Posted on 10/07/2020 12:25:52 PM PDT by LadyDoc
Amazon Studios’ LOTR Series Heads Into Uncharted Carnal Waters with Casting Call for Nudity and an “Intimacy Coordinator”
This might be a singularly surprising or even upsetting concept to present to Tolkien fans. If I were to address this reality to Star Wars, or Harry Potter, or even Miyazaki fandom it would raise eyebrows or outright alarm. But gather ’round the campfire and hear my tremulous words:“Prepare for a newly-sexualized version of your favorite fantasy world.”...
Fact check: We can confirm Amazon Studios has hired Jennifer Ward-Lealand, a well-known New Zealand Intimacy Coordinator, for the Lord of the Rings production...
Fact check: Rumor! An open casting call for background extras “comfortable with nudity” with a production code of “JAZZ.” We have seen other casting notices that may apply to Lord of the Rings using codeword “JAZZ” for interesting-looking actors and horse riders. Just how many naked extras do you need for a classy, romantic love-making scene?...
(Excerpt) Read more at theonering.net ...
Games of thrones moves away from the nudity as the series progresses, but I swear the writers/producers had an unwritten goal of showing someone killed in new and novel way every episode.
so THAT’S what they call them nowadays….
Perverting and destroying anything that is good and right is what the left is. They are the tools of the devil.
Words: Nanny Ogg (as translated by: Alixandra Jordan )
Music: A Frog went a Courtin’
O, the wizard’s staff had a knob on the end.
It does! It does!
O, the wizard’s staff has a knob on the end.
It does!
O, the wizard’s staff has a knob on the end
And the wizard’s staff is the wizard’s friend.
It is! It is!
O, the wizard’s staff is long and hard.
It is! It is!
O, the wizard’s staff is long and hard.
It is!
O, the wizard’s staff is long and hard;
And the wizard plays with it in his yard.
He does! He does!
O, the wizard’s staff proves he’s a man.
It does! it does!
O, the wizard’s staff proves he’s a man.
It does!
O, the wizard’s staff proves he’s a man.
he gripes it firmly in his hand.
he does! He does!
wizard staff magic is all hand play.
I see! I see!
Wizard staff magic is all hand play.
I see!
Wizard staff magic is all hand play.
he works it first this; and then thataway.
I see!
Wizard staff magic works up a sweat.
It does! it does!
Wizard staff magic works up a sweat.
It does!
Wizard staff magic works up a sweat.
It’s potent magic, you can bet.
It is! It is!
The staff goes in and then goes out!
In! Out! In! Out!
The staff goes in and then goes out!
In! Out!
The staff goes in and then goes out.
Tighten the hand and start to shout!
In! Out! In! Out!
O, the wizard’s staff has a knob on the end.
I know! I know!
O, the wizard’s staff has a know on the end.
I know!
O, the wizard’s staff has a knob on the end.
It’s long, and wooden and tends to bend.
I know! I know!
O, the Archchancellor’s staff is longest of all.
He claims! He claims!
O, the Archchancellor’s staff is longest of all.
He claims!
O, the Archchancellor’s staff is longest of all.
When he takes a shower, his staff’s in the hall!
he claims! He claims!
The Archchancellor’s staff goes ‘round and ‘round.
Around! Around!
The Archchancellor’s staff goes ‘round and ‘round.
Around!
The Archchancellor’s staff goes ‘round and ‘round.
That’s why wizards don’t teach while sitting down.
Sci down! Sit Down!
The wizard’s staff! Long may it wave!
Back ‘n’ forth! Back ‘n’ forth!
The wizard’s staff! Long may it wave!
Back ‘n’ forth!
The wizard’s staff! Long may it wave!
he’ll carry it proudly to his grave!
He will! He Will!
O, the wizard’s staff has enormous reach. - 1
Yards long! Yards long!
O, the wizard’s staff has enormous reach.
Yards long!
O, the wizard’s staff has enormous reach
It searches for a bottom like a peach.
A peach! A peach!
O, the wizard’s staff is fond of nuts.
In trees! In trees!
o, the wizard’s staff is fond of nuts.
In trees!
The wizard’s staff is fond of nuts;
Hard and prickly and nice soft butts.
In the trees? In the trees?
But the wizard’s staff is a maid’s delight. - 2
Oh, no! Oh, no!
But the wizard’s staff is a maid’s delight.
Oh, no!
But the wizard’s staff is a maid’s delight.
For maidens and wizards come out at night.
Oh, yes! Oh, yes!
O, the wizard’s staff staff rises to the call.
It does! it does!
O, the wizard’s staff rises to the call it does.
O, the wizard’s staff rises to the call,
When the maiden, she wear nothing at all.
It does! It does!
When a naked maiden takes a stand,
And she will! She will!
When a naked maiden takes a stand,
And she will!
When a naked maiden takes a stand.
The staff says: “To hell your your right hand.”
It will! it will!
O, the staff goes in and then goes out. - 3
In! Out! In! Out!
O, the staff goes in and then goes out.
In! Out!
O, the staff goes in and then goes out
Spread things up and start to shout!
In! Out!
Well, the maiden’s child has a wizard’s staff.
I saw! I saw!
