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Obama Says Armed Response to Muslim Terrorism Wrong Approach [satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 Jan 2015 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/16/2015 11:40:57 PM PST by John Semmens

While attempting not appear to condone the murder of the Hebdo staff and the Jewish hostages at a kosher supermarket in Paris last week, President Obama blamed France's failure to integrate Muslims into their society.

"The fact is, Europe has done a poor job of making Muslim immigrants feel welcome," Obama said. "In country after country Muslims are isolated in ghetto-like conditions rather than dispersed among the general population like they are in the United States."

The President dismissed contentions that the concentration of Muslims into enclaves was by choice. "The Muslim way of life has very specific requirements," Obama asserted. "Practitioners need to be free to drop down wherever they are to answer the five daily calls to prayer. Men need to be free to walk the streets without being lured into raping uncovered women or being assaulted by the aroma of roasting pork. They need to be secure from insults to their faith. General European societies do not meet these requirements. So Muslims are forced to try to insulate themselves from a depraved environment."

"Tracking down and arresting or killing the perpetrators of attacks like those we saw in Paris is too little, too late," the President contended. "A proactive policy of accommodating the needs of the Muslim faith would interdict the sources of animosity before they explode into violence. If communities could provide convenient sites for prayer so that Muslims wouldn't have to block streets, if women were more fully clothed in public, if only halal foods were offered, Muslims would feel more at home and have less cause for anger."

An important component of the President's vision of a "proactive policy" is "the prevention of offensive journalism." "A responsible media would not engage in the dissemination of words or pictures that disturb Islamic jihadis," Press Secretary Josh Earnest alleged. "Americans can be assured that the President will take the steps he deems necessary to see that this doesn't happen here."

In related news, Secretary of State John Kerry defended the Administration's decision to send James Taylor to France to sing one of his hit songs--"You've Got a Friend"--in lieu of joining other heads-of-state who marched for press freedom and against Islamic extremism. "The march conveyed an 'us vs. them' image that President Obama feels undermines his efforts to find common ground with Muslims driven to violence," Kerry explained. "We both believe that 'music has charms to soothe a savage breast.' A song about friendship will do more to abate anger on both sides than an 'in-your-face' defense of the free speech rights of purveyors of blasphemy. Even the Pope is in agreement with us on this."

Kerry has also offered to "give a big hug" to anyone in Paris who wants one. Thus far there have been no takers.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=159521.new#new


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Military/Veterans; Politics; Religion
KEYWORDS: islam; kerry; obama; satire; terror
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To: John Semmens

No one wants to hug Lurch?


21 posted on 01/17/2015 6:10:41 AM PST by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: John Semmens

When are you going to start writing satire again?

;)


22 posted on 01/17/2015 6:27:18 AM PST by dynachrome (Vertrou in God en die Mauser)
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To: John Semmens

A “Savage Breast”

I haven’t seen one of those in 20 years...
do they still esixt?


23 posted on 01/17/2015 6:44:08 AM PST by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: GreenHornet

Will Idiot Stick have James Taylor whisper a tune at the State of The Union Address?
Maybe the assembly can then join hands and sing Kumbaya!


24 posted on 01/17/2015 10:13:55 AM PST by GOYAKLA (Leftist women are such a damned embarrassment...)
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To: John Semmens

You don’t need to satirize Obama’s preprosperous pronouncements. The jokes just write themselves.

How about Friday when he introduced the PM of Britain by recalling that “Today is the 200th anniversary of the Battle of New Orleans which we remember as a great victory over Britain by Britain just thinks of as a Hiccup (or cipher, or afterthought) because the peace treaty had been signed 3 weeks prior.”

What kind of ham-handed insult was that?


25 posted on 01/17/2015 11:24:45 AM PST by afraidfortherepublic
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To: ProtectOurFreedom; BCW

It’s true. I read it earlier this week and just shook my head. The idea of a buch of kids throwing canned goods at an intruder struck me as folly.


26 posted on 01/17/2015 11:27:36 AM PST by afraidfortherepublic
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To: afraidfortherepublic

I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels that way about that very strange beginning of the speech.

I heard it while I was tracking down the channel changer and thought...out loud...What the h...?


27 posted on 01/17/2015 11:42:08 AM PST by berdie
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To: berdie

Well that make 4. I can’t believe nobody has mentioned it on air. I told a guy at the bank about it, and his face just eflected my feelings. Everybody is concentrating on the equally bizarre use of James Taylor in Paris.

All I could think of was Obama returning the bust of Winston Churchill when I watched that introduction. I decided to pursue other tasks instead of listening any more. I came back just in time to hear Cameron refer to our President as “Barak”. Isn’t “Mr. President” or “Mr. Obama” customary? I don’t think I’ve ever heard a world leader referring to George, Bill, Ronnie, Jimmy, Dick, Jack, Ike, Harry, or Franklin.


28 posted on 01/17/2015 12:00:20 PM PST by afraidfortherepublic
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To: John Semmens

I wish it really was true satire. Thank you for the truth with a cynical spin.

The U.S. looks incredibly foolish in the face of these deadly assaults on freedom from Islam. This week, several friends separately stated to me, that we are deeply into the global battles of the last world war.

Kerry and Obama do not realize that it is not a game nor even politically justifiable any more. We are living through violent attacks on the very existence of a free society. The effectiveness of American government has collapsed, and America’s military strength has been eroded by malicious political sabotage. Here at FR, we know and discuss the truth of the situation, yet the press is nearly silent, the economy subverted, and any real US political leadership for freedom has evaporated.

The Ballots in November were clear, re change in political policy required in the US, yet no change has appeared — in fact, Obama has dug-in, dictator style. There appears to be no real political opposition. The people are not aligned with leadership, being a situation that always has a very volatile outcome in history.


29 posted on 01/17/2015 12:55:05 PM PST by FlyingEagle
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To: afraidfortherepublic
The idea of a bunch of kids throwing canned goods at an intruder struck me as folly.

Refusing to arm the teachers is folly. However, in the absence of armed teachers, the kids are going to die anyway. They might as well go down fighting. They have textbooks, notebooks, iPads, shoes, etc. Teach them to fight back with whatever they have, instead of cowering under their desks where they can neither fight nor run. Teach them that even if some of them get killed, the rest can swarm the attacker. Instill some fighting spirit into them.

30 posted on 01/17/2015 1:24:01 PM PST by JoeFromSidney (Book RESISTANCE TO TYRANNY, available from Amazon.)
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To: afraidfortherepublic
I came back just in time to hear Cameron refer to our President as “Barak”. Isn’t “Mr. President” or “Mr. Obama” customary?

I noticed that Obama referred to Cameron as "David." That also sounded wrong.

31 posted on 01/17/2015 11:47:06 PM PST by TChad (The Obamacare motto: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.)
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To: John Semmens
Thanks again for the ping. Now where is the satire? LOL
32 posted on 01/18/2015 5:39:03 PM PST by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

With each passing day, satirizing the Obama administration becomes more and more like shooting fish in a barrel.


33 posted on 01/20/2015 8:14:59 AM PST by WayneS (Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.)
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