The Old, Blind Cowboy

The Coach's Team ^ | 5/9/18 | Unk

[Oldpuppymax]

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent…

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

[MisterArtery]

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. Hey! It could happen.

[LonePalm]

Next up: Old white guys!

Hey, I resemble that remark.

I'm up for Tom Swifty, light-bulb, and Chuck Norris jokes as well.

"Ceterum censeo Islam esse delendam."

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[rlmorel]

Hey, we can make fun of leftists, right?

****************************************

The Pope went on vacation to visit Alaska. He was cruising in the Pope-Mobile when he heard a frantic commotion. He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a ‘Vote for Bernie’ hat and a ‘Save the Trees’ shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum slug into the bear’s chest. The other men pulled the semi-conscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp. Then using baseball bats, the loggers finished off the bear. The men dragged the grizzly onto the bed of their pick-up truck and tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of the men over to him. “I give you my blessing for your brave actions!” he proudly proclaimed “I have heard there was bitter hatred between loggers and Democratic environmental activists but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.”

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked, “Who was that guy?”

“Dude, that was the Pope,” another replied. “He’s in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.”

“Well,” the logger said, “he may have access to all wisdom but he doesn’t know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is our bait still alive or do we need to go back to California and get a fresh one?”