimentation is the opiate of elitist snobs.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]

To: konaice
No tail, horns, or pitchforks that I can see.

That's because satan doesn't let us see them ...


47 posted on 10/06/2005 3:55:03 AM PDT by tx_eggman (If we bacon we could have bacon and eggs ... if we had some eggs.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: Miss Behave

Purviewed per proposal.


48 posted on 10/06/2005 4:49:20 AM PDT by Robert A Cook PE (-I contribute to FR monthly, but ABBCNNBCBS supports Hillary's Secular Sexual Socialism every day.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: tx_eggman

I adore seeing stars without makeup! It is the only time I will buy the National Enquirer...Britney Spears without makeup, with 2 inch long dark roots, squinty little eyes sans makeup, and hair that hasn't been washed/combed in 3 days? Oooh-la-la...Sharon Stone without makeup... now I believe she has NASA develop her makeup, lol.


49 posted on 10/06/2005 5:44:25 AM PDT by aaronbeth (Our freedom was won from the barrel of a gun.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: Rodney King

You wrote, "2. Bears the "Devil's Mark." Fashion editors may generously describe a prominent mole or blemish as a "beauty mark," but witch-hunters as far back as medieval times have recognized it as a sign that a person has been marked by Lucifer."

So, now you know. Yes, it's true. Both my teenager daughter and I sport birthmark moles on our left cheek revealing our relationship with our Dark Master. We bide our time, awaiting the proper portents and signs, and then, she makes the cover of 'American Girl' magazine, while I assume my place in the latest issue of 'Middle-Aged Guy Monthly'.


50 posted on 10/06/2005 6:37:40 AM PDT by Rembrandt_fan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Robert A. Cook, PE
"Purviewed per proposal."

;-), Bobby.

51 posted on 10/06/2005 7:57:49 AM PDT by Miss Behave ("Free peoples *believe in* the future. Free peoples will *own* the future." -GWB 10/6/05)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 48 | View Replies]

To: Rodney King

Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Sir Lancelot: Am not.


52 posted on 10/06/2005 8:03:16 AM PDT by Jack of all Trades (Never underestimate the speed in which the thin veneer of civilization can be stripped away.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: The Phantom FReeper

Because some things are beyond even Satan's ability to work out.


53 posted on 10/06/2005 10:07:19 AM PDT by CzarNicky (The problem with bad ideas is that they seemed like good ideas at the time.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: tx_eggman

And not just makeup, but talented airbrush artists.


54 posted on 10/06/2005 2:44:40 PM PDT by fortunecookie
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: Rodney King
'The Evil One used his dark powers to remake these 'nobodies' from top to bottom -- taking away their flabby guts, sagging behinds and oversized schnozzes, while endowing them with high cheekbones, long, shapely legs and tight, toned buns."

And here, I always thought those transformations resulted from talented makeup artists and airbrush painters. Just goes to show how wrong I was.

55 posted on 10/06/2005 8:35:18 PM PDT by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nmh
I won't seek the book out but I might page through it if I see it. Whether they seek him out or not, their lifestyle certainly suits Satan and how they dress. So whether they seek him out or not they certainly aren't following the teachings of the Judeo Christian God. Their lost souls who are typically very unhappy and why they resort to drugs, alcohol and the cosmetic surgery - they are not happy campers in this life. Cosmetic surgery and playing the role of a slut in real life, making money and status their god with drugs and alcohol abuse is exactly what he's like.

Yes, please send a few over to my house right now so that I may try to convert them and make them see the Light. When I get tired of them,er, I mean sucessfull, you can send a few more...

56 posted on 10/08/2005 6:38:40 PM PDT by Aut Pax Aut Bellum (No wonder some animals eat their young..)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-56 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson