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Are the Attempts to Kill Trump Real? [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 May 2026 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/16/2026 12:51:40 AM PDT by John Semmens

This week, a National Public Radio (NPR) headline asserted "new poll finds a majority of Americans unsure if attempts on Trump's life were real." The article went on to disclose that "30% of Americans think at least one of those incidents was staged. Forty-five percent said each of the attempts was real." That leaves about 25% in the "unsure" category. The poll was conducted by NewsGuard/YouGov. NewsGuard has been a left-wing "fact checker" since it was founded in 2018. NPR's federal government funding was recently withdrawn for its consistent left-wing bias.

In the July 2024 attempt at a Trump campaign rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, eight bullets were fired by Thomas Crooks toward Trump. Four individuals were hit--Trump in the ear, Corey Comperatore, an audience member, was killed and two other in the audience were seriously wounded. Crooks was killed by return fire from Secret Service Agents. In September of 2024, an armed Ryan Routh was sighted in a sniper blind awaiting Trump's appearance on his golf course and later arrested and convicted. In April of 2026, an armed Cole Tomas Allen was apprehended at the White House Correspondents Dinner. Later, a manifesto explaining his reasons for killing Trump and his cabinet members was found. There have been another dozen less widely known incidents that did or could've exposed Trump to an assassination.

Historical expert Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (D-NY) pointed out that "the only other world leader known to have survived as many so-called assassination attempts as Trump was Hitler. Both of these men were or are enemies of democracy. So we shouldn't be surprised that people would want to kill them. OR did both of them fake these attempts to divert attention from their evil schemes? I'd have to say that Trump dodging a bullet was less dramatic than Hitler surviving a bomb smuggled into his conference room during World War Eleven."


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: 202407; 202409; 202604; aoc; assassinationplots; hitler; npr; satire

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1 posted on 05/16/2026 12:51:40 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 05/16/2026 12:52:56 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

If it’s a poll of NPR listeners, then I’m not surprised with the garbage they spew out on a daily basis.


3 posted on 05/16/2026 1:00:42 AM PDT by Eccl 10:2 (Prov 3:5 --- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding")
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To: John Semmens
"30% of Americans think at least one of those incidents was staged."

Because they're smarter than everyone else and everyone else is stupid.
4 posted on 05/16/2026 1:26:44 AM PDT by equaviator (Nobody's perfect. That's why they put pencils on erasers!)
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To: John Semmens

“Left-wing factcheckers” - a contradiction in terms.


5 posted on 05/16/2026 1:32:44 AM PDT by ScaniaBoy (Part of the Right Wing Research & Attack Machine)
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To: John Semmens
"The article went on to disclose that "30% of Americans think at least one of those incidents was staged."

Marxist liberals projecting again.


6 posted on 05/16/2026 2:12:00 AM PDT by clearcarbon (Fraudulent elections have consequences.)
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To: John Semmens

This response perfectly illustrates the mechanics of political projection. When a faction spends years mastering the art of political theater—orchestrating sit-ins, busing in paid demonstrators, and weaponizing coordinated disruptions against everyday citizens—it warps their worldview.

They become entirely incapable of recognizing genuine events or authentic adversaries. When a reality occurs that severely damages their narrative or interests, their psychological defense mechanism is to cry “staged.” They assume conservatives operate with the same artificial cynicism that drives their own daily operations.


7 posted on 05/16/2026 2:13:53 AM PDT by Samurai_Jack (This is not about hypocrisy, this is about hierarchy!)
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To: John Semmens

Historical “expert” AOC, that is funny.


8 posted on 05/16/2026 2:26:23 AM PDT by exnavy (See article IV section 4 of our constitution.)
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To: John Semmens

Bullshit. At that range, I am not a marine sniper, his head is gone. The asshole screwed the shot up. Ticking the ear wasn’t planed. Trying hard and effing it up. Yeah I’d believe that. Staged ? No way. All this news crap is trying to lower the guard for another shot.lIMO.


9 posted on 05/16/2026 2:29:28 AM PDT by Equine1952 (MM1SS SASOBe)
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To: John Semmens

Used to be 36% of polls were always solid leftwing libs. Now it is only the solid 30%.


10 posted on 05/16/2026 2:44:25 AM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
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To: John Semmens

Yes, they are just as real as that woman standing on a street corner pointing a 1911 at President Ford.


11 posted on 05/16/2026 2:46:01 AM PDT by Terry L Smith
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To: John Semmens

of course, those same 30% believe in 72 genders...


12 posted on 05/16/2026 3:53:29 AM PDT by sten (fighting tyranny never goes out of style)
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To: equaviator

Same folks when asked to name the river and the sea have no idea.

Same folks who celebrate Bernie trashing billionaires and then at their convention have a billionaire speak after Bernie ….

Same folks who ignored biden’s obvious mental decline and claim Trump is mentally unfit.


13 posted on 05/16/2026 4:03:21 AM PDT by blitz128
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To: piasa

Yup noticed for years that if a poll had a WTF answer, there would always be 30-40% giving that.
Poll of white people
Should all white people be killed
35% answer yes😂😎


14 posted on 05/16/2026 4:06:12 AM PDT by blitz128
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To: equaviator

70% think none of the incidents were staged.


15 posted on 05/16/2026 4:11:46 AM PDT by Russ (I )
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To: John Semmens

Well, let’s face it. NPR Polls show that the newest generations of people who live in the U.S.A. these days really aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer. At least half of this country’s population is made up of Neanderthal Knuckledraggers with cellphones and crappy proof of programming diplomas from our regressive institutions of “higher” learning who walk around wearing Pizza Joint table cloths on their heads as hats and masks.


16 posted on 05/16/2026 5:18:31 AM PDT by FlingWingFlyer (NO KINGS?! No pineapple princesses either. Sandy Ocasio and Kamala Harris have got to go!!!)
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To: equaviator

This is your liberal democrat percentage of America

Hope OCA comments were a fake parody…


17 posted on 05/16/2026 6:47:21 AM PDT by silverleaf (“Inside Every Progressive Is A Totalitarian Screaming To Get Out” —David Horowitz)
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To: Eccl 10:2
If it’s a poll of NPR listeners, then I’m not surprised with the garbage they spew out on a daily basis.

Stupidity on parade.

18 posted on 05/16/2026 7:28:20 AM PDT by libertylover (The HBM (Has Been Media) is almost all AGENDA-DRIVEN and HATE-DRIVEN, not-truth driven.)
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To: John Semmens

Yeah, from over a hundred yards away, I want you to just nick his ear.

Okay, will do. No problem.


19 posted on 05/16/2026 10:11:25 AM PDT by faucetman (Just the facts, ma'am, Just the facts )
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