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Lightning Rod Gets The Zot
The Poet's Eye ^ | Lightning Rod

Posted on 10/23/2010 5:17:52 PM PDT by Lrod

A character like Christine O'Donnell presents a unique problem for a humorist. Few elaborations are called for since the caricature is self-embodied. All that is needed is a dead-pan Jack Benny look. You know, the one where he just stares blankly at the audience without saying a word and eventually someone titters and before you know it the whole place is in hysterics? Her very existence as a major party candidate for US Senate is the kind of comedy which arrives ready-written and would only be spoiled by embellishment. I mean, what can you add to rabidantimasturbationtarianism, rats with fully-functioning human brains and her famous Witches of Eastwick campaign ad that looks like it was produced by Tim Burton? I had fully intended to leave Ms. O'Donnell to the other comedians and the pundits who were wearing her out on cable TV. But then came the most recent revelation that she has claimed that her father was Bozo the Clown. Here I had to break my silence, not in the name of humor, but in the cause of veracity. This is a subject I happen to know something about.

Long ago, for one magic season, I was related by marriage to Bozo the Clown. I'm not making this up. My father was a semi-notorious lothario in the television and advertising business. Sometime after he turned 50, he married the 17 year-old daughter of one of his professional colleagues, Larry Harmon, the guy who owned the franchise to Bozo, the Most Famous Clown in the World. He was Bozo Primero, not one of the many FauxZos who were franchised in every major media market. I was much closer to the power center of the Bozo world than Ms. O'Donnell ever dreamed of being. It gave me an intimate glimpse into the backstage life of clowns. I knew little of the inside workings of the clown business in those days. Like a naive child, I had assumed that, you know, Bozo was Bozo. It never occurred to me that there was a school, like a Bozo boot-camp, where imposters went to learn how to walk like a Bozo and talk like a Bozo and draw the red rictus of a smile on their faces with greasepaint. It was like learning a dirty family secret and it was a big disappointment. When you go to see Bozo, you want it to really be Bozo, not some guy dressed up in a Bozo costume.

I hadn't thought about my brief inclusion in greasepaint royalty for years until Ms. O'D surfaced with her claims of actually being a blood relative of Bozo the Clown. The marriage between my father and Princess Bozo, which was chronologically challenged to begin with, barely outlasted the honeymoon. They had about as much in common as Christine would have in common with the 99 other US Senators. Suddenly the whole subject bubbled from my subconscious and made me wonder about franchises and politicians and the authenticity of clowns.

Since John Quincy Adams carried forth his father's political legacy, American politicians have campaigned on the richness of their family's past public service. Roosevelt and Kennedy and Bush all represent minor dynasties and it is entirely in keeping with this tradition for Ms. O'D to claim descent from Bozo. Clowning is as present in the current of American politics as populism, liberalism or conservatism. But in light of Ms. O'D's penchant for resume enhancement, she fibbed about her college career and has downplayed her wiccan studies, her claims to clownly ancestry are also suspect. While she seems like a natural and can certainly get a laugh and works well in the side-shows, one has to wonder if she is really ready for the Big Top, the center ring.

The US Senate is the Big League of Buffoonery. Even pros like Colbert have trouble hanging there. It's a tough room. Notice that Al Franken, even with all his years of practical comic experience, has been keeping mum in deference to the mime-masters of the Senate. These clowns can juggle, ride unicycles, do pratfalls and get shot from cannons, all with the perfect dead-pan of their painted-on media faces. They are consummate clowns adept with all the tricks, the seltzer bottle, the pie-in-the-face, the filibuster. I don't want to get all Stephen King on you but these aren't nice clowns. Ms. O'D should think twice before she alienates her witch constituency, she may need some strong juju to avoid the dunking stool. They'll make her the senator-punk-clown. Every troupe of clowns has one, the smallest clown, bottom of the pecking order, the one who all the other clowns slap and when there is no smaller clown for her to slap, she turns to the audience with her out-turned palms and pitiful Emmett Kelly frown and says, "I am you."

Two of the greatest Senatorial Clowns, Lloyd Bentson and Dan Quayle, in their famous vice-presidential debate in 1988 demonstrated the type of cut-throat comedy these jokers are capable of. When Quayle set the joke up by comparing his inexperience to the inexperience of Jack Kennedy, Bentson spiked it with this punch-line, "Senator," he said, "I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy."

The Poet's Eye would like to say to Christine O'Donnell in this same spirit, "Ms. O'Donnell, you say your father is Bozo. Well, I knew Bozo. Bozo was briefly my step-grand-father-in-law. Christine, your father was no Bozo."

Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you, and I’m wondering what it is I should do. It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face. Losing control yeah I'm all over the place.

Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I am stuck in the middle with you. ---Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty

Visit The Poet's Eye


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: bozot; christineodonnell; clownzot; hater; humor; kittychow; molassesmiasma; odonnell; ozone; penguinhumor; satire; sionnsar; thepoetseye; troll; vikingkitties; vikingkitty; zot
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To: Tax-chick

Great Clips does my cutting, too. I used to do it, but the arthritis in my elbows and shoulders makes it a chore instead of fun.

I get the senior discount, so it’s worth it to drive two or three miles.


1,961 posted on 11/27/2010 11:14:04 AM PST by Monkey Face (TSA: A government union for molesters.)
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To: Anoreth

Lucius? Or Drago?


