Posted on 07/04/2011 1:19:27 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
We live in a backwards world where great things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people, and where Sarah Palin is considered a legitimate presidential candidate. The greatest example of the inverse nature of our universe is the success, or lack of success found by restaurants around the world, particularly the United States. We live in a world where Noah’s Bagels nears bankruptcy while McDonalds thrives on our fatty flesh (and charging for sauce packets? GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.).
In a list published by The Street, twenty restaurant chains are at risk of going under. Some are on their way up, others on their way down, and some are just chilling out in mediocrity. The list was compiled using an Altman score which combines a bunch of different factors to measure the health of a company (and its investment quality). Over a 3.1, you’re all good; under a 1.8 and you’re screwed; anywhere in between is a glorious grey mass. It should be noted that a company filing for bankruptcy does not equal its’ speedy dismissal from this Earth. Marie Callender’s went bankrupt earlier this year, and while they’ll be closing many of their mediocre restaurants; I’m almost positive the one outside Six Flags Magic Mountain will remain open. Thank God, how else am I supposed to get free parking for Six Flags? Oh, and expensive pies.
Red Robin and Sonic are both on their way out of despair, which is a shame; there is nowhere more mediocre than a Sonic restaurant. It’s the kind of place people go to because they can’t come up with anything more interesting, or after they've already been to Carl’s Jr. four times that week. Red Robin is overpriced, and the service has always been “meh”. Seriously, charge me fifteen dollars for a burger without smiling? Screw you, bro.
Noah’s Bagels is also recovering, which is great; because I’d probably cry if the only decent bagel place in my area shut down. Domino’s Pizza is also considered a bankruptcy risk, although its’ stock has risen 85% over the past year. It remains 29% lower than it was pre-recession, but that’s partially because the pizza tasted like cardboard until about a year ago. Moral of the story: bad companies have a harder time selling their slop when no one has any money.
DineEquity, the restaurant group that owns Applebee’s and IHOP is also struggling mightily, although the almost-as-good-as-TGI-Fridays casual restaurant chain has experienced some growth recently due to a revitalization of the brand. IHOP has continued to struggle though, probably because the pancakes suck, and Denny’s is at least perceived as having a greater swath of options than a place that is dedicated 100% to pancakes, more or less.
Apparently not as many people are thinking Arby’s as the commercials claimed; the Wendy’s/Arby’s group is diverging, so that the company can focus on their namesake brand (Wendy’s). First step: Enough of the damned sea-salt french fries. My hamster loves them, but hey, he also licks a block of salt all day just to get his kicks. This is one company that is moving downwards right now, which seems to be the exception and not the rule on this list.
Denny’s is a weird one because while it has turned a profit four straight years, it has a negative Altman score. I’m obviously not a stock expert, but this seems weird to me. Apparently the chain has underperformed and taken heat for giving away too much food; all I know is that those grand slam breakfasts are freaking awesome -- as is the heartburn that follows.
Here’s a list of the twenty riskiest restaurant stocks, better head out to your favorite’s to hopefully push them back towards the black! The list goes from least risky to most risky:
Red Robin Gourmet Burgers
Sonic
Ruby Tuesday
J. Alexander’s
Carrols Restaurant Group
Einstein Noah Restaurant Group
O’Charley’s
Kona Grill
Ruth’s Hospitality Group
McCormick & Schmick’s Seafood Restaurant
Bravo Brio Restaurant Group
Domino’s Pizza
Rick’s Cabaret International
DineEquity
Morton’s Restaurant Group
Wendy's/Arby's
Granite City Food & Brewery
Denny’s
Good Times Restaurants
Cosi
I dunno, the clown lost me when he threw that dig at Sarah Palin.
Up His.
I for one wont miss domino’s. Quite possibly the most digusting pizza ever; microwaveable pizza taste better.
He also has no concept of a good pancake. I love IHOP pancakes.
Let’s face it, they aren’t a gourmand delight, but that have that addictive quality White Castles or Jack in the Box Tacos have.
When 2012 finally gets here I’m really going to enjoy pointing and laughing at liberals
Restaurants have a very small profit margin and many of these restaurants rely on high volume and upselling to make a profit.
Plus, you got the Obama inflation and a recessionary economy, which equals stagflation, a word that nobody wants to mention in the media, because that might hurt Obama’s chances for re-election.
Why can’t these idiot Republicans in the elite of the party start attacking Obama for stagflation?
Obamanomics is a complete failure and the GOP is pussyfooting around.
I wouldn’t miss any of them except maybe Denny’s if you’re traveling on Christmas day (they were the only ones open).
I have noticed that Girlymen seem to be hysterically frightened of strong women.
“Another accomplishment of the Obama administration. Can we stand four more years? “
Most countries have NEVER developed the concept of relatively cheap eat-out food. Either you pay THROUGH THE TEETH, or you eat at home. We developed it due to our free-market system, and (relatively) cheap labor.
But those days are quickly going away...and while they may want to blame Palin, the last time that I checked, she was POWERLESS at the national level.
But Obama is far from powerless - and soon, a HUGE swath of what had been American life will be gone, and only the VERY EFFICIENT, like McDonalds, will be around.
Personally, I don’t mind...I’ve had it with expensive places to eat, and love McDonalds, but the liberals will have a cow - and will still likely blame Palin.
Hmmm, is it just me or is this Jacob Sundstrom practically dancing around and pleasuring himself with the thought that all these restaurants favored by us common schmucks going under?
p.s. the IHOP in my neighborhood makes great pancakes.
p.p.s. and where the heck do you find Red Robin Gourmet Burgers?
Ruth’s Chris and Morton’s are way over-rated and the prices are out of control.
You want to drop $40-50 on a steak house, find a Fogo de Chao for unlimited amounts of prime cuts of meat in a great atmosphere; and it’s only $28-32 for lunch during the week.
How can Fuddruckers not be on this list. Food is way over-priced and the quality is bad.
In my former city, the ones only open on new Year’s and Christmas Day were the Chinese and Asian restaurants. It’s sort of like tradition to bring your entire family/clan and enjoy life. Those restos never close as far as I know.
Couldn’t read past the first insulting sentence.
But to the author, I will say:
Resistance is futile!
Prepare to be liberated!
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Happy Independence Day, 2ndDivisionVet!
There is one less than 100 yards from Gillette Stadium at Patriot Place in Foxboro MA. Very good burgers, moderately priced.
“It’s the kind of place people go to because they can’t come up with anything more interesting, or after they’ve already been to Carl’s Jr. four times that week”.
...with digs like this, I’d say this little twirp is enjoying seeing commoner slop houses (as he’d refer to them) going under.
I’m with you.
As soon as I see something like that it stops me cold, realizing I’m reading the writings of an elitist or a drone.
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