Posted on 10/03/2015 2:27:03 PM PDT by PROCON
There exists in this world a condiment below all others. It has all of the flavor of sawdust and the sublime texture of soap scum. Until recently, I was unaware that The Federalist, lovers of freedom, etc., was complicit in its spread. I rise today to defend Americanay, the worldagainst such scurrilous anti-food propaganda.
As all Americans, especially Texans, know, mayonnaise is a tool of oppression used by communists and bland-food lovers everywhere. It is a form of mind control designed to cow you into a sense of complacency about life. Food has flavor, and mayo covers that flavor up. It destroys your ability to taste.
What do you do to a food if it is too intense, and youre not Texan? You add mayonnaise. In much the same way that salt is used to flavor food, mayonnaise is used to bland it. It is flavors anti-particle: it annihilates on contact.
Hello, People: The French Invented Mayonnaise
(Excerpt) Read more at thefederalist.com ...
If you use yolks, pressed garlic, and oil...you have aoli.
Mustard is where its at man.
Wow, self-catered the guests into the ER..
Technically not...the Mayo was simply doing what it was designed to do - which is to SICKEN the GREATEST NUMBER OF PEOPLE in the shortest time.
But yes, if instead of letting Mayo reach 90F for a few hours they had let pork or chicken do the same for a few day, then yes, lots of people sick too.
Ham and swiss grinder without mayo? No way, no how. Salami grinder gets mustard, hamburger gets ketchup. But God made mayo for ham and swiss.
Shalula hot sauce is good.
But I don't wanna be "you", I wanna be "me", and how can I be "me" if you're "me"?
Can I stand on the outside and be someone else? I wanna be your huckleberry ... no, better yet --- tag, you're "it".
Besides which, I like cheese and my sister is still getting over that moose-bite.
Used to stock up when I visited family in New Orleans (where it's made). Now it's starting to appear on shelves in North Texas.
Ketchup, tabasco, pepper, etc.
Mayonnaise? Nope.
Dill pickle chips and mayonnaise.
On sour dough.
We eat quite a bit of mayo but certainly not a jar a month. My son, grandsons and I eat it on hot dogs. It’s great. Although we do get looks from people when we do it sometimes. Can’t stand mustard of any kind so it’s a great replacement.
Next time you're constipated, try eating a hot roast beef sandwich with lots of mayo. Just make sure there is an empty bathroom nearby.
That crap shouldn’t be fed to rabid dogs much less humans.
What? How do you make a BLT without it?
I love mayo!
Gawd
One way people could probably avoid it is to make their own out of fresh ingredients and store it properly.
Dear God, man!
I love mayonnaise. I’ve been on a sriracha mayonnaise kick recently. I don’t like ketchup and only like spicy mustard. I like horseradish sauce, too.
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