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Swalwell Issues Cease & Desist Letter [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 April 2026 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/06/2026 10:03:45 AM PDT by John Semmens

Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif), who is currently a leading candidate to become his state's next governor, issued a cease-and-desist letter to FBI Director Kash Patel contending that "the FBI's intrusion into my relationship with Christine Fang is a violation of my privacy. She was a student who helped me campaign for Congress and is still a friend. The allegation that I may have divulged sensitive classified data to her that she passed on to China was proved false when Christopher Wray was the FBI Director while Biden was president. The case against me was dismissed. There is no need to release any files."

Sean Hecker and Norman Eisen, attorneys for Swalwell, warned Patel that "the congressman has never been accused of wrongdoing in that matter and your attempt to release the file is a transparent attempt to smear him and undermine his campaign for governor of California. Your actions threaten to expose you, others at the FBI, and the FBI itself to significant legal liability."

Patel said he is "skeptical that Swalwell's interaction with a suspected Chinese spy was purely innocent. I think it is worth another look. If I find out that it was purely innocent I won't release the file. But if I think there is more that needs to be investigated that's what we'll do. After all, we are the Federal Bureau of Investigation. As Director, I need to be sure that things that need to be investigated will be. If crimes are found they will be referred to the Attorney General for prosecution."


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: california; campaignforguv; ccp; china; chinesespy; ericswalwell; patel; satire

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1 posted on 04/06/2026 10:03:45 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
Democrat Eric Swalwell is a simp who believes Fang Bang loved him.

"She loved me. She really did."

And yes, it is the business of the FBI when a U.S. congressman has been compromised by a spy of a foreign nation.

2 posted on 04/06/2026 10:11:52 AM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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To: John Semmens
"The allegation that I may have divulged sensitive classified data to her that she passed on to China was proved false...
...when Christopher Wray was the FBI Director while Biden was president."

BudumTsss

"I'll be here all week. Be sure and tip your server."

3 posted on 04/06/2026 10:15:56 AM PDT by MikelTackNailer (The future isn't like I remembered it to be.)
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To: T.B. Yoits

She loved him long time


4 posted on 04/06/2026 10:18:35 AM PDT by j.havenfarm (25 years on Free Republic, 12/10/25! More than 12,750 replies and still not shutting up!)
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To: John Semmens
"...was proved false when Christopher Wray was the FBI Director..."

Well, then...

5 posted on 04/06/2026 10:20:11 AM PDT by TangoLimaSierra (⭐⭐To the Left, the Truth is Right Wing Violence⭐⭐)
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To: j.havenfarm

She loved him too beaucoup! Long-time!


6 posted on 04/06/2026 10:30:47 AM PDT by old school
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To: John Semmens
You put in quotes, as if the Idiot Swalwell said: "...the FBI's intrusion into my relationship with Christine Fang is a violation of my privacy."

Search engines point to you yet again as author of the "quote."

You don't need to continue making up stuff. Swalwell's an idiot enough, without your creative writing.

7 posted on 04/06/2026 11:06:58 AM PDT by Worldtraveler once upon a time (Degrow government)
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To: John Semmens

Tell him it’s in the Epstein Files.

EC


8 posted on 04/06/2026 11:21:46 AM PDT by Ex-Con777 ("Journalism is about covering important stories-with a pillow, until they stop moving." ~ David Burg)
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