Posted on 06/10/2005 6:01:56 AM PDT by Fierce Allegiance
TheBigB has given me the go-ahead to put up this weeks OFST. Thanks, B! Hurry back!
Last week we had some rough spots, so R-Q-TEK86 had the following ground-rules suggestion for this weeks thread:
By entering this silly thread, I promise to…
Honor the spirit of silliness. Eat Spam, eggs, Spam, Spam and Spam. Not ask to see any of Jersey Republican Biker Chick’s body parts. Stand on my desk, flap my arms and make sounds like a chicken. Spew milk through my nose at something ArGee posts. Make at least one blonde joke. Post a joke that makes people groan. Ponder the question “Is ‘Civil Engineer’ an oxymoron?” Try to solve the mystery of who ctlpdad really is. Make a reference to AYBABTU. Disavow everything that Howard Dean stands for. Post a “Pearls Before Swine” cartoon (Dog Gone only). Make the guy in the next cubicle wonder what’s so funny. Post a picture of my favorite refreshing beverage. Quack like the Aflac duck. Not post gratuitous cheesecake or beefcake pictures. Tell JimWforBush a joke about engineers. Make a pun. Use “series” instead of “serious” and “hugh” instead of “huge”. Ask r-q-tek86 if all architects are gay. Stand facing the back of the elevator on the way back from lunch. Post a picture that made me snort the first time I saw it. Do a silly walk. Make an obscure reference to “Young Frankenstein”. Ignore this thread.
It's after 'cheesecake' (I looked it up).....
Came out in the 1930's when folks were pretty poor and cheesecake was something pretty rich and wonderful. ;)
Nice beef!
That looks great, missyme. It's relaxing to just look at the pictures.
The Fish Song
It was April the Forty-first, being a quadruple leapyear;
I was driving in downtown Atlantis.
My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray,
and it was overheating.
So I pulled into a Shell station; they said I'd blown a seal.
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay, pal?"
While they were doing that, I walked over to a place called the Oyster Bar.
A real dive. But I knew the owner; he used to play for the dolphins.
I said, "HI GILL!" (You have to yell, he's hard of herring.)
Chorus:
Think I had a wet dream, cruisin' through the Gulf stream.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Wet dream.
Gill was also down on his luck.
Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water.
I bellied up to the sandbar; he poured the usual: Rusty Snail, hold
the grunion, shaken, not stirred.
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side, heavy on the mako.
I slipped him a fin, on porpoise.
I was feeling good; I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids,
for the halibut.
Well, the place was crowded. We were packed in like sardines.
They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal.
What sole. Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna,
"Salmonchanted Evening", and the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers,
Probably there to see the bass player.
One of them was this cute little yellowtail, and she was givin' me the eye.
So I figured this was my chance for a little fun.
You know, piece of Pisces.
But she said things I just couldn't fathom.
She was too deep, seemed to be under a lot of pressure.
Boy, could she drink. She drank like a...
She drank a lot.
I said, "What's your sign?"
She said, "Aquarium."
I said, "Great! Let's get tanked!"
Chorus
I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait.
I said, "C'mon baby, it'll only take a few minnows."
She threw me that same old line: "Not tonight, I got a haddock."
And she wasn't kidding, either, cause in came the biggest,
meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike.
He was covered with mussels. He came over to me; he said, "Listen, Shrimp.
Don't you come trollin' around here." What a crab.
This guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his eyes.
I turned to him and I said, "Abalone! You're just being shellfish."
Well, I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gill,
cause he was already on the phone to the cods.
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch. I catch him with a left hook.
He eels over. It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck,
flat as a mackerel, kelpless.
I said, "Forget the cods, Gill. This guy's going to need a sturgeon.
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend.
She came over to me; she said, "Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish.
What's your name?"
I said, "Marlin."
Chorus
Well, from then on we had a whale of a time. I took her to dinner;
I took her to dance; I bought her a bouquet of flounders.
And then I went home with her.
And what did I get for my trouble? A case of the clams.
I'll see your Lynda Carter and raise <Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman>
Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.
Shalom.
The girls and Mom talk him into easing up a bit. So he finally lets them date.
The first boy shows up at the door and says, "I am Freddie. I am here for Betty and we are going out for spaghetti!"
The dad thinks, "Hmmm. This is a nice boy and very clever. Maybe I have been wrong all these years about boys and dating..."
The next boy rings the door bell. "I am Bill. I am here for Jill and we are hiking on the hill."
"I was wrong!", thinks Dad. "These guys are all such gentlemen and so darn clever!!!"
The doorbell rings a third time. The last boy says, "Hi! I am Chuck!"
I think it's GREAT that you fantasize about your hubby!
PICTURES!!!
Looks good. Where do I sign up?
"thag shags with all of the FReeperettes. Remember we pass him around like a bag of Fritos."
SO! THAT's where I got the itch from....
LOL I take it that you'd like to see the pictures?
Nope.
I have not heard the "Wet Dream" song in a long time. They used to play it all of the time. Thanks for posting it!!
Somebody posted the reason last week but I can't remember it.
English is funny that way.
Why do we park on driveways but drive on parkways?
Why is bra singular but panties plural?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why isn't phoenetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why doesn't good food rhyme?
Its a wonder we ever understand each other.
Shalom.
He's the best. At everything. ;-)
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