Lightning Rod Gets The Zot

The Poet's Eye ^ | Lightning Rod

[Lrod]

A character like Christine O'Donnell presents a unique problem for a humorist. Few elaborations are called for since the caricature is self-embodied. All that is needed is a dead-pan Jack Benny look. You know, the one where he just stares blankly at the audience without saying a word and eventually someone titters and before you know it the whole place is in hysterics? Her very existence as a major party candidate for US Senate is the kind of comedy which arrives ready-written and would only be spoiled by embellishment. I mean, what can you add to rabidantimasturbationtarianism, rats with fully-functioning human brains and her famous Witches of Eastwick campaign ad that looks like it was produced by Tim Burton? I had fully intended to leave Ms. O'Donnell to the other comedians and the pundits who were wearing her out on cable TV. But then came the most recent revelation that she has claimed that her father was Bozo the Clown. Here I had to break my silence, not in the name of humor, but in the cause of veracity. This is a subject I happen to know something about.

Long ago, for one magic season, I was related by marriage to Bozo the Clown. I'm not making this up. My father was a semi-notorious lothario in the television and advertising business. Sometime after he turned 50, he married the 17 year-old daughter of one of his professional colleagues, Larry Harmon, the guy who owned the franchise to Bozo, the Most Famous Clown in the World. He was Bozo Primero, not one of the many FauxZos who were franchised in every major media market. I was much closer to the power center of the Bozo world than Ms. O'Donnell ever dreamed of being. It gave me an intimate glimpse into the backstage life of clowns. I knew little of the inside workings of the clown business in those days. Like a naive child, I had assumed that, you know, Bozo was Bozo. It never occurred to me that there was a school, like a Bozo boot-camp, where imposters went to learn how to walk like a Bozo and talk like a Bozo and draw the red rictus of a smile on their faces with greasepaint. It was like learning a dirty family secret and it was a big disappointment. When you go to see Bozo, you want it to really be Bozo, not some guy dressed up in a Bozo costume.

I hadn't thought about my brief inclusion in greasepaint royalty for years until Ms. O'D surfaced with her claims of actually being a blood relative of Bozo the Clown. The marriage between my father and Princess Bozo, which was chronologically challenged to begin with, barely outlasted the honeymoon. They had about as much in common as Christine would have in common with the 99 other US Senators. Suddenly the whole subject bubbled from my subconscious and made me wonder about franchises and politicians and the authenticity of clowns.

Since John Quincy Adams carried forth his father's political legacy, American politicians have campaigned on the richness of their family's past public service. Roosevelt and Kennedy and Bush all represent minor dynasties and it is entirely in keeping with this tradition for Ms. O'D to claim descent from Bozo. Clowning is as present in the current of American politics as populism, liberalism or conservatism. But in light of Ms. O'D's penchant for resume enhancement, she fibbed about her college career and has downplayed her wiccan studies, her claims to clownly ancestry are also suspect. While she seems like a natural and can certainly get a laugh and works well in the side-shows, one has to wonder if she is really ready for the Big Top, the center ring.

The US Senate is the Big League of Buffoonery. Even pros like Colbert have trouble hanging there. It's a tough room. Notice that Al Franken, even with all his years of practical comic experience, has been keeping mum in deference to the mime-masters of the Senate. These clowns can juggle, ride unicycles, do pratfalls and get shot from cannons, all with the perfect dead-pan of their painted-on media faces. They are consummate clowns adept with all the tricks, the seltzer bottle, the pie-in-the-face, the filibuster. I don't want to get all Stephen King on you but these aren't nice clowns. Ms. O'D should think twice before she alienates her witch constituency, she may need some strong juju to avoid the dunking stool. They'll make her the senator-punk-clown. Every troupe of clowns has one, the smallest clown, bottom of the pecking order, the one who all the other clowns slap and when there is no smaller clown for her to slap, she turns to the audience with her out-turned palms and pitiful Emmett Kelly frown and says, "I am you."

Two of the greatest Senatorial Clowns, Lloyd Bentson and Dan Quayle, in their famous vice-presidential debate in 1988 demonstrated the type of cut-throat comedy these jokers are capable of. When Quayle set the joke up by comparing his inexperience to the inexperience of Jack Kennedy, Bentson spiked it with this punch-line, "Senator," he said, "I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy."

The Poet's Eye would like to say to Christine O'Donnell in this same spirit, "Ms. O'Donnell, you say your father is Bozo. Well, I knew Bozo. Bozo was briefly my step-grand-father-in-law. Christine, your father was no Bozo."

Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you, and I’m wondering what it is I should do. It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face. Losing control yeah I'm all over the place.

Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I am stuck in the middle with you. ---Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty

Visit The Poet's Eye

[little jeremiah]

Just happened to see your comment, Tax-chick!

Have you ever made corn tortillas from masa in a tortilla press? I learned years ago and now make my own. It’s cheaper and they are so delicious, and can last for a few days in a plastic bag in the fridge. Or would, except we eat them all.

