Posted on 04/23/2014 3:09:52 AM PDT by Cincinatus' Wife
".......... Lily, just like better-off men and women, believes that marriage means an unqualified commitment to the other spouse. When you marry someone, you support him in hard times. You stick with him when he disappoints you. You visit him if he ends up in jail. And you encourage him to become an important part of your children’s lives. It’s just that Lily doesn’t believe that Carl is worth that commitment. Nor does she believe that she will meet someone who will meet her standards anytime soon, and the statistics back her up.
The economy has changed. A higher percentage of men today than 50 years ago have trouble finding steady employment, securing raises and promotions, or remaining sober and productive. Blue-collar men like Carl have lost ground while more highly educated men have gained. The unemployment rate for all men ages 20–24 is almost 13 percent, and those with only a high school education are more than twice as likely to be unemployed as those with a college degree. Moreover, many of the jobs that are available have become less reliable than they were for Carl’s dad. They don’t pay as well, last as long, or offer promotions or training. Carl has quit more than one job because he got fed up with his boss. More recently, he was laid off because construction work dried up during a particularly cold spell during the winter. After the layoff, he hung around with his friends, drinking and playing video games. Lily finally had enough when she found out that Carl had run up several hundred dollars in expenses on her credit card......."
(Excerpt) Read more at slate.com ...
Why not just order brides off the internet from Thailand or somewhere?
We had them raised without fathers just like the set up glorified and rationalized in this article. My Dad was my example. How to grow up, how to marry, how to be devoted, how to father, how to improve, how to neighbor, how to suffer, and finally how to meet death,
In the world of Slate, a sperm bank will do all those things.
Immigration, and especially illegal immigration, is very much more male than female.
With the way feminists have destroyed the younger male generation in this country (why work when the social safetyu net will support you? Why get married when almost every girl you date will spread her legs anyway? etc) and the way men normally get screwed in divorces (although that may have changed a little per the article the mindset is still there) young men just don't see the need to be ready for marriage.
(of course this leaves a bunch of marriage minded young ladies available for older guys who are looking to get married. But the feminists will complain about that too)
Someone up thread mentioned Latino women being subservient. Not as far as I've seen. But they are in many cases not rabid men haters and do tend to be more feminine. I know a few guys who married foreign brides for exactly this reason.
From the article:
Does society have an interest in helping couples like Lily and Carl stay together? Probably, but not in the way many policymakers have proposed. Those who would promote marriage seek to do so largely by taking away Lily’s independence.
Bold faced lie.
New York Times columnist Ross Douthat, for example, suggests that more restrictive abortion policies could increase the marriage rate. And many who seek to promote marriage, like the Catholic Church, link the availability of contraception to the sexual freedom they see as responsible for the decline in marriage. Others, like Charles Murray, would cut programs such as Medicaid, food stamps, early childhood education and child care, mandatory family leave, and other policies that make it easier for women like Lily to raise a child on their own.
None of these changes decrease her independence.. IN FACT if she is using any of these programs she is not independent at all. She is depending on the taxpayers to fix her mistake.
What she should do is have the baby, put it up for adoption, and then wait for a man to marry before getting knocked up again.
In our view what would make the most difference to this unfair marriage market are policies that would increase the number and quality of jobs available to working class men,
Good so far.
retraining and unemployment benefits that fill in the gaps between jobs,
And here they blow it. Subsidizing people who are not working only gets you more people not working!
Let’s not make raising a child become yet another marker of class.
It hasn't been for years. The welfare class pops out little meal tickets left and right.
I’m sure that’s a big part of it.
Charles Murray’s thesis that an upper-middle-class relaxing of standards that they themselves follow, but the working class adopt to their detriment probably has credence too.
“Those who would promote marriage seek to do so largely by taking away Lily’s independence.”
“Lily” is going to be DEPENDENT on someone.
It will be a husband or father, an employer, or the government.
And meanwhile, “Lily” is raising the next generation of fatherless kids that will accelerate societal decline.
Those of us that pay taxes are paying for the lifestyle of the two people in the article and the leftists’ programs made it feasible for them to grow up and parent in this manner.
Doesn't work well. The immigrant women get corrupted by American feminists.
There is a trend of retired American men going to other countries, where the retirement check goes further, and where they are not subject to US divorce laws, and marrying a woman there. Columnist Fred Reed went to Mexico, found a much younger Mexican woman, and appears very happy there.
It is odd how jobs don't last when you QUIT them.
“he got fed up with his boss”
“He was always tellin’ me what to do & stuff...”
:^/
It is amazing how bosses think they can boss you around just because they give you money to do exactly that.
And hey, look at what a great job they do with their children. That’s a clear, unambiguous example of how they’re on the ball.
It is amazing how women boss their husbands around, just because their husbands give them money to do exactly that!
Foolish writer. Doesn't realize that - with a good man - such a promise works both ways. But, I'm sure that she doesn't have any faults for *her* man to overlook. I love my wife unabashedly, for both her virtues and her flaws.
This article - for people who take it to heart - is an excellent recipe for women to wind up alone, in a house, with 27 cats.
No no no, Tax-chick. You have it all wrong. You must be a typical feminazi American woman with no kids and a cushy job you took from a man. (Snicker, snicker. I know better, by the way.)
These women really do love these American guys. It’s not about money or a permanent visa or citizenship. Or taking half his paycheck and sending it to her family in Chiapas. It’s about uh, love. Yeah...love. That’s it.
Sure, he’s only met the woman twice but proposed anyway. And yeah, the guy is 54 and has never married. Or dated anyone. And maybe he does have some serious control issues. Oh, and he lives in a dank basement apartment near an industrial park. But it’s about love. Somewhat. Mostly it’s about serving him and making his family and coworkers finally believe that he can get a woman even though he’s kinda gross and creepy.
The language and cultural barrier only make the relationship more mysterious and romantic. He hands her a pan and she *knows” without him saying a word, that he wants dinner. He gently guides her to the broom closet or the bedroom and she just knows what he needs. Doing the job no American woman will do.
That’s what it’s all about. I think, anyway.
Run coop! Run like you’ve never run before!! :-)
That's a very good point, and evidence of the continuing bias in how women and men are portrayed in the culture. Even though both women and men are responsible for the increased incidence of single parent families, feminists and liberals seem unwilling to ascribe any responsibility to the women involved for their own circumstances. Or to recognize that cultural changes advocated by liberals have lead to the situation now faced by many young women and their children.
Reversing the trend of replacing husbands with the government won't be easy, but it would help millions of children have a better life.
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