Posted on 03/04/2005 3:38:15 PM PST by pissant
Q: I'm a woman in my "little" 30s and I am wondering: Why is it that men my age only want to date women in their 20s or early 30s? I've toyed with the idea of posting a personal ad on an online dating service, but when I went through the listings, it seemed that the men my age only wanted to date women ages 21 to 30! I feel so discouraged.
A: Men are pigs. This is my clinical observation, based on 12,464 interviews with single men over the last few years. And it's not only a woman's point of view. In fact, "men are pigs" is a direct quote from my husband, who is happy to trash his youth-obsessed gender.
Now the good news: The best thing about online dating is just what you have discovered. Individuals' profiles can be as revealing as an FBI dossier, but funnier! Do we really believe he keeps both "The Brothers Karamazov" and Playboy on his nightstand? Um, no.
(Excerpt) Read more at women.msn.com ...
haha.....I work out about 8 hours a week and I always thought that golf was more a drinking activity....well at least the way I play it...........
lol,, ahhh yes, the same stigmatizem as with the USED CAR SALESMAN and Lawyers
Good philosophy for staying single.
I don't think that's it (though its a part of it).
I think a lot of men and women realize that there is a lot of variety out there and people willing to satisfy their carnal desires, as well as emotional ones.
With this variety comes a lot of choice. I think there is a large reluctance to bear a portion of the emotional burden of the partner ('emotional baggage'). Men and women know that, when dealing with a potential mate with a lot of baggage, it's probably easier to just find someone with less baggage (and therefore less a burden to bear).
As a general princple, fewer years on earth means less opportunity for this kind of baggage. I know there are 17-year olds with a ton of baggage, and 40-year olds with relatively fresh outlooks, but those are exceptions: more years means more experience, which means more fatigue, which means more baggage (as a general principle).
It's a form of dead reckoning, but I see it in my own life. Women at age 22 have much less baggage than women 32, who have less baggage than women who are 42.
A bias for youth is a good threshold matter to filyer out potential mates. It's not 100% accurate, but it's a good start.
I was in Santa Barbra golfing with friends once.
We were in two carts. I sliced, and my buddy hit it the exact other way.
In a hole or two, we figured who hit bad in a more similar manner and paired the carts up that way instead.
I once hit the same golf cart twice in two holes... LOL
Here's the dirty secret about attraction: people don't want what they think they want. They just want the feelings associated with being with the type of person they want to be with.
It's the feelings people covet - it's not so much that I very strongly want fit, young, leggy, buxom women. I just want the feelings that my mind has associated with being with a woman who fits that description.
And the truth is, I can have those feelings with a woman who doesn't fit that criteria. It's the feelings we want, more so that the actual thing.
You should have played the lottery on those days that you had a hole in one.
How does a woman in her "little thirties" feel about a man in his fifties? Just wondering!
Good question, better ask one of the chicks though. My answer you probably don't want to hear. ;o)
Not really - straying single has nothing do do with it.
What makes you think that it does (especially when I explictly said I have no problem bearing the burden of my own self-created baggage)?
now that is pretty awful......haha....I used to do alot of biz entertaining and all I knew is that I better have enough cold beer on both carts.......by the time we hit the back nine, we pretty much didn't care about our score...I was decent with about an 16 handicap and I remember once on my second shot, I hit a 3 wood almost 250 yards somehow and hit the cart of the foursome ahead of us........they were pissed.......
I would marry a man in his fifties so long as he doesn't need viagra double dips like my ex.
very few have "no baggage". But happy hunting.
"Do guys want older women?"
Yes.
The goal isn't 'no baggage.' It's 'less baggage.' Sorry if I didn't make that clear.
Note: Am not in the market.
Very true. That being said, you supported the point with a terrible example: pizza is good all day, every day! ;-)
LOL, I'm not Dr. Laura!
And I'd disagree with her, women can, and probably should, get married before 30, in terms of having children, nature still favors the young.
I also never liked her insistance that people "live on their own" before marriage. As the mom of a daughter I'd be quite happy if she didn't ever do the "single in the city" bit. Of that I can definately speak from my own experience and it is over-rated. Big waste of money too. Go to college or something, pay your parents rent, for sure if you are working full time. But other than that, I really never understood her thinking on that subject, beyond the likelihood she'd done it herself.
My mother used to have some formula that predicted a good marriage outcome, something like the man should be twice the woman's age less 7 years? That sounds too old, maybe 1 1/2 times her age less 7 years?
You know, it's spooky, so there's got to be 7 years in there somewhere!
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