1,962 posted on 11/27/2010 11:16:15 AM PST by Monkey Face (TSA: A government union for molesters.)
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To: Tax-chick

Or on the 30th. Not sure — I have an easy day on the 1st.


1,963 posted on 11/27/2010 11:21:35 AM PST by sionnsar (IranAzadi|5yst3m 0wn3d-it's N0t Y0ur5:SONY|Why are TSA exempt from their own searches?)
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To: Monkey Face; Anoreth

Lucius shouldn’t be unshaven. I understand he’s under stress and all, but still ...

Joanne said Draco doesn’t look like Malcolm McGuinness any more.


1,964 posted on 11/27/2010 11:31:24 AM PST by Tax-chick (We know that terrorists are Moslems. I repeat, we know that terrorists are Moslems.)
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To: Tax-chick; Anoreth

Whoever Draco looks like, he’s a fine little actor. I hated him in the very first movie. His dad, however, is/was the kind of bad boy I could generate a real...FReepmail will say the phrase


1,965 posted on 11/27/2010 11:40:15 AM PST by Monkey Face (TSA: A government union for molesters.)
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To: sionnsar

How are you feeling today?


1,966 posted on 11/27/2010 12:10:51 PM PST by Monkey Face (TSA: A government union for molesters.)
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To: Monkey Face

So-so. I may put up the lights this afternoon, am still installing programs on the laptop, discovered the cellphone’s battery ran down... kind of a mixed-up day. But the church’s sale is on today so I’ll go out and swing by later.


1,967 posted on 11/27/2010 12:15:04 PM PST by sionnsar (IranAzadi|5yst3m 0wn3d-it's N0t Y0ur5:SONY|Why are TSA exempt from their own searches?)
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To: Tax-chick

Draco was always much hotter than Malcolm.


1,968 posted on 11/27/2010 12:16:04 PM PST by Anoreth (....a fetid behemoth of toxic pustules oozing all over the basement....)
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To: sionnsar
Again this year, I won't be decorating. All my holiday decorations are in storage and will stay there until such time as I can get a one-bedroom place.

(Or the real estate fairy blesses me with enough money to buy a home...)

All I've been putting out are Nativities. I can't seem to get enough of them. Maybe I can find a new one when I go to LR and have it sent to me here. :o]

1,969 posted on 11/27/2010 12:30:33 PM PST by Monkey Face (TSA: A government union for molesters.)
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To: Tax-chick; sionnsar

It’s clumping over outside. Starting to look ugly. *sigh*

I was out in the chill early this morning, and now my right ear is hurting a little. I hate that.


1,970 posted on 11/27/2010 12:32:46 PM PST by Monkey Face (TSA: A government union for molesters.)
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To: Monkey Face

We’ve been in places too small for a tree. But we’re putting off the rest of the Christmas decorations until Christmas. The lights are just to provide a little cheer in the gloom.


1,971 posted on 11/27/2010 12:40:19 PM PST by sionnsar (IranAzadi|5yst3m 0wn3d-it's N0t Y0ur5:SONY|Why are TSA exempt from their own searches?)
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To: sionnsar

I have a table that I could put the tree on, but I would have to go to the storage unit and find it, then I’d have to find other decorations, then lights, then more decorations...

It’s jut easier to cover the table top with Nativities of all different kinds. The more the merrier!


1,972 posted on 11/27/2010 12:48:16 PM PST by Monkey Face (TSA: A government union for molesters.)
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To: Anoreth; Monkey Face

Draco was too wimpy to be hot, until the most recent episode. And I understand that teenage girls find Malcolm very appealing. Even Patrick has a girlfriend or two.

(Malcolm is Bill’s best friend in Scouts; he has long blonde hair and his acne is clearing up. Patrick is his older brother, and he’s rather batty, although not on the level of our Pat.)


1,973 posted on 11/27/2010 12:54:31 PM PST by Tax-chick (We know that terrorists are Moslems. I repeat, we know that terrorists are Moslems.)
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To: Tax-chick

No one could ever compare to our Patrick!


1,974 posted on 11/27/2010 12:56:12 PM PST by Monkey Face (TSA: A government union for molesters.)
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To: Monkey Face

True dat - he is off the Far Side.


1,975 posted on 11/27/2010 12:59:14 PM PST by Tax-chick (We know that terrorists are Moslems. I repeat, we know that terrorists are Moslems.)
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To: Tax-chick

Malcolm is okay, I guess.


1,976 posted on 11/27/2010 1:02:08 PM PST by Anoreth (....a fetid behemoth of toxic pustules oozing all over the basement....)
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To: Anoreth

You’re too old for him, at least at this point in your life. If you were 29 and he was 26, it wouldn’t matter.

He can hold a conversation, which is not to be sneezed at in a boy his age.


1,977 posted on 11/27/2010 1:03:42 PM PST by Tax-chick (We know that terrorists are Moslems. I repeat, we know that terrorists are Moslems.)
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To: Tax-chick

Our Patrick fits right in with my bunch...


1,978 posted on 11/27/2010 1:12:25 PM PST by Monkey Face (TSA: A government union for molesters.)
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To: Monkey Face

Scary.


1,979 posted on 11/27/2010 1:59:38 PM PST by Tax-chick (We know that terrorists are Moslems. I repeat, we know that terrorists are Moslems.)
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To: Tax-chick

Not to me. But then, I’ve lived through it. :o])

*e-vil laughter*


1,980 posted on 11/27/2010 2:03:52 PM PST by Monkey Face (TSA: A government union for molesters.)
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