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"Harris Won an Open Primary" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 September 2024 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/10/2024 1:35:16 PM PDT by John Semmens

In response to criticism that Vice-President Kamala Harris was "installed rather than elected as the Democratic Party's presidential nominee," former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) insisted that "it was an open process. After President Biden voluntarily stepped down the Democratic National Committee carefully weighed what to do. During this process any Democrat could've submitted his or her name for us to consider. No one did. The DNC can't be blamed for not selecting from a list with zero names on it."

"Since President Biden has made clear for a long time, he and Kamala were a team," Pelosi pointed out. "When he ran virtually unopposed in the primaries all the votes cast for him could be considered as also approving his designated running mate: Kamala. In as much as those votes constituted enough to win the nomination making her the nominee seemed to be the most equitable thing to do."

"The clincher for us was that Kamala is a woman of color," the former Speaker explained. "Joe was extremely proud of being the first president to have a woman of color as his vice-president even though there were times when he claimed to be the first black woman to serve as vice-president for the first black president--Barack Obama. As the polls have shown voters are excited about the Harris/Walz ticket. We take that as a vindication of our choice. Anyway, isn't it about time that we had a ticket as joyful and unifying as the one we now have? So, I think true democracy has prevailed no matter what critics may say."

In related news, Russian President Vladimir Putin expressed his preference that Harris win the 2024 election. He gave two reasons for this preference "first, she has such an expressive and contagious laughter. With all the troubles the world is facing--war, poverty, pandemics--I have to believe that being able to laugh is a good thing. Second, I feel that she will be more predictable than Trump. She worked hand-in-glove with President Biden for almost four years. I have to think she will continue most of his policies."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,540995.0.html


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrats; postandrun; putin; satire; selfpromotion; womanofcolor

1 posted on 09/10/2024 1:35:16 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Openly selected. See


2 posted on 09/10/2024 1:53:18 PM PDT by Bayard
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To: John Semmens

The way they lie is positively Stalinist.


3 posted on 09/10/2024 1:59:23 PM PDT by MeanWestTexan (Sometimes There Is No Lesser Of Two Evils)
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To: Bayard

No other candidate could have access to fjb funds! Simple as that!


4 posted on 09/10/2024 1:59:38 PM PDT by Harpotoo (Being a socialist is a lot easier than having to WORK like the rest of US:-))
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To: John Semmens
I don't recall the DNC announcing open auditions for a POTUS candidate.

It's an "open" primary, even when it's secret?

5 posted on 09/10/2024 2:02:19 PM PDT by ZOOKER
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To: John Semmens
Thanks John!

Another test of our ability to tell semi fact from probably fact.

6 posted on 09/10/2024 2:04:58 PM PDT by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never...in nothing, great or small...Winston ChurchIill)
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To: John Semmens

Pelosi is as senile now as Biden; and she’s always been even more dissimulating than he is.


7 posted on 09/10/2024 2:08:03 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Bayard

Did anyone else think that they might dump Harris and go back to Grandpa if she tanks the debate?


8 posted on 09/10/2024 2:16:57 PM PDT by silent majority rising (When it is dark enough, men see the stars. Ralph Waldo Emerson)
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To: John Semmens

Open to her, anyway.


9 posted on 09/10/2024 2:27:50 PM PDT by dynachrome (Auslander Raus!)
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To: John Semmens

I got just as many primary votes as QueMala.


10 posted on 09/10/2024 2:43:58 PM PDT by Organic Panic (Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes)
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To: John Semmens
"In response to criticism that Vice-President Kamala Harris was "installed rather than elected as the Democratic Party's presidential nominee," former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) insisted that "it was an open process."


11 posted on 09/10/2024 3:10:50 PM PDT by clearcarbon (Fraudulent elections have consequences.)
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To: silent majority rising

Its whatever they want it to be, as long as it can plausibly cover for election fraud.


12 posted on 09/10/2024 3:39:34 PM PDT by Bayard
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https://x.com/DJWinklerForPA4/status/1833620257149489626

Kamala says Let them eat cats


13 posted on 09/10/2024 4:35:35 PM PDT by TornadoAlley3 ( I'm Proud To Be An Okie From Muskogee)
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