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Dems Considering Another Lockdown To Wipe Out The Few Small Businesses That Survived The Last One
Babylon Bee ^ | 08/02/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/02/2021 1:28:14 PM PDT by DFG

U.S.—Democrat governors and policymakers across the nation are considering another lockdown to wipe out the few small businesses that somehow managed to survive the previous lockdowns.

"We've received word that new, deadly variants of small businesses, um, I mean COVID, are popping up in spite of our best efforts to crush them forever," said Pelosi in her classic charming way at a press conference. "We need at least one more extended lockdown so that those pesky small businesses are utterly ruined to make way for the woke mega-corporations we all know and love. Um, I mean, let's defeat Delta variant or whatever."

Reporters then asked her to repeat herself, as the loud rattling noises from her jewelry, or her skeleton—it was unclear which—had drowned out the sound of her voice.

According to experts, up to 6 more months of extreme lockdowns may be needed in order to kill all the remaining small businesses so companies like Walmart, Amazon, and Blackrock can swoop in and take ownership of more land and market share.

"If we do this together, as Americans, we can rid America of the scourge of small business, um, I mean COVID," said Pelosi.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; business; democrat; lockdown; pelosi; satire
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NOT SATIRE
1 posted on 08/02/2021 1:28:14 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

California is going to implode.


2 posted on 08/02/2021 1:30:11 PM PDT by Brilliant
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To: DFG

Juuuuuust when it looked like the economy was recovering, lockdown v2.0 incoming.


3 posted on 08/02/2021 1:30:42 PM PDT by BBQToadRibs2
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To: DFG

Step 2 in their plan.

Obama truly played this well by fundamentally transforming America.


4 posted on 08/02/2021 1:30:49 PM PDT by HypatiaTaught (president FRAUD of the divided states of China)
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To: DFG

Not satire in Washington state; over 20% of businesses won’t be coming back and a bunch more are struggling. Meanwhile landlords still can’t collect rent and soon will be going under. Gov. Inslee declared the state won the Super Bowl of COVID. Moron.


5 posted on 08/02/2021 1:31:21 PM PDT by SkyDancer (I Identify As Vaccinated)
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To: HypatiaTaught

Obama’s “transformation” was enabling the corruption that followed after him.


6 posted on 08/02/2021 1:33:40 PM PDT by Widget Jr
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To: DFG

Sometimes Bee crosses the line from satire to reality.


7 posted on 08/02/2021 1:34:50 PM PDT by JaguarXKE (Liberalism is a cancer on our nation.)
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To: DFG

This actually does appear to be the Mission of several Dem Mayors and Governors. Its as though they’ve been hypnotized or programmed to function in this way, shutting out all compassion or logic.


8 posted on 08/02/2021 1:35:01 PM PDT by lee martell
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To: DFG

Cuomo threatened the entire state this morning if people don’t comply, get their shots, if businesses don’t keep out refuseniks...


9 posted on 08/02/2021 1:35:54 PM PDT by mewzilla (Those aren't masks. They're muzzles. )
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To: DFG

Its no wonder I’ve been seeing so many new York license plates in my state lately...and crazyfornia and new joisey and assachusetts and.... well you get the idea.


10 posted on 08/02/2021 1:37:26 PM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: mewzilla

https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/565920-cuomo-asks-business-to-go-to-vaccine-only-admission

Only he wasn’t asking.

He was threatening.

Note to remaining small biz owners: This is what knuckling under gets you.


11 posted on 08/02/2021 1:38:19 PM PDT by mewzilla (Those aren't masks. They're muzzles. )
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To: DFG

This has got to be on CNN, I’ll go check!


12 posted on 08/02/2021 1:38:36 PM PDT by eyeamok (founded in cynicism, wrapped in sarcasm)
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To: DFG

It’s not funny.


13 posted on 08/02/2021 1:39:05 PM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire. Or both.)
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To: mewzilla

This sound familiar?

“He required everyone—small and great, rich and poor, free and slave—to be given a mark on the right hand or on the forehead. And no one could buy or sell anything without that mark, which was either the name of the beast or the number representing his name.”

Revelation 13:16‭-‬17 NLT


14 posted on 08/02/2021 1:39:52 PM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: DFG

They have absolutely NO credibility...none, nada, zero.
The People will NOT willingly comply this time around.


15 posted on 08/02/2021 1:42:30 PM PDT by lgjhn23 (Pray for America....)
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To: DFG

If they try it, and if we do not revolt (using ALL means necessary), we do not deserve freedom.


16 posted on 08/02/2021 1:47:29 PM PDT by Da Coyote
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To: DFG

Spot on.


17 posted on 08/02/2021 1:54:54 PM PDT by packagingguy (Kit)
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To: SkyDancer; DFG

I actually had one dipstick on Free Republic who stated that very few businesses were going under due to these lockdowns and that conservatives were overblowing it.

Really, not kidding. I wish I could remember the name.


18 posted on 08/02/2021 2:04:18 PM PDT by rlmorel (Leftists are The Droplet of Sewage in a gallon of ultra-pure clean water.)
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To: DFG

Only the headline is satire. The communists are already implementing their new garbage policies.


19 posted on 08/02/2021 2:15:28 PM PDT by Luke21
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To: DFG

It is not Satire. It may be intended as satire. But it is as serious and factual as a heart attack. This is exactly what they are planning. And exactly what they intend to do. The only question remaining to be answered is, when will it happen?


20 posted on 08/02/2021 2:22:04 PM PDT by sport
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