Lightning Rod Gets The Zot

The Poet's Eye ^ | Lightning Rod

[Lrod]

A character like Christine O'Donnell presents a unique problem for a humorist. Few elaborations are called for since the caricature is self-embodied. All that is needed is a dead-pan Jack Benny look. You know, the one where he just stares blankly at the audience without saying a word and eventually someone titters and before you know it the whole place is in hysterics? Her very existence as a major party candidate for US Senate is the kind of comedy which arrives ready-written and would only be spoiled by embellishment. I mean, what can you add to rabidantimasturbationtarianism, rats with fully-functioning human brains and her famous Witches of Eastwick campaign ad that looks like it was produced by Tim Burton? I had fully intended to leave Ms. O'Donnell to the other comedians and the pundits who were wearing her out on cable TV. But then came the most recent revelation that she has claimed that her father was Bozo the Clown. Here I had to break my silence, not in the name of humor, but in the cause of veracity. This is a subject I happen to know something about.

Long ago, for one magic season, I was related by marriage to Bozo the Clown. I'm not making this up. My father was a semi-notorious lothario in the television and advertising business. Sometime after he turned 50, he married the 17 year-old daughter of one of his professional colleagues, Larry Harmon, the guy who owned the franchise to Bozo, the Most Famous Clown in the World. He was Bozo Primero, not one of the many FauxZos who were franchised in every major media market. I was much closer to the power center of the Bozo world than Ms. O'Donnell ever dreamed of being. It gave me an intimate glimpse into the backstage life of clowns. I knew little of the inside workings of the clown business in those days. Like a naive child, I had assumed that, you know, Bozo was Bozo. It never occurred to me that there was a school, like a Bozo boot-camp, where imposters went to learn how to walk like a Bozo and talk like a Bozo and draw the red rictus of a smile on their faces with greasepaint. It was like learning a dirty family secret and it was a big disappointment. When you go to see Bozo, you want it to really be Bozo, not some guy dressed up in a Bozo costume.

I hadn't thought about my brief inclusion in greasepaint royalty for years until Ms. O'D surfaced with her claims of actually being a blood relative of Bozo the Clown. The marriage between my father and Princess Bozo, which was chronologically challenged to begin with, barely outlasted the honeymoon. They had about as much in common as Christine would have in common with the 99 other US Senators. Suddenly the whole subject bubbled from my subconscious and made me wonder about franchises and politicians and the authenticity of clowns.

Since John Quincy Adams carried forth his father's political legacy, American politicians have campaigned on the richness of their family's past public service. Roosevelt and Kennedy and Bush all represent minor dynasties and it is entirely in keeping with this tradition for Ms. O'D to claim descent from Bozo. Clowning is as present in the current of American politics as populism, liberalism or conservatism. But in light of Ms. O'D's penchant for resume enhancement, she fibbed about her college career and has downplayed her wiccan studies, her claims to clownly ancestry are also suspect. While she seems like a natural and can certainly get a laugh and works well in the side-shows, one has to wonder if she is really ready for the Big Top, the center ring.

The US Senate is the Big League of Buffoonery. Even pros like Colbert have trouble hanging there. It's a tough room. Notice that Al Franken, even with all his years of practical comic experience, has been keeping mum in deference to the mime-masters of the Senate. These clowns can juggle, ride unicycles, do pratfalls and get shot from cannons, all with the perfect dead-pan of their painted-on media faces. They are consummate clowns adept with all the tricks, the seltzer bottle, the pie-in-the-face, the filibuster. I don't want to get all Stephen King on you but these aren't nice clowns. Ms. O'D should think twice before she alienates her witch constituency, she may need some strong juju to avoid the dunking stool. They'll make her the senator-punk-clown. Every troupe of clowns has one, the smallest clown, bottom of the pecking order, the one who all the other clowns slap and when there is no smaller clown for her to slap, she turns to the audience with her out-turned palms and pitiful Emmett Kelly frown and says, "I am you."

