Posted on 08/23/2021 3:15:57 PM PDT by fuzzylogic
My father is in his late 70's, type-1 diabetic, requires oxygen, and has been very clear - do not resuscitate, or any significant treatment if something happened. He's had a long life and is content, doesn't want to burden. His right arm stopped moving, 911 called - ended up in ICU, he had a stroke. They thought he would pass but now it appears he has lost motor control on his entire right side and is in EXACTLY the circumstances he didn't want to be in, it looks like he will live. My mother won't be able to care for him. My brother and I will do what we can but can only be limited. I'm in tears and need prayers & advise. Thank you in advance.
If he’s competent to make his own medical decisions, then HE decides which interventions and treatments he is willing to receive. He may decline and and all of them. If he truly doesn’t want this fight, it’s up to him to say so to the doctors, and to consider an alternative such as hospice care.
If he isn’t competent to make his own decisions, then it’s more complicated.
My dad died earlier this year of cancer. He made the decision not to fight it - wisely, in my opinion. It is very difficult for everyone involved.
Prayers up. My mother is 81 and just had her third spinal surgery, and is having motor and some cognitive issues over it. We may end up selling the family home and have her move in with my sister because of it; Medicare will only pay so much for a nursing home, and only for 100 days. After that they’ll go after her SS and put a lien on the house, which was paid off thirty years ago. Hoping you have a better outcome with your situation.
Prayers up.
There may solutions that are not apparent. I pray that will be so.
I don’t know what your financial situation is. Two basic options:
1. Convalescent home. If he can’t afford a nice one, Medicare will pay for a home that meets their standards. Try to get one in a free state where you are allowed to visit.
2. Home care. If he has money, try hiring two four hour shifts a day or one eight hour. There are bonded home health agencies you can call and they’ll explain the costs and what they can do. Hopefully your sister and you can switch off or something staying the nights - you are there for emergencies and comfort, not full on care at night time.
My mother was in exactly the same situation. She did not want to live life paralyzed, unable to speak and unable to move. The hospital gave her a feeding tube, but she kept pulling it out with her one good arm. If she were on insulin, she would not have wanted it.
She was so healthy, she survived her stroke and regained the ability to swallow, which is the key to eating and not choking to death.
All that did though was give her 8 months of decline, first at a nursing him, which was a bad experience, then at home, which was better. She had constant infections and agony. Our mother was a saintly woman, and I believe God was giving her one more trial and purgation, so that he could take her directly to heaven when she passed.
This is not in a good situation for you, and there are no good options. I am not at all for euthenasia, but watching my mother suffer, I also believe God does not that you go to extreme measures to prolong a life which would only be torture for your Father.
Prayers up for all the family!
Praying for your Dad and the family.
Prayers and hugs. May God guide you clearly and comfort you and your Father continually. 🙏❤ Prayers for his health care team and health too.
Praying for your father and family.
Praying for your father and family, FuzzyLogic! Have strength my friend. God knows and hears our pleas for help. He has not abandoned us. Take each day one at a time. God bless you.
Praying for your family.. May the good Lord help you find a way to care for your father and yourselves. God bless you all. 🙏
Prayers lifted for Your Father, Mother and the rest of the Family.
Heavenly Father,
We ask for Your blessings for the father of FuzzyLogic and all his loved ones. Grant them the best possible outcome. Grant them strength and healing in body, mind, and spirit. We ask that You free them from worry and provide whatever they need to get through this difficult time and that they be filled with Your presence.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
Prayers for you and your Dad. Hope they treated him for stroke as soon as arm started not moving. Failure to do so because they thought he was going to pass is ridiculous. Take care.
Prayers for your Dad and your entire family. I’m a 60+ dad myself and understand his sentiments. I’m sure there must be a workable solution.
What part of the country are you guys in? Sometimes you can get reasonable-cost care in smaller communities.
Prayers up for you and your family. When my father had his first stroke, it affected his speech. He spoke gibberish. The doctor said that would never get better.
The doctor was wrong. Rehab and speech therapy and he was able to write his name and speak. Neither came easy, and it was never as good as it used to be—but it did improve-the brain is amazing and we don’t really know as much as we think about it. Don’t lose hope-with God all things are possible.
If your father is a veteran, he should qualify for a Veteran’s medical grant. That can be used to pay for about 3 hrs. a day of people to come in and care for him-that includes bathing, fixing his food, meds, and light housework in his home.
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