Well, the maiden’s child has a wizard’s staff,
I saw!
Well, the maiden’s child has a wizard’s staff
After all he’s a real son-of-a-staff.
Poor thing! Poor thing!
O, the wizard’s staff has a knob on the end. - 4
It does! It does!
O, the wizard’s staff has a knob on the end.
It does!
O, the wizard’s staff has a knob on the end.
And the wizard’s staff is the wizard’s friend.
It is! It is!
Footnotes:
1 - The next two verses are said to have been made up at the Ankh Morpork Heroes Gym and Public Baths during a meeting of the Leather Posing Pouch Society. This is denied by the heroes, who want to continue life in their current form ( and species). It is backed up by the proven fact that heroes usually spell their names with an X; and usually get the spelling wrong. And besides why would they want to slander a bunch of old men in long red dresses trimmed with lace. Wizard’s counter with that’s not stopping anyone because any stupid nit can hire a scribe and who need to write words down for a song anyway. And what really goes on down at the Gym since everyone knows that heroes don’t bathe, so where do they get off calling it a public bath anyway?
2 - The rest of the verses were written by th first year students of Unseen University; who weren’t in a position to know any better; at least not yet.
3 - no, this is not a repeat of a previous verse.
4 - yes, this is a repeat of a previous verse.
Yeah, sounds legit. LOL... it’s a glorified pimp job. The studio puts them there as a legal defense. And if the actress won’t do what the customer says, pretty soon she’ll be back out on the street.
Nothing like a pimp. LOL
The Tolkien Estate should’ve never agreed to let Amazon produce a LOTR series.
GoT was an excellent 3/4 of a series, but then went completely off the rails for seasons 7&8. The ending was a letdown.
Game of Thrones never pretended to be a family-friendly show. Whereas Tolkien deliberately downplayed the lovemaking because he wanted to tell a tale for all ages.
Tolkein was merciful in not addressing this subject.
Do we really want to know if Dwarven women have longer beards than the men
It became less as the series progressed. The first few episodes had stuff that looked like scenes for a Bob Guccione movie, probably to generate buzz and draw viewers in. Then just boobs and butts, and some bush in a couple of episodes.
Comparable to some edgier scenes in the 1990s Outer Limits episodes that didn't generate any outrage.
It dwindled to nothing in the last two seasons.
Strider (Aragorn) was the best character ever, beginning with the books, long before the movie.
and outside of LOTR, Tolkien was not above putting such puns with double meanings into his poetry.
However, wizards in Tolkien are not the wizards of Harry Potter or even of history: historically, a wizard was a man who used magical powers to manipulate things and people, often for wealth or power for himself or for the king. The question of where they got the power is debated: see the discussion in That Hideous Strength by CS Lewis.
In Tolkien, the seven wizards are Maiar (Tolkien’s angels) who agreed to be incarnated in men's bodies so that they could help humans and elves to fight Sauron (who was also a Maia). They did not seek power via magic: They were angels who already had higher powers than men.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maia_(Middle-earth)
The seven wizard were forbidden to force men or to rule them. When Saruman tried to take the ring, it was because in his pride he wanted to rule.
I saw five minutes of GofT. Quit because of sadistic violence, never got to sex.
No idea. But they’ve released Third Age and now Second Age, so I suspect if they thought it would be done properly, they’d be open to considering releasing First Age as well.
It's better than nothing and it's very late in coming -- a number of actresses, long upset with what they were being bullied and bribed into doing, took advantage of the #MeToo Moment to agitate for change. But it would still be much better if filmmakers didn't go there at all. There are ALWAYS other ways to shoot the scene. Nudity and graphic sex scenes are mostly a lazy substitute for good writing and tighter direction. The problem is, the major studios are now locked in a race to the bottom, and no one in corporate leadership seems inclined to stop it. Maybe shareholders should start raising hell at annual meetings. It's not just Disney and Netflix. AT&T owns WarnerMedia, which is HBO and myriad other big names. Comcast owns NBCUniversal. Sony is a big player. It's not just Hollywood degenerates running amuck; it's major corporate CEO's in respectable businesses. They should be called to account.
Actors are under enormous pressure to sell out and they risk blacklisting if they object and get labelled a "problem." I would bet that the vast majority of them would welcome reasonable regulation in this area. (The men don't like it any more than the women do; they always sound embarrassed when asked about it in interviews, and if they strip down, they admit to disliking it but say if the actresses have to do it, they will go along as well as a matter of fairness.) I'll bet that most producers and directors would like the pressure to go away as well. The fact is, the great majority of films and tv shows do NOT involve people getting naked. There are many good guys in Hollywood (on the sex stuff, not so much the politics). I suspect that most producers and directors like and respect the actors with whom they work and don't like being pressed to treat them like porn stars. But the bad guys have too much power, and when there are no limits to the downside, a competitive downward spiral can set in. HBO has now brought actual porn performers onto its sets and Netflix is now showing un-simulated sex in a couple of movies. Actors can always turn these roles down, and many do, but they pay a price. We need an updated Hays Code.
Why do you know so much about the devil’s work ? Are you one of his followers ?
its not even good soft porn either /sarc
South Park pretty much covered GoT dead on. Floppy wieners.
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