They are so good we eat them just with a little butter often. Or wrap up stuff in them like fresh tomatoes, cheese and sprouts, etc. I love refried beans but hub does not... :-(

[Monkey Face]

I’m still rather full, and am having a Restorative.

The drive over to the other side of the valley was almost an hour in the process. I forgot the pie before I had gone half a mile, so I turned around and came back for it; Cricket told me I’d have to buy a new phone; the credit union is on my black list; I had to stop at my daughter’s, even though she wasn’t home; then I had to stop for water because I had forgotten to take the bottle out of the fridge when I got the pie, and then it was on to The Pone’s place.

The drive home took 20 minutes.

Yes, I need the Restorative!

[Monkey Face]

I get Mexicangrocer.com email, and they sell the masa and the press, and I keep waiting for a special occasion to buy the gift set and treat myself.

It’s been seven years, now...:o|

[Tax-chick]

We have made flour tortillas, and it’s possible he tried corn. I’m sure he used the masa harina in tamales once or twice, too, and Bill made pupusas with reasonable success, under the circumstances.

Asuncion - who is from Morelia, Michoacan, Mexico - said tortillas are so cheap here that you would only hand-make them for your mother-in-law ... and hers is in Mexico!

[Monkey Face]

That’s interesting!
Of course when I learned to make them, they couldn’t be found in stores unless you were in a decidedly Mexican village here.

[fanfan]

Not really. Freezing rain this morning. Almost 40 accidents in an hour.
Actually, almost 41...the road was ice covered when I left for work, and some idiot was tail gating me. A truck coming towards me was on the center line, so I took my foot off the gas. The guy behind me hit his brakes and spun out, coming to rest right in front of the oncoming truck, which managed to stop JUST in time. LOL!

How are you?

[Tax-chick]

It was the same when I was younger - hard to get tortillas. Now you can buy a pack of 60 corn tortillas for $2 at Walmart. Maybe making your own would be a fraction of a cent cheaper, if you could find a cheap source of lard, but what’s your time worth? Even if you don’t have a paying job, wouldn’t you rather be sitting in the living room with your grandchildren?

[Monkey Face]

No snow, but stupid drivers. Black Friday. I hated to be out in it, but I had to visit my sister and niece.

It was nice, but I got tired and left sooner than I wanted. Still, I had a Munchkin on my lap, helping me eat turkey and cranberry jelly and Hawaiian rolls with butter, so that was a definite bonus.

Maybe that episode with the guy behind you will have taught him something.

[Monkey Face]

But think how much fun it would be to impress your neighbors! Especially if you don’t have a large coffee table book....

[Tax-chick]

I suppose you could sit at the coffee table and make tortillas with the grandchildren, if you don’t have a dog.

[Anoreth]

Ash likes tortillas.
I went and saw Harry Potter. It was pretty good. Not something the girls should see. They wouldn’t understand the plot anyway. I wouldn’t, probably, if I didn’t already know what was going to happen. It loses something without the text.

[Tax-chick]

Elen’s supposed to go see it tomorrow with Cecelia. If they don’t like it, they’ll learn something.

[Monkey Face]

Sadly, I’ll have to work on the great- side of grandchildren, nieces and nephews. My grandsons are too big and ugly to sit at the coffee table (if I had one) and watch me do anything. There isn’t room in here for a coffee table, OR a dog. Or more than one person. As it is, I often meet myself when I turn around too fast...

[sionnsar]

Turkey was good. Stomach was not, but I had a feeling something might be coming on.

We went out early this afternoon and watched Harry Potter. Pretty dark.

Now home with the church website updated. Can't believe I let it get almost three weeks out of date, but then I've had other issues to deal with, including not being here.

How's the phone?

[Monkey Face]

I’ll wait till the kids are back in school, then go see it. If I feel good, I might even catch Megamind, as it’s playing at the same theater.

I’ll take your word for HP. I’ll wait till the next movie is out, then start buying them. :o]

[Anoreth]

Eh, I guess so. I didn’t think it was particularly scary, but I’m also not ten.

[fanfan]

What is a Hawaiian roll?

Maybe that episode with the guy behind you will have taught him something.

Well, he never did catch up with me. I think he got spooked and went back home. :-)

[Monkey Face]

The kid at the store asked me if it was insured, and I told him it was a new phone, and he said I’d have to buy another one. He was determined that I had dropped it “within the last week,” and I told him it had been dropped three weeks ago onto carpet. Everyone in the store was looking at me like I was a liar.

I’m going to contact Cricket online and see if they give me the same story.

Like I can afford to get a new phone. Not with the trip coming up, I can’t. *sheesh*

It wasn’t a good start to the day.

[Monkey Face]

It’s like a dinner roll, but the brand name is Hawaiian or Hawaiian King rolls. It’s really a sweet dinner roll, and there is also one that some stores carry called Pan de Leche. They are rather interchangeable. I like them both.

I think the Pan may be cheaper than the Hawaiian, but both are delicious!

Let’s hope the tail-gater learned something valuable.

[Monkey Face]

I hope your stomach settles down.
Tell LoM she has some FReepmail.