Posted on 11/06/2024 6:09:37 AM PST by DFG
U.S. — The votes are in. The people have spoken. Donald J. Trump, the 45th President of the United States, has just won his third presidential election in a row.
While Electoral College votes are still yet to be ratified, Trump's victory marks an achievement attained by only two predecessors in American history: Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Gladys O'Brian, the 235th head of the Nappanee, Indiana Women's Commissioner Club.
"We did it, and no one has ever seen anything like it in the history of mankind, or maybe even the world," said an elated Trump to supporters. "Three elections in a row. We call that a HAT TRICK of elections. Very hard to do, no one's ever done it before, but we did. So incredible and very special."
US cities have not yet fallen into street warfare, rioting, and looting. The election results, however, have sparked a firestorm on X, where Democrats including AOC, Nanci Pelosi, Michelle Obama, and David French have publicly demanded a best-two-out-of-three election, winner-take-all.
Experts are already predicting that this unprecedented 3-election streak will lead to the deaths of several billion people from Nazis, climate change, and no abortions. Casualties in metropolitan areas and newsrooms across the country are reportedly mounting up already, as the entire staff of the New York Times died over three times in a row when they were forced to announce the news.
At publishing time, President-Elect Trump had assumed his shotgun seat in Garbage Truck One and headed back to his house in D.C.
One more and he’ll tie FDR. ;)
well if you believe the media, he's never going to leave. And if you believe Oprah, we'll never get to vote again.
Garbage Truck One.
HA!
I wish The Bee would stick to satire 😏
Lsat POTUS to do that was.... Richard Nixon.
Kennedy stole it in 1960 with the mob’s help in Chicago.
Where’d Joe’s 81 million votes go? Strange how those voters just disappeared.
https://x.com/zerohedge/status/1854144250562429081
>>One more and he’ll tie FDR. ;)<<
One more and he’ll tie Lazarus.
Whatever The Bee is paying their writers, it’s not enough 😎
I thought the Bee was supposed to be satirical . . .
I smell a rat.
BEST ... ELECTION ... EVER!!!!
This will be the focus of Mark Elias’s next challenge to certification of Trump’s election: “No person shall be elected to the office of President more than twice...”
They will concede he was legitimately elected in 2020, so can’t be elected again. This is only mildly sarcastic.
This doesn’t belong in the Bee. It’s actual news.
In a change of position, the DNC now admits that Trump won in 2020 and is thus disqualified from serving a third term.
They'll still try to rig the Jan 6th electoral certification.
If not, maybe another attempt at a rally.
I won't breathe easy until Jan 21st--if then.
That’s actually what I have been saying
I guess I'm going to need a new tagline. This one just became dated.
We should start a contest to see who can most accurately predict the date that President Trump publicly suggests the revocation of the 22nd Amendment. You know that he can't resist an opportunity like that to jerk his enemies' chain. The meltdown would be epic.
Babylon Bee, poking the bear -- which is risky, because the odds are better than 50:50 that the bear is a flaming queer.
Gotta love the Bee.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.