Posted on 08/23/2023 11:18:08 AM PDT by DFG
MILWAUKEE, WI — Eight Republicans will take the debate stage tonight to help determine which lucky candidate will lose horribly to former President Donald Trump.
"It's a great opportunity," said the guy with glasses, who is apparently running for president. "I expect a fierce battle tonight over who gets to be absolutely slaughtered by Trump in the primary."
The former president has held a commanding lead in all polls to this point despite facing multiple federal indictments, which has voters asking the question of why so many candidates continue to remain in the race. "It is a great question," said a person calling himself Doug, who is apparently governor somewhere. "Do the rest of us have any chance? No. Are we all wasting vast amounts of money by doing this? Yes. Still, it gives me a slim chance of being the next Pete Buttigieg. I could sit at home in pajamas for the next four years and collect a fat paycheck while the country burns. That's the dream, man."
Former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson, who was mistaken for an employee at the debate venue, agrees that the event is important. "No, really, I'm an actual politician," said Mr. Hutchinson. "I just want someone, somewhere to know how to pronounce my name. It's not one you would guess, okay? I need this."
At publishing time, Trump announced he would be filling his cabinet with Mike Lindell clones and that all the losers at the debate were completely wasting their time.
Whatever. But if Trump picks another moderate governor as VP like he did last time.
If he picks DeSantis or Hutchinson, I’ll LMAO.
And what if he and Pence kiss and make up? What if he picks Pence again?
I’ll really laugh my ass off.
Oh, I forgot about Chris. Yeah. I could so totally see a Trump/Christie Ticket.
Diet Cokes and Krispy Kreme Donuts at all the campaign events.
Not a good look for DeSantis sharing center stage with a virtual unknown like Vivek.
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I actually predict Vivek will win the debate tonight. Based on objective and even biased reports, people will admit that Vivek does have a commanding grasp of communicating very well.
FWIW
DeSantis has the most to lose, if newbie lightweights get the better of him, well, not good.
You can laugh all you want.
It won’t change the fact that whoever you’re supporting as the Republican nominee won’t defeat Trump.
So you’re left with small victories, like who is Trump going with as VP and how can I “make hay” over it.
“Works for me.”
Trump pre-recorded his thing with Tucker, I think it would be funny as hell if he showed up at the debate venue and demanded to be allowed to sit in the audience.
Totally disrupt the whole works, RNC, Fox and all!
The debaters have the rope, I'd leave them be.
If Pence or DeSantis would be the pick, then maybe the 17th letter club has some merit with their ‘you are watching a movie’..
And it would then make a little sense why one or the other waited till the Durham Report to come out before announcing..
Because right now, it doesn’t make any sense that either did..
This is NOT satire.
LOL.
The Midget People North of Richmond.
Maybe we should re-shape it
Who will best frame themselves to be VP?
Who will best frame themselves for a lucrative MSM contract?
Um, Vivek.
Christie Kreme.
Actually, Vivek was my guess pre-debate. This Burgum guy comes off better than I thought he would.
Burgum supports Judas Pence? On second thought, eff this guy.
I don’t follow the trust the plan crowd but you know what? I had something stolen from me in 2020 and I want it back dammit. My vote. I haven’t forgotten and even if Trump can’t get elected, I want to remind the bastards that I haven’t forgotten. If Trump can actually get back in the WH but can’t get anything done? I’m good with that because I know it will make life hell for four years for same bastards.
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