Two of the greatest Senatorial Clowns, Lloyd Bentson and Dan Quayle, in their famous vice-presidential debate in 1988 demonstrated the type of cut-throat comedy these jokers are capable of. When Quayle set the joke up by comparing his inexperience to the inexperience of Jack Kennedy, Bentson spiked it with this punch-line, "Senator," he said, "I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy."

The Poet's Eye would like to say to Christine O'Donnell in this same spirit, "Ms. O'Donnell, you say your father is Bozo. Well, I knew Bozo. Bozo was briefly my step-grand-father-in-law. Christine, your father was no Bozo."

Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you, and I’m wondering what it is I should do. It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face. Losing control yeah I'm all over the place.

Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I am stuck in the middle with you. ---Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty

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[sionnsar]

Got 4's?

D.C. -- I estimate your post to be Sun to Mon.

[Monkey Face]

I’m gone!!
See y’all tomorrow!

[Darksheare]

Ouch.
Bet none of them have been to Tattoine.

[sionnsar]

G’night!!!

[Dead Corpse]

Time will tell.

Helping my parents move a sideboard out of the basement tomorrow, followed by dinner and cards with my Sister. Sunday may be hit or miss for online time.

What will be, will be... ;-)

[Anoreth]

I don’t know. They keep changing when we get underway. If I miss it, I’ll be seriously annoyed.
I’ll do the insurance thing this weekend. This week I’ve been working 15-hour days, which doesn’t leave one in the mood for calling insurance companies.
I bought several seasons of Babylon 5, that way I do something other than work in the evenings. I forgot what a great character Londo is. Still my favorite.

[sionnsar]

Morning, all. Getting up at 5 AM is better than 4 AM, but if I’m up at 6 AM tomorrow it will still be 5 AM.

[Tax-chick]

Londo and G’Kar are the best. Call USAA anyway - you want them to like you. Why would you miss getting underway? Still Alaska?

Late morning here. Everyone slept until 8:30, including Frank. At least, he kept going back to sleep. Ash was fed at 0530 and then sat in her crate feeling ronry. Elen went to a high school football game last night. I was already in bed when she got home. I’m about a third of the way through “Pirates of the Levant.” Not much action yet, but books with Arabs are usually fun, anyhow.

Today is the historic air show in Monroe, with the Pearl Harbor reenactment (neat trick, given we’re 175 miles from the coast ;-). We missed it last time because we went to the art show in Durham.

I’ve rescheduled my dentist appointment twice, and now I need to do it again. Good thing we’re excellent customers over there!

[Tax-chick]

A lol for all teh ships at sea.

[sionnsar]

What are goggies?

[Tax-chick]

Dogs.

[sionnsar]

Ah.

[Monkey Face]

Good morning.

Nothing going on here. At least, until I get Miss Daisy on the road.

[Monkey Face]

I wish my sleep patterns were better, but lately, I've been waking up at 2:00 or 3:00 and not being able to go back to sleep. Last night, I awoke at midnight. *sigh*

My brain feels depraved deprived.

[Tax-chick]

Is there a bank nearby? Bank lobbies make me very sleepy.

[Monkey Face]

I haven’t been inside a bank in years. The credit union, yes, as I still have an account there, but it’s too noisy for sleep. But the suggestion is a good one.

:o]

[sionnsar]

Good morning. Sigh -- I am experiencing something of the same, but later.

A little light in the sky now. LoM will be up in a few hours. Until then I'm still messing with this cellphone, trying to find a way to get my Outlook calendar data onto it.

Maybe I shouldn't be doing this right now -- I was getting alarms that the cellphone wasn't responding when I plugged it into the laptop. Rebooting the laptop I discovered I was using the wrong USB plug. Argh! Maybe I should go get that weekly cup of coffee...

[Monkey Face]

I hate days that start out like that.

Partly cloudy here. Another 80 degree day on the docket.
Then it will get cold again.

[sionnsar]

I hate it when they continue like that. I seem to be going backwards.

[sionnsar]

Cool and rainy here. Rain on through to when